Tuesday:
My marriage has been declared over by my wife, as she can no longer deal with my long-standing history of head injuries and the havoc this wreaks on our lives. I don't blame the dear lady.

Wednesday: In a deep funk, I bagged my personal possessions, wrote two notes, put one bullet in the gun and prepared to go for a stroll in the country. I was scared of being a burden to others, despondent over the lack of modern medicine in this neck of the woods, and just plain ready to die.

A friend had offered to talk with me five minutes before I was ready to walk out the door forever. Ten minutes later, the gun was unloaded and locked in its case and I placed it in my friend's hand asking him to store it for me. Then I asked him to help me if he could, for I could see that no matter how bad I hurt, it would others worse if I committed the unthinkable and final act.

He very gently asked my permission to pray with me and I agreed. As a DIRECT result of his selflessness and compassion, I awoke from my "spiritual sleep" and renewed my concious contact with God as I understand him.

Fast Forward to here and now:
I have continued to reach out to a few other souls who I have always known in my heart that had the kind of spiritual life that isthe real deal, no preaching, no lecturing, no shoulds and should nots. One friend picked me up today, bought me breakfast, and then fed my soul with simple food of the very best kind.

Today I know I am not forsaken no matter the outward appearance and circumstance.

Where medicine of the physical world cannot reach or heal right now, I know there is a Power that does heal my tired spirit and revives me with the drink of living waters that I may never be thirsty again.

Many things are happening in life that i don't like. That's OK. I don't have to like them, or even fret over them, for more important needs are being met. All because one man took the time to speak the language of the heart and thereby touch my heart, allowing me to swing the door open and let the Love of God back in my life.

I almost never share on these forums. I mostly have lurked for a couple years. I sincerely hope my experience can be of benefit to someone.

And thanks, deep and abiding thanks to all who work so hard to maintain this board. I am ever so grateful.

Dear Fogbrain ~ Thank GOD for your dear friend!! He really IS a true friend. You are very fortunate to have him.

I know how you felt that day. I too have felt the same way having spent the last 24 years in chronic, never-ending severe pain. I can't really blame the medical community, as they've tried to help me. I blame the government for poking their heads in areas where they don't belong, and that is in medicine. They have NO business in trying to control what doctors prescribe to their patients ~ by their intimidating little "raids" that scare the daylights out of doctors and therefore make them reluctant to prescribe the proper pain medications to the patients who need them the most. And of course because of the diseased addicts, we are punished. They are sick ~ I pity them, but because of them, we pay.

Living iin constant, unrelenting pain is horrid, as I'm sure you know. It takes away your life. It ruins families, friends retreat, and nothing is the same. So I totally understand your sorrow that day.

But I also have had a spiritual awakening and nothing is greater than having a personal relationship with your Higher Power. I could probably walk on hot coals ~ if they'd let me use my cane. LOL I never ask why anymore ~ I ask why not? There are so many who have MUCH more serious ailments than me, and perhaps I can help. If I can make one person feel just a little better, then I've had a good day.

I'm SO glad your friend talked to you. God put him in your path that day. That I'm sure of. God bless you "Fogbrain" and please take care. hugs, Lee

There is the truth of it!

And if you walk on hot coals, use a metal cane...I'll be on your other side and we will lean together in the freedom of the spirit.
Jeff