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01-07-2011, 11:55 PM
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What a difficult week this has been. At the end of last week our dog of 15 1/2 years was euthanized. It seemed to come up suddenly even though we knew 15 years was a long time. But Monday brought many tasks related to SSDI, Workers Comp, Disability Retirement, Refills needed from a dr 75 miles away, etc, etc, etc. It has been 7 weeks since I've had a paycheck and yet after 5 phone calls(I don't even want to know how many minutes it adds up to) the best I could get out of anyone was that I only had 8 days left to respond to a letter I had never received. Nor had any of the others who were noted as having been sent the letter. So I don't even know what is in the letter because the woman I spoke with today said she could not discuss what was in it over the phone.
Because I am a federal employee, to file for disability retirement I have to first file for SSDI. Wow, might as well take a hammer to your head as much thinking as that takes. I actually had to do it in three chuncks because my last nerve block is wearing off and the visits are coming more frequent and with a vengence. And I twice have had to call my personal physician and check on the copies of my medical records they are making that I requested 10 days ago. I tried to start filling out my retirement forms, but it is just too much and is too important to do with a brain that is busy doing other things, like buzzing louder than a hornet's nest. But the big thing tonight that seems like piling on is the refills. I call my pm on Mon to make sure it would be done by Thurs, when I would run out of my muscle relaxer and xanax. I checked on Tues, it wasn't ready, my husband went to pick up something else on Wed but mine wasn't ready. I called the pharmacy yesterday to check on it, and the tech's reply was that was just faxed yesterday.. Deep Breathe, Deep Breathe. I checked this morning, different time zone so I have to wait later than I want but they have received nothing from the doc. So I call the Dr off, but he's not in today and she said their fax printer had been down and he had done a big bunch of them yesterday but maybe mine got missed. She finally decided it would be best if I called my primary physician since he had originally prescribed the xanax for me. Well, I knew then that disaster was heading my way. I requested, but aside from the fact that they seldom get requests on Fridays done, the script from my prim phys is for less than what my pm doc has had me taking so it would be too soon to get a refill even if they do get it called in. So here I sit, waiting to enter into this good night with no xanax after taking 1 mg before bed each night and only one zanaflex to use in place of 6 until Monday. I'm trying toremember the words to 'hot time in the old town tonight', but they are just not coming. I tell you all my  sad story not because I fear the next 3 days but to ask for your prayers. My irritation, agitation and cramping I'm sure will try to get the best of me, but greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world. I'm pretty sure I won't be waltzing around like Loretta Young, but I would ask for a measure of mercy and grace as I go my way.So if you feel led, would you add me to your prayer list. And may God grant you in return 10 fold the answers He pours out on me and my husband.  This might be my sign off for the weekend  I'm might crash, but I won't burn, with a grateful heart to the One before Whom passes all that touches me, to God be the glory, pat e    
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