I thought I posted this earlier but guess I didn't. I have a friend and neighbor who has just lost a second son to gang/drug activity. Both boys were big drug dealers and both were murdered in an ongoing struggle for control of the drug traffic in this town..........a college town. She raised six kids, all of them in church and were never left to their own devices when they were young. Their father was in the home until the kids hit their late teens but remained connected to the entire family after the divorce.

My friend is struggling with unwarranted guilt and shame. She keeps saying that if she was a good mother, this would not have happened. I guess I would have the same concerns. It is natural but I wish she could try to focus on the four kids who grew up to be productive citizens and fine parents.

The funeral and graveside service will be private as the last time a son died, it turned out to be a gangster memorial and there was gun shooting at the cemetary. Thank you.

I will keep this family in my prayers. As parents we do the best we can do, it is just sometimes, things don't turn out as we so hoped. The mom should not feel guilt or shame. The scourge of drugs, crosses all barriers, all financial levels, all races. I will pray daily for this mom and family... ginnie

Hi Spine 95 and Ginnie,
Spine95- You are a very supportive friend to request support for your friend!
I, too, will offer prayer around this entire situation.

I had lost two brothers and it was tough. It was an even bigger challenge for my mother, their mother!

There's a lot of info and support out there in many communities, etc.
I'd like to mention a resource for your friend: Please see Colin Tipping's web site.
He does very insightful work with people around forgiveness and grieving, etc.
He has also written a few books on these topics, Radical Forgiveness ,and more. Please take a peek and see if you'd like to offer this info to your friend.
I've read some of his books and they are well worth the time and effort, for sure.
His books are usually available at any bookstore, too! This gentleman is sincere and incredilby heartful in all he offers to anyone willing to work on healing themselves and healing situations. His site is easy to find, just use his name in your search!

With you and your friend...and this entire situation... in mind.

My Very Best,
DejaVu

Praying....................

Sometimes it is hard to understand how God could let something so horrible happen. Your friend must be in unimaginable emotional pain. I will say a prayer for her and her family. You probably could use one yourself. Watching someone you care about go through so much hurts, especially when you are helpless to do anything about it.

My friend will be ok in time. The funeral is today. It and the graveside service are private in order to try to avoid the same sort of trouble they had when the other son was murdered. There was all sorts of shooting at the graveside and it was a nightmare. The family had a private vliewing last evening. The graveside service will be private and the family has requested police protection but the city refused. I understand their attitude towards the drug kingpins but these services are about the family, not the thug. This makes my problems seem rather small. Again, thank you.

Spine95,
Thinking of you, your friends, loved ones today. Trusting all will go well.
May the power of Pure Love prevail today, surrounding, protecting, uplifting and comforting ALL.
Peace and Healing for All,
DejaVu

The funeral is over now without any outside violence. That had been threatened again but never manifested, thank goodness. The family had been through enough. That had been such a worry. Now maybe everyone can start to slowly heal. Thanks.