Going into surgery last Thursday, I had a very deep spiritual problem.... Was a very angry, bitter, and hateful person. We have all had hurtful things in our lives at one point or another, and the way that we deal w our pain is I guess somewhat a part of our current reality.
For me my chronic neck condition was my excuse to be sooooooo miserable. Oh, and I was great at being miserable. How my boyfriend of 10 years stuck with me through it all???
He explained that he loved me and he believed in me. Well, for the first time in an extremely long time, somehow and someway, I too love me and believe in me. Thurs, Fri, and Sat had to of been the most agonizing days in every way shape and form, yet I'm thankful to the universe, God, and all those around me because I pulled through NOT by myself but with the whole universe. My boyfriend was by my side through my whole hospital stay through Sunday morning. He drove me home and I pretty much slept until this morning around 11. I felt renewed and sooooooo ready for a new day. I had been so depressed and I didn't even know it. This depression, anger, etc. was so engrained in me that until this morning when the cloud lifted, I literally knew that not only did I have a new neck; I also, had a renewed spirit. I posted on this spirituality page last week before surgery because I think that my spirit was calling out, and I just want this community to know, your thoughts and prayers literally made all the difference in the world for me. I have a lot of work ahead working on my "heart stuff" .... And I know daily that I must renew myself spiritually and try to help others around me too. I can do this AND I know whoever is reading this CAN too!
Gentle hugs,
rachel