You are doing the right thing. Taking care of yourself is okay and very necessary. I know from my sister that this is difficult and sad and I would expect you feel very tender right now. But you are right it is in God's hands. Until your brother is ready for help and change all you can do is remain open enough so he knows you are there. This can be achieved with minimal exposure on your part, a text message on holidays or other occasion to say hello and I love you. I am praying for you both and hope for better days.

Sending extra hugs, :hug:

I've had some addiction issues in my life with family members. The Alanon family support groups are short of a miracle to help us get thru it. AA saves so many lives. The person needs to get there.

It's a tough road for Everyone but we need to take care of ourselves foremost.

thanks again to everyone here for your kindness, support and continued prayers. my brother is still not doing well and has pushed me and his friends out of his life now. all i can do is pray and hope he gets help soon. it is very difficult to accept that there is nothing more i can do until he is ready to get the proper help he needs. but there is nothing more i can do. he has blocked me from his phone now so he doesn't have to listen to me tell him he needs help anymore. thanks again for your support and i wish you all a happy and healthy 2016!

hi. my brother is not doing too well and i was wondering if you could all pray for him. i have been trying so hard to help him but feel that i have failed miserably. my heart hurts for him. i keep praying that he will get the help he needs and hope that he can be the happy and healthy brother i once knew.

Your pain felt here
I do not think you are the type
Out of sight out of mind

I am suggesting that You have done everything possible
E v e r y t h i n g P o s s i b l e
It is beyond anybody's control
I am suggesting you need to remove yourself
Not give up
But step back and away
So it doesn't hurt as much
Watching your loved one crumble before you and not able to do anything
Such like where I am with my thirty year old daughter
waiting for her to sober up and be a mother to her daughter
my granddaughter
I know where you are and how it feels
I also have had experience
But I also understand some people
just cannot do it
I love my daughter
And have my granddaughter for most her life
Mom and daughter were together and it was short lived
Maybe mom and daughter at its longest time together is no more
than six months
Oh sweet friend do I know
I had to explain away yesterday
Why mom and dad did not pick her up
They slept till two in the afternoon
This the time she should have been picked up the latest is two
I am sorry
The pain is great
We here for you

thank you eva. your words touched my heart and made me feel less alone in dealing with my brothers addiction. it is good to know others understand the pain i feel right now for him, even though i wouldn't wish this pain on anyone and i am so sorry you are feeling it too with your daughter. i hope and pray everyday that my brother will find his way back to me. i will keep praying that your daughter will do the same for you. and i hope that you and anyone else struggling with a loved one who has an addiction can find some peace in their hearts. reading your beautiful words has given me some peace in mine. i hope that i can offer the same peace to you by letting you know that you are not alone and that i care about you too. thank you again for being my friend.

Just because
 

That's what friends are for
And yes you do not know this but you help me
By sharing your love strength and hope
It S. U. C. K. S.
be well
How lucky he is to have your unconditional love
I hope one day he can see that in you
Love
Me

thanks so much eva. i appreciate your kind words. i hope hat your daughter gets better too and can see how lucky she is to have you in her life. i hope you know how very special you are. love and hugs from me to you.

RSD, I know I've mentioned this before but Alanon for YOU could help ease your pain. Believe me, I've been there. We can't change other people and they have to do it and many do well in LONGER rehabs....and having the desire to live. The Alanon family has so much toughlove and compassion to offer and stories of recovery.

One more comment, this book helped me so much. I read the daily message every night when I was going to bed, without fail...http://www.amazon.com/Life-My-Own-Me.../dp/0894868632

Could any of your family and close friends work on an intervention?

Talking about this is bringing back memories of the wonderful people who took my arm when I got to Alanon and went every Thursday for a long time. I'd still be going but this hip surgery mess has changed my life so negatively. I think I'll email or call a couple people who helped me so much.

A good point caroline
 

Good advise
One thing if I may

When involved
It was so much easier to go
With the mind set
Sitting and "just listening"
Is "Medicine" something my mind and body
needs
To get the support
You
Are not alone
I pray he finds his way
And gets bit by going to meetings
And listening
I am sure you know you may attend
an "open" meeting
Your heart in your hands
Caress your soul
Take care of you
So you can be there
Ready
To begin a new life

Love
Me

thank you eva. your kind words always give me some comfort during this painful time. i hope that letting you know i am here if you need to talk provides comfort to you during your painful time as well. love and hugs.

thank you caroline for your kindness too and your helpful advice. i have not tried the grape seed extract yet, but will definitely look into it. hugs to you too.

this is so hard. i cried all day yesterday worrying about my brother and today i just feel numb. he has cut off all contact with me, my family and his friends. it helps to talk to my friends here at NT. sorry for going on about this and thanks again for listening. i just need to talk sometimes.
p.s. thanks again for being my friends.

Talk away.

We are all here to listen and support each other through all of our ups and downs.

Sending hugs:hug::hug::hug:

Know
 

You already do
We need each other
You already do
Know it
Be well
It cannot be done
Other than
One day at a time
Amen
Love
Me

i don't know where my brother is or if he is okay. i am very worried about him but am trying to keep my faith in God that he is okay. i would welcome any and all prayers from my friends here at NT to help him find his way back home. thank you for listening.

Dear RSD ME
 

thanks so much for all of your prayers. the last time i heard from my brother was about a week ago. he texted me telling me he that no one cares about him and that he is going to disappear never to be seen again. i don't know where he is and haven't for the past few months. i keep trying to call him to tell him that i care but he won't answer my calls or texts. so here i wait hoping and praying that he is okay. it is a horrible feeling not knowing but i am trying to think positive thoughts with the help of my friends here at NT. thank you all again for your kindness, prayers and support. this is very hard and i wouldn't wish it on anyone. i hope i see him again and that he is happy and healthy like the brother i used to know. i hope you all have a peaceful night with sweet dreams.:grouphug:

I will keep you and your brother in my prayers RSD ME. One of the pages in our AL-Anon daily reader talks about wrapping our loved one in a blanket of their choice, a quilt, goose down comforter, or Indian blanket, and handing them over to the care of our higher power. I do find it comforting knowing he is caring for our loved ones. He is always there with them.

There are meetings for AA and Al-Anon on line at Stepchat.com. It is an excellent resource. There is also a chatroom where we share experience, strength and hope 24/7. I know for me having RSD can be so draining it is hard to get to a regular meeting. The Al-Anon literature is a daily part of my life, help is always available at my finger tips.

Take care of you RSD ME. We are the only ones who can take care of us.

peace
zinnia

hi zinnia. thank you so much for your prayers and for your great advice. having prayers and support from my friends here at NT helps me cope better with what life throws my way. i hope you are having a good day and that you are having a low to no pain rsd day today. sending soft hugs and caring thoughts your way my friend.

RSD....
I think zinnia's suggestion to check out Stepchat.com in the area for Al-Anon might be helpful to you in dealing with your brother's choice to remove his family from his life at this time.

It's a choice he has made and I pray he will soon come back to his family where he knows in his heart; there is love.

But until then, you need to allow yourself to find a way to learn how to deal with this. I think Al-Anon would be very helpful. Because of Al-Anon, my cousin found herself better able to accept there was nothing she could do about her son; except of course; prayer. But, Al-Anon did help her deal with it in a way that she was able to not hurt so deeply and better be able to fulfill her daily needs for herself and others. I hope you give it a try. With this site, you would not even have to leave the house.

Praying both for you and your brother.


Gerry

hi everyone. i hope you are all doing well. i'm not doing so good myself right now. my brother just told me that he has hiv. i feel numb with waves of tears. he is still a mess and said he is not happy living the way he is but he can't do anything about it now. i am having trouble breathing. not sure if its a panic attack or something else. anyway i just needed to talk. i pray that he doesnt suffer anymore. hes suffered enough. no one deserves that kind of pain. more prayers for my brother are always welcome. thanks for listening. love to all.
p.s. thank you so much for being my friends. i could not face all this pain without your support. i treasure you all so much.

RSD,
So sorry to learn about your brother's additional issues. The only positive thing is he is in touch with you. Be careful tho, you may be stressing yourself too much.

I will definitely keep both you and your brother in my prayers.


Gerry

thank you for your prayers. i was happy my brother started to speak to me again after almost six months of silence but now he is telling me he is going to stop again. he says that no one cares and he just wants to be alone. i don't know what to do anymore. i am at a loss. my heart is breaking because i do care about him and can't seem to convince him of that. this is so hard. why can't he just let me help him. i don't get it but will keep praying that he will get better. i can't give up hope. i feel like hope is all i have left to give. thanks again for you prayers.

Let him know your love for him is and always has been "unconditional" and you will be there whenever he wants you to be part of his life. It's almost as if he is not ready to make a commitment so it's easier to say he wants to be alone. You are doing all you can to let him know you care. Till then; all you can do is pray and trust God will show him the way.


Gerry

RSD,

Since it's been a while; I have been wondering how things are with your brother? I wish there was some way (other than showing him yours/and our posts) to get through to him how much you really care about him.


Gerry

I would appreciate more prayers for my brother. He has disappeared again and won't take my calls. I hope he is safe and sound. All I can do now is pray that he is. Thanks for listening.

may it be sooner then later you get word he is breathing
we are going through the same situation
asking my boy
if you bring me in your life the least he could do is just let me know he is breathing
we have but our prayers
and hope that this be it
their done
over
yet the pain isn't that great
and we are left to pray it not be devastating
what a terrible evil entity depression
addiction, mental disease so out of control
so many suffering
and how many who are suffering in silence
if i could just leave a thought behind that would never be forgotten
one needs to live it
be it
embrace it
do something about it
know you don't have to go it alone
i wonder what goes through my mother mind
not having her family around her
this by her choice
there was a family same age when taking on her third marriage
my children will call and drop a line
just because
i just wonder
but know you are an awesome sister
awesome
one day at a time
so much can happen in twenty four hours
i hope to remember that more myself
love and prayers
me

Sending prayers for your brother and healing love for your heart. :hug:

RSD,

Pray you will hear from him soon. Please let us know when you do.

Gerry

Thank you so much for all of your prayers. I still haven't heard from my brother yet and still very worried about him so I will keep praying. I know God is watching over him. I hope you all have a day filled with love, joy and peace.

Always willing to pray😄
 

I will pray for your brother😁 what is his first name? (If you don't mind me asking?)

hi everyone. just need to talk a little. still no word from my brother. its been about two and a half months since i or anyone has heard from him. his phones are disconnected and he is homeless and needs to be in a rehab program (imo), but i fear that he is not in one. i fear that he is in trouble or heading down a dangerous road and there is nothing i can do to help him now except pray. i pray every day and leave his fate in God's hands. i have faith that God will watch over him and help him find his way back home again. it may not be on this earth but as long as he is not suffering anymore i will be grateful. i just hope that God will let me know somehow that my brother is finally at peace. praying always for him and am thankful for all of your prayers too.

Hi everyone. I hope you are all doing okay. I just wanted to let you know that a friend of my brother told me that they have met with him and that he is living in a sober living facility in the city and going to therapy! They also told me he has been clean for the past few months! My brother sill doesn't want to talk to me because I told him no when he wanted money from me and has changed his phone number so I cannot contact him anymore. At the time when he asked for money I was afraid he may still be using and I didn't want to enable him. Though I am hurt by the way he is treating me right now, I am so grateful that he is okay and alive and finally getting the help he needs! My prayers have been answered! I know that there is always a chance of relapse but I hope that he won't. He has HIV from his past addiction but is getting meds for it from a dr. So though he still isn't talking to me I am glad he is clean! I wish I knew where his exact address but he told his friend not to tell me. I hope someday he will talk to me again. I will always love him and want to help but don't want to push him. I don't want to disturb his recovery. I will keep praying for him and wanted to thank all of you for ALL of your prayers too! It looks like they have been finally answered! Thank you all so much for you continued support. I could not have been able to deal with this without all of you. Love and hugs to all.

Time
 

This is good news
Time
Just give it time
And take care of you
Holding your hand
In my prayers
Love
Me

RSD,
For now I guess his being sober and trying to improve the quality of his life is first and foremost. Hopefully when he feels strong enough to deal with past hurts, he will be better able to understand why they were in effect and want to make amends with the past.

Will still keep both of you on my prayer list.


Gerry

Hello my friends.

Just needed to talk. It seems that my brother has relapsed. He was doing so well for a few months and even started talking to me again. We met about a month ago and had a nice talk. He looked good. He was happy and positive. He was like the brother I used to know. Now it seems he is spiraling downward again. He was dating someone and they broke up and he seemed to fall apart again. I know the signs all too well after dealing with this nightmare for over two years now. I am so heartbroken and have had to detach with love. I am not able to help him emotionally or physically anymore. All I can do is love him and pray for him. I pray he finds his way back to recovery again. Any prayers from my friends here would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for listening to me rant. I just needed to talk. It hurts so much right now to see him fall apart again. Just have to hold onto to hope.

RSD,
It seems your emotional feelings run deep. Please be assured this is not ranting. I can imagine seeing him looking well and like the brother you use to know had to be difficult to see him go down. The fact that he did, even if only for a while, come back to his old self is good. Brings hope that tho a "down" is back; he knows the way "up" again.

Both of your are on my nightly prayer list.

Gerry

Thank you so much for your kindness and prayers Gerry. It means so much to me. Hoping you are doing well. Thank you again my friend. Your words give me hope.:hug: