You are doing the right thing. Taking care of yourself is okay and very necessary. I know from my sister that this is difficult and sad and I would expect you feel very tender right now. But you are right it is in God's hands. Until your brother is ready for help and change all you can do is remain open enough so he knows you are there. This can be achieved with minimal exposure on your part, a text message on holidays or other occasion to say hello and I love you. I am praying for you both and hope for better days.

Sending extra hugs,

I've had some addiction issues in my life with family members. The Alanon family support groups are short of a miracle to help us get thru it. AA saves so many lives. The person needs to get there.

It's a tough road for Everyone but we need to take care of ourselves foremost.

thanks again to everyone here for your kindness, support and continued prayers. my brother is still not doing well and has pushed me and his friends out of his life now. all i can do is pray and hope he gets help soon. it is very difficult to accept that there is nothing more i can do until he is ready to get the proper help he needs. but there is nothing more i can do. he has blocked me from his phone now so he doesn't have to listen to me tell him he needs help anymore. thanks again for your support and i wish you all a happy and healthy 2016!

hi. my brother is not doing too well and i was wondering if you could all pray for him. i have been trying so hard to help him but feel that i have failed miserably. my heart hurts for him. i keep praying that he will get the help he needs and hope that he can be the happy and healthy brother i once knew.

Your pain felt here
I do not think you are the type
Out of sight out of mind

I am suggesting that You have done everything possible
E v e r y t h i n g P o s s i b l e
It is beyond anybody's control
I am suggesting you need to remove yourself
Not give up
But step back and away
So it doesn't hurt as much
Watching your loved one crumble before you and not able to do anything
Such like where I am with my thirty year old daughter
waiting for her to sober up and be a mother to her daughter
my granddaughter
I know where you are and how it feels
I also have had experience
But I also understand some people
just cannot do it
I love my daughter
And have my granddaughter for most her life
Mom and daughter were together and it was short lived
Maybe mom and daughter at its longest time together is no more
than six months
Oh sweet friend do I know
I had to explain away yesterday
Why mom and dad did not pick her up
They slept till two in the afternoon
This the time she should have been picked up the latest is two
I am sorry
The pain is great
We here for you

thank you eva. your words touched my heart and made me feel less alone in dealing with my brothers addiction. it is good to know others understand the pain i feel right now for him, even though i wouldn't wish this pain on anyone and i am so sorry you are feeling it too with your daughter. i hope and pray everyday that my brother will find his way back to me. i will keep praying that your daughter will do the same for you. and i hope that you and anyone else struggling with a loved one who has an addiction can find some peace in their hearts. reading your beautiful words has given me some peace in mine. i hope that i can offer the same peace to you by letting you know that you are not alone and that i care about you too. thank you again for being my friend.

That's what friends are for
And yes you do not know this but you help me
By sharing your love strength and hope
It S. U. C. K. S.
be well
How lucky he is to have your unconditional love
I hope one day he can see that in you
Love
Me

thanks so much eva. i appreciate your kind words. i hope hat your daughter gets better too and can see how lucky she is to have you in her life. i hope you know how very special you are. love and hugs from me to you.

RSD, I know I've mentioned this before but Alanon for YOU could help ease your pain. Believe me, I've been there. We can't change other people and they have to do it and many do well in LONGER rehabs....and having the desire to live. The Alanon family has so much toughlove and compassion to offer and stories of recovery.

One more comment, this book helped me so much. I read the daily message every night when I was going to bed, without fail...http://www.amazon.com/Life-My-Own-Me.../dp/0894868632

Could any of your family and close friends work on an intervention?

Talking about this is bringing back memories of the wonderful people who took my arm when I got to Alanon and went every Thursday for a long time. I'd still be going but this hip surgery mess has changed my life so negatively. I think I'll email or call a couple people who helped me so much.