Sanctuary for Spiritual Support This "Sanctuary" is a place for people of all spiritual beliefs and faiths to offer support and compassion to each other in the form of prayers, meditation, and expressions of spirituality. This forum is for support, not religious debate.


advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-02-2006, 05:28 PM #1
elle elle is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 21
15 yr Member
elle elle is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 21
15 yr Member
Default horrified and heartbroken after watching the evening news...

Sorry, I really don't know where to post this. I am shocked and horrified after watching a clip on the evening news where a woman in my area has seriously abused a little boy. OMG I am sobbing as I am writing. She is being charged with starving a 12 yr old boy with CP who is wheelchair-bound. Apparently, he was some 22lbs underweight and had been bitten by rats. Rats!

I just can't imagine how awful that must be for him. And it makes me so angry! What is wrong with people that they can be so incompassionate? Abuse of any sort is intolerable, but this is just appalling.

Thanks for letting me vent/share.

>>moved ths from the CP forum, that's not where this belongs. It belongs here where other people can send their positive thoughts towards the little boy who is now safe and getting care in the hospital, and towards the other children who were also removed from this woman's care.
elle is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Old 10-02-2006, 06:12 PM #2
Chemar's Avatar
Chemar Chemar is offline
Administrator
Community Support Team
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 28,521
15 yr Member
Chemar Chemar is offline
Administrator
Community Support Team
Chemar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 28,521
15 yr Member
Unhappy

(((elle)))
I know exactrly how you are feeling because nothing gets to me more than when a child is mistreated in any way

I will be praying for the precious little one, and for the other children too
I only hope the emotional scars will heal with time and loving care.
Chemar is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 10-02-2006, 06:52 PM #3
cybil_who cybil_who is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 114
15 yr Member
cybil_who cybil_who is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 114
15 yr Member
Default

cybil_who is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 10-02-2006, 07:59 PM #4
trekker's Avatar
trekker trekker is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 103
15 yr Member
trekker trekker is offline
Member
trekker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 103
15 yr Member
Default

What I am about to write in no way condones what happened to that child and the other children in her care. As a caregiver though, I am not overly surprised. I will bet that she is from a lower income group, not highly educated, and has no support structure. No mention is made of the husband/boyfriend that fathered the children. Where are the reports of the doctors and other health care people who should be seeing the child regularly? So many, many times caregivers are sent off to care for the sick or disabled with no training, help, or follow up. They struggle along not aware of what types of help are available and the people who should have helped them in the first place let them fall thru the cracks. Unless/until they fall apart or something bad happens that drives them to bring it to someone's attention, the situation continues. Caregivers get overwhelmed, exhausted, depressed, don't eat right, have no time to research their options themselves. Often the doctors are also not aware ( some don't even care) to find out what is there for them. The old idea of "stick them in an institution" still applies for many. Even when their world falls apart, they are too frightened to ask for help...thinking that they will be punished in some way. You try to prioritize but there are only so many hours in the day. If there are any eating issues at all then EVERYTHING has to be put aside to deal with them and that is not always possible. If it takes a caregiver 4 hours per meal to get all the nutrition in then that is 12 hours a day for feeding alone.

I know this because 12 years ago my DH had surgery for kidney cancer. His post surgical care was screwed up but no one wanted to admit it. So, they blamed the resulting problems on him, (post surgical depression/passive aggressive behavior) on me, on our aides. His eating and care issues went on for months, we lost aides because of it, and I finally had a nervous breakdown. It was taking us 10 hours a day just for feedings. I only had 6 hours of help per day for his personal care, laundry, cleaning his room, therapies etc. I was pulling 22 hour days. This was just my DH and myself. We had no children. The gerbils we had didn't get the care they needed but they were fed and watered. The cat was also fed and watered but he got very little attention otherwise. We were getting aides to come in. I was talking to his doctors fairly regularly about the problems. We did have a counselor coming in weekly for sessions and yet no one picked up on the fact that I was in deep deep trouble until the day that the counselor came in to find me on a cot in DH's room, in clothes I had been in for days and crying hysterically. Within an hour, hubby was in the ER being evaluated, I was being swamped by various medical and state investigators asking "What went wrong?". Because it looked like someone else was going to have to care for hubby if I couldn't, everyone got together and found out what help there was for us. Hubby was kept at the hospital, as was I (so I could rest under supervision), and we weren't sent home until things were made somewhat better. BUT that is often what it takes.

My guess is that the clues were there but no one paid any freaking attention. We lived in Detroit for a couple of years, right in the heart of the city, in a residential hotel. This was before DH's aneurysm. There was another residential hotel accross the street and every workday a couple that worked took their elderly handicapped father and placed him outside the building and left him there for the day. No food, water, or shelter. Everyday, people passed him by, including religious professionals, police, fire, ambulance...no one did anything. No one helped. When I wanted to I was told to "mind my own business".
Before you condemn the mother, many questions should be asked. The biggest one being, as a society, are we failing the most helpless among us?
__________________
"Not a day passes over the earth, but men and women of no note do great deeds, speak great words and suffer noble sorrows." ~ Charles Reade })Ï({
trekker is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 10-02-2006, 08:13 PM #5
Julie's Avatar
Julie Julie is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,470
15 yr Member
Julie Julie is offline
Senior Member
Julie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,470
15 yr Member
Default

My prayers are with the helpless little boy and my prayers are that the mom gets what she deserves.
__________________

.
Julie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 10-02-2006, 08:17 PM #6
elle elle is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 21
15 yr Member
elle elle is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 21
15 yr Member
Default

Trekker- you are absolutely right. No mention has been made of the responsibility of the child's parents. Where are they? The woman being charged was not the mother. No mention has been made of why there was no follow up on her care- why there were no regular social workers checking on him, why there was no home medical if he needed it, why there was no community support for this child. The whole thing makes me ill. The fact that here is a child who needs help- here is a family who needs help- and there is no help until someone is horrendously injured. Losing 22 lbs is not something that happens in a fit of anger, overnight or even in a week. Rats do not move in and begin biting children in short periods of time. This is something that has been going for a while.

And yet where is the protection? Where are the resources to help people who are UNABLE to help themselves? I understand how difficult it can be to take care of someone else- I have done it myself. I commend you that you were able to devote your life to taking care of your husband when he needed it and am glad that you were able to find some respite. It seems like all too often the "authorities" are dismissive of situations like these until there are charges of neglect, and THEN they are all too eager to dig up all the ways you were weak.

It makes me very sad to hear about the man who was left alone all day. I just don't understand why the help isn't there BEFORE things get so bad.
elle is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 10-02-2006, 08:20 PM #7
Julie's Avatar
Julie Julie is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,470
15 yr Member
Julie Julie is offline
Senior Member
Julie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,470
15 yr Member
Default

I apologize for assuming it was his mother. I hope the caregiver gets what she deserves.
__________________

.
Julie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 10-02-2006, 08:28 PM #8
elle elle is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 21
15 yr Member
elle elle is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 21
15 yr Member
Default

I think I should add also, this happened not 30 miles from my home. I guess in some ways, I feel responsible- like we have failed this little boy as a community. And that also adds to my sadness.
elle is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 10-03-2006, 08:26 AM #9
Doody's Avatar
Doody Doody is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Iowa
Posts: 4,582
15 yr Member
Doody Doody is offline
Grand Magnate
Doody's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Iowa
Posts: 4,582
15 yr Member
Default

No, Elle, don't blame yourself.

I agree with the others. How things slip through the cracks. If we ourselves didn't arm ourselves with the knowledge we need, we'd fall right through that crack too!

I'm sure some places in America are better than others, but our health care system needs desperate help.

I myself am lucky enough to have a job with medical. But the insurance keeps getting, well, nastier and nastier to the point my own doctor complains to me about it. It makes it difficult to afford to go to the doctor EVEN with medical anymore.

Anyway, off track again. I hope that family gets all the help they need now.
__________________

.


.


.


.


.



.

Bruna - rescued from a Missouri puppy mill
Doody is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 10-03-2006, 09:27 AM #10
Chemar's Avatar
Chemar Chemar is offline
Administrator
Community Support Team
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 28,521
15 yr Member
Chemar Chemar is offline
Administrator
Community Support Team
Chemar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 28,521
15 yr Member
Default

Elle
you HAVE done something.........you have cared enough to bring it to the attention of everyone here and so many prayers are being lifted for that child and the others. There is great power in unity of prayer
Chemar is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:29 PM.

Powered by vBulletin • Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.7.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

NeuroTalk Forums

Helping support those with neurological and related conditions.

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only,
and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment
provided by a qualified health care provider.


Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.