i am asking this because it is all very new to me. i have lived in severe, constant pain for many years as i know a lot of you have. i have several dx's: TOS, FMS, RSD, major depressive disorder... well, the list goes on and on.

a friend of mine has been urging me to go and see a woman here in LA for quite some time now. recently i found myself in between a rock and a hard place - i was thrown into a major flare by one of the nerve blocks my PM doc had been giving me in an effort to buy some time between TOS surgeries - long story short, i was putting off the decision to have a re-do due to some health issues my daughter was having and a potential tx she might have to have that would have possibly made her ill. and i just couldn't see taking myself out of commission with a complete scalenectomy at a time when my kid might need me (even though she's 32, i am a mommy 1st! i know you understand.).

anyway, my friend happened to call in the middle of this and give me the number. again. and i actually called her this time and i did go to see her - she works and lives about four minutes away from my home. her tx's are quite expensive and i am nothing if not a born skeptic, you guys. but i have to say, i liked her immediately. she is about my age and i felt like i had known her all of my life.

very hard to describe what she did on that tx table during the first session. she specializes in trauma and i (without trying to be dramatic here, or going into any detail) will tell you that i have had more than my fair share of trauma in my life. she talked to me and encouraged me to speak of things from my past as she ran her hands over my body and placed them on certain areas. i did not have to tell her very much about my injury or where i was hurting that day...

well, i slept like a baby that night for the first time in days. the flare had FINALLY broken! she snapped that thing in 2, is all i can say. in the shower the next morning i noticed that my brachial plexi, on both sides, were covered with tiny little white blisters (not painful, just little raised bumps), which then went all the way up the R side of my neck. these lasted 2 or 3 days before being reabsorbed into my skin.

the original side of my horrible TOS pain, which struck me out of the clear blue sky circa 1976 (insidious onset, they call it in medical terms...) - was THE RIGHT SIDE. i also was left with a temporary mark, it looked like a beauty mark is the best way i can describe it, about an inch over my collar bone on that side after the very first session . was sad when that left!

to say i was flabbergasted by all this would be an understatement. all the focus for the past few years has been on my left side, as it is my L hand that is badly atrophied from the true neurogenic TOS and that is my surgical side, etc. but the original "injury" and the mind-numbing pain which has never, ever left me hit on the R. and i am not big on "pop" remedies, not a church-goer. don't like labels, even - so i don't even call myself an agnostic. but just not sure about the whole god thing. there, i said it. so many horrible things have happened to me and around me in my life, you know? you don't want to know. but overriding that is more of a engineer/scientist mind i guess. i tend to over-analyze, to want proof of things, well... you know the drill. blind faith just doesn't cut it for the likes of me. or should that be past tense? hmmmmmmmm is right.

This lady trained with rosalyn bruyere and was in the first graduating class of the crucible. she also apprenticed with soracco. her name is mentioned in several places in diane goldner's "How People Heal: Exploring the Scientific Basis of Subtle Energy in Healing," which i just bought and have begun to read this week.

i have only seen this woman 3x now. needless to say i find the role of energy and consciousness in healing extremely interesting. i don't know whether in my case (which is VERY advanced) this intervention will be enough or has come in time to avoid further surgery in order to save my hand(s).

but i sure think there is something here. and i would encourage anyone with an interest to check this out. another book which maria recommended to me is hank wesselman's "Journey to the Sacred Garden," but there is obviously a lot more material out there on this subject.

and a lot of quackery as well. one does have to be careful, as with anything.

i feel really lucky to have found her. she is very hard to get in to see. and i am so grateful to my friend, cornelia, for being so patient over the years with this aging iconoclast. belief is apparently very important to the process of extracting toxic energies embedded in the energy field, so that it can become luminous again (uh, oh!). soul retrieval. very painful stuff ahead, i reckon - but so necessary to recover the essential self. oh, where have i gone!?!?!

sorry if this makes no sense to anyone else. i needed to get it out. haven't even posted about this experience yet on my "home" forum, as i don't know enough about it personally to even relate the subtle energy concepts to TOS. but my gut tells me that, at least in my own case, there is a connection. it does not mean i will stop seeing my regular specialists or anything else. it's another avenue of approach. and it feels very spiritual. that's all.

and if there is someone out there reading who knows what i'm talking about, i would love to hear from you! talk about a babe in the woods...

alison
"Be Brave"