It is the place to be when we are down
and hurting
Oh what am I to do with all this pain and anger
It is so wrenching
A unmovable mountain
is what it is
Climb it I must
I must reach the top
climbing since a child
first born
and all the responsibility and some
having been born into a Hungarian liniage
My children first generation
and now a grandchild
Who has seen more crying than
I ever wanted a child to have to witness
Brings back horrible memories
sure ask me why dwell on the past
Because it has come full circle
My father committed suiside
My uncle committed suiside
Alcohol ramped in my family in Europe
On both sides
I ill with the disease called alcoholism
I CANNOT DRINK
I have lost my privilege
It truely is cunning
23 years this year
My reason for living
Haven't figured it out yet
My second surgery did me in
My breast surgery botched
My hospital experience both times
UNIMAGINABLE THIS I KID NO ONE
and when so much failure in the procedures
For my surgeon not acknowledge it after second
surgery deny my disturbing swell I developed
came in the morning
drained my surgery site
sent me on my merry way
only for it to swell so badly
I was an animal
screaming in pain

Wanting to be held to feel the flannel shirt
where is it
where did it go
I cannot smell the Love
indescribable to anyone
yet when we feel it and smell it
Ohhh what a feeling
when giving oneself completely
I ask for prayers that I can fight this
horrible depression that has set in without
my consent
hanging on as I have no option
I became responsible court ordered
of my granddaughter
Prayers all around
Love
Me

I think of God and thank him, whenever I see a gorgeous sunrise/sunset, those clouds with the bright sunlit edges and the sun streaming out from behind them, the power and beauty of the ocean....
pretty much all the various awesome scenery in nature and weather..

I agree wholeheartedly. I am lucky to live in a tiny village surrounded by Yorkshire countryside just 8 miles from the sea. When I was able my favourite place was a seaside clifftop sanctuary for Puffins, Gannets, etc. Of all my conditions, the damage to my brain affecting my eyesight - and not knowing whether it will happen again - is the most upsetting.

Dave.

Eva,
Look into those "beautiful" dark eyes of little Eva; You will see Jesus in them. He knew you were needed to care for her. '

I pray your depression will soon be lessened and the smile, instead of tears, will return for your family to see. You are a strong women.


Gerry

So difficult my dear friend
She does make my day
I do look in her eyes and see
Him I am in a truly Spiritual
place looking into them
but then you know it
Oh sweet lady why
your in a very terrible way
also not able to be elsewhere
for a extended amount of time
As it to applies to me in a different way
my head becomes to heavy to carry
my shoulders arms hands feet neck
and lower back just to mention a few
everyday pain
My Spirit on a roller coaster ride
to hell or so it feels so
the lump in my throat always
It's got to stop sometime
Sweet Brother
Hear our prayers
Love
Me

You see God today
Wrapping soft flannel shirt arms of love around you
It's fragrance comfortably familiar and sweet
To the point you "let yourself go" in that precious moment of
I Love You
Experienced in a way undeniably real to you
Take solace
Rest a moment
Know the peace and overwhelming joy
It is yours

m56

Please come to me
I need your Love
I want to feel your Love
Can I be blessed to feel you in my heart
In my gut in my mind in my everyday
Love
Me

In a heart that is open and welcoming; the Holy Spirit will come inside.
I pray you will feel His Presence.


Gerry

Devine intervention
that even my children can
witness and experience
What a glorious feeling to
experience
happiness, calm and the feeling
it is out of your control
Devine intervention on a daily basis
is always present
and that because it is at different levels
Hence
Life being a roller coaster of a ride
And I look at my life
and know this is Gods plan
and that we are protected
By Him
Prayers I always welcome
How could it hurt
To get tiny snippets of happiness

So I do my hard crying in the shower
After a bout
And her settling herself on the toilet seat
And I am drying myself
Towel in face still with the water works
And she proceeded to tell me how she expects
to see a smile on my face
Still with the towel in face
I feel a smile on my face and in my heart
I pull the towel from my face with what I thaught
had a smile on it
And the next thing she says is
Oh come on
You can do better than that
I will never forget this tiny snippet
Ever
I so love my children and grandchild
It too comes with large situations
problems that are continuous and
all I can do is pray and just DO
Me