FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Today's Posts |
|
Sanctuary for Spiritual Support This "Sanctuary" is a place for people of all spiritual beliefs and faiths to offer support and compassion to each other in the form of prayers, meditation, and expressions of spirituality. This forum is for support, not religious debate. |
Reply |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
06-11-2008, 08:56 PM | #1 | |||
|
||||
Member
|
As a mother of 2 adult sons, why does it sometimes become so difficult for us to let them do things their OWN way??
When I see one son with his live in girlfriend of 7 yrs (dang what's wrong with these boys why can't they become engaged!!), and I hear him tell of their parties..see the bottles of rum, vodka still sitting on the counter in the midst of packing items for a move (like they've been used earlier that day while packing other items), I begin to visually see my son as an alcoholic. It angers me that the girlfriend smokes, but if this is their only "faults" so to speak...it's them that will someday have to answer to God! The older son is the one recovering from recent chemo...I just sit back and think at times "what more could it take other than cancer to get him to wake up" ?? I see him going out to eat sometimes 4 nites a wk instead of the girlfriend fixing a meal at home, I see the house not cleaned the way it should be, the lack of exercising...it all just irritates my mind. I need to cut the apron strings so to speak and let them both live their lives and be happy that they've got girls that are loving to them, and hubby and I dearly love BOTH of the girlfriends. Taking it all to our Lord in Prayers is sometimes difficult when we realize that HE is the one in charge..not us Moms!!! LOL Blessings to all, Marilyn
__________________
. We are friends for a reason. Sometimes we don't know why until we've been friends for a long time !!! Take time to laugh, it's music to the soul. . __________________________ Those who dwell among the beauty and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life. Rachel Carson . |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: |
06-12-2008, 11:36 AM | #2 | ||
|
|||
----
|
((Marilyn))
I know what you mean. That's all you can do now. I asked my ONLY child not to go chasing waterfalls. He's somewhere out walking in the desert dressed up like a 12-point buck. I can't guarantee an angry young boy won't sneak up on him and try to prove his "manhood" by killing my son. There's nothing I can do to prevent my son from dying. |
||
Reply With Quote |
06-12-2008, 11:52 AM | #3 | |||
|
||||
Wise Elder
|
Oh how I know what you mean. Mine are both in college and there are times I find myself lecturing to closed ears. They are wonderful sweet boys but eager to do things on their own. But, the good news is they know where to come if needed. Our challenge is to know when to turn them away to fly with their own wings and when to help pick them up. For me, that's the hardest thing.
__________________
. . A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she's in hot water. Eleanor Roosevelt |
|||
Reply With Quote |
06-12-2008, 12:15 PM | #4 | |||
|
||||
Grand Magnate
|
Yes, it is so difficult to watch the ones we love best, not reach their full potential (as perceived by us, anyway).
When my DD18 dropped out of school and "joined the circus" (she actually was a salesman with one of those traveling outfits that go door-to-door), I knew she was not safe. She did have a boyfriend who, after 4 years, got her pregnant. He told her to "Go home and die." For the years leading up to that day I feared that when she finally did come home, it would be in a body bag. The pregnancy was rough b/c the baby had gastroschisis (hole in the abdomen). Dr. said he'd recommend termination. She kept him and he is a bright and cute little 9yo now. Happily, she married (met on eHarmony) and they just had her 3rd child. Through the years I (like you and most good parents) spent a lot of time worrying about my four kids and their poor choices: drugs, cigarettes, liquor, tattoos, dropping out of school, divorces, children out of wedlock, etc. etc., but they've finally settled into married life and are good providers, parents and spouses. The best advice I ever got? I went to a clergyman and rattled on and on how my son would go to jail if I didn't intervene, blah blah blah. He just sat there and smiled. When I finally shutup and asked him what to do, he gave me the words of advice that I would keep leaning on: "Just love 'em." I did and I do. Just love 'em. I backed off and let them make their mistakes and learn from them, just like I was allowed to do when I was a young person. Well, didn't mean to use up all the thread here, but just wanted to reassure you that, though we worry about them, kids usually turn out just fine. Your loving the girlfriends is definitely cause for celebration! Everything will work out, you'll see. You've given me an idea, Corkybird. Going to start a "best advice you ever got" thread. Thanks and best wishes to you and your family.
__________________
Rochelle . . I've lost my mind ... and I don't miss it! LIFE HAS NO REMOTE -- GET UP AND CHANGE IT YOURSELF! |
|||
Reply With Quote |
06-12-2008, 12:23 PM | #5 | |||
|
||||
Administrator
Community Support Team
|
(((Corky)))
we have to 'let go' and trust God that the foundation we have laid with His help will be firm on the Rock never forget....God IS faithful and He never lets us go, nomatter where we may wander I love this song by Mark Harris... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3lmooWI8n0 Quote:
__________________
~Chemar~ * . * . These forums are for mutual support and information sharing only. The forums are not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here. |
|||
Reply With Quote |
06-12-2008, 04:24 PM | #6 | |||
|
||||
In Remembrance
|
That was beautiful, Cheri. You know, it's funny but I was reading about this just the other day. Jesus said that when He came to earth, he brought with Him a sword, and would use it to cleave father from son, and mother from daughter. The same with other relatives. And the message was that we are all children of God, and not of each other. My parents may have created my physical body, and taught me how to live, but God creqted my soul, and that's the only part of me which will really last.
I don't know what it will be like if I ever do make it to Heaven, but common sense tells me that God will be my only Father there. The relationships which we have here on earth cannot be the same. What about people who have lost a spouse and remarried? Would they have two spouses in Heaven? Of course not. I don't know exactly how it works, but I think it's safe for me to say that ultimately we are all God's children, and that will always be our closest relationship. |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | Corkybird (06-12-2008) |
06-12-2008, 04:29 PM | #7 | |||
|
||||
Member
|
Allowing the baby birds to use their own wings, leave the nest...and fly under their own power. Some take off to great heights, others fall to the ground. But we, as parents...pick them up, give them a hug, reassure them that they CAN do it on their own...then set them on their way again.
I should, and I AM thankful for many, many things that the sons have done good with their lives, like stick with college to get their degrees and have excellent careers...one as an architect, the other as a civil engineer. They care about both of us parents and appreciate the little things that we do for them. Be thankful for what we've got is the message that the Holy Spirit is sending to me today, after a night full of many prayers after beginning this thread yesterday. Thanks be to all you great friends, and...... Thanks Be to God!! Marilyn
__________________
. We are friends for a reason. Sometimes we don't know why until we've been friends for a long time !!! Take time to laugh, it's music to the soul. . __________________________ Those who dwell among the beauty and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life. Rachel Carson . |
|||
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|
|