In another thread, I said I was worried about attending the wake/funeral of my friend's brother. I decided to tell my friend if anyone said anything off-color about me, it could be a joke just between us - a way to weed out the shallow folks and laugh at their ignorance about me.

However, something else worried me - orthostatic hypotension. It's gotten pretty bad. I would feel completely humiliated if I fainted during the wake/funeral - takes a lot of standing. If I were to faint, the focus would shift from Gary to me. I'd be angry if I took anything away from him - or her - on that day.

When I mentioned my attire and joke, she was surprised that I'd be attending. She said it wasn't necessary because she already knows how much I care for her and Gary. She already knows if she needed my physical presence, I'd crawl to her if I had to in order to be by her side.

I've spent a lot of time with her on the phone, and she's emailed me some really heart-felt thoughts about her big brother. One memory in particular I'd like to share with all of you.

She has an old home movie when she was 4 and Gary was 5. She was wearing a heart-shaped locket around her neck, but had the locket in her mouth. Gary took the locket out of her mouth, kissed her on the cheek, then placed it back in her mouth.

The bond they shared was as strong as it comes. They gave each other the freedom live their lives and make their own mistakes - but they never turned their backs on each other. They'd be there for each other when one of them needed a kiss on the cheek.

His wife said he asked to be buried face down - so typical of Gary to request the world to kiss his butt good-bye.

Today is his wake, tomorrow the funeral. On Halloween, his absolute favorite holiday. Neither one ever had any children, but the younger sibling has two adopted children. After the funeral, they'll be taking the kids out trick-or-treating and give them the best Halloween ever. Gary would love that - a perfect way to honor him.

Have a safe journey, Gary, and thanks for all the good times when I was a wild-eyed teenager. You had too much love inside you for me to ever kiss your butt good-bye. You'll always be remembered and loved.

(((Kathy)))

that was a treat to read
made a sad occasion happy.......

I pray for your friend cos it sounds like she will really miss Gary, but I am so glad that she (and you) have these special memories of him

Rest in peace Gary!

{{{{{{{{{{{{Kathy}}}}}}}}}}}}

hi kathy sorry your friend died

how are you?