Well as you can see I survived the weekend away with the family and dog. I must admit I'm very glad it is over. The weekend had its good moments but I'm still glad to be home.

DH thinks the birthday muffins were DD's idea and I'm just letting him keep thinking that.

In some ways taking the dog along went better than I expected and in some ways it was worse. Sadly I don't think we will have the dog a week from now. She bit DH over the weekend. Not enough to draw blood I don't think but still he is livid that it happened. I think way too much was expected of the dog and she just reached a breaking point of sorts. Virtually nothing was like what she is used to, she spent a lot of time in a small cage, we took her to a very crowded amusement park for hours at a time two days in a row (she's not well socialized), and since nothing felt "normal" to her she wasn't eating much.

I don't know what is going to happen with counseling. DH asked me on the way home if I had made a decision there and I said no, then asked if he had. (I had made a decision then reversed it, then found myself sitting squarely on the don't know fence again.) He said he was waiting for me to decide and that he really didn't care one way or the other. I'm sure whatever I decide will get twisted in such a way as to make DH look like a saint and me a horse's rear end. Been there, done that, got a drawer full of T-shirts for proof.

I have a mountain of work to do and sitting here is getting nothing done fast.

And now for today's episode of As My Life Spirals Downward...

Yesterday I called our pastor and told him I needed more time to think about his offer to counsel me/ us. Last night DH told me he would try one or two sessions alone and go from there. It would be nothing short of a miracle if he agreed to a third session. As for me, this bit of news from DH just added to the variables for me. I'm taking a wait a see approach for myself. I highly doubt DH will agree to a third session. Knowing what happens there would help me with my dilemma.

So I guess it is pray for a DH miracle and that I somehow manage to keep what little bit of sanity I have left while I wait to see how it plays out with DH. I'm certainly not gonna hold my breath on this turning out well. In fact, if I was a betting person I would bet my second to last buck on this turning into a full blown train wreck with divorce papers following rapidly.

Aw, Weave, I'm sorry this has been such a rough ride. Keep the faith, things will become more clear to you. I'll keep praying on it.

The speed of my marriage's downward spiral has increased to break neck down a steep slope speed.

I really don't know what to say, Weave~ But, I am keeping you and your kids in my thoughts and prayers I am so sorry you are having to go through so much indecision and stress.

take care and sending

Weave, Take care of yourself at this point. It's time to start putting yourself first and let the rest fall where it may. You can't control him but you can control how you react and what you do. This is causing so much stress on you and that is not good for your health. How are the kids doing with all this going on?

DH has picked up the move out (to the basement) pace and I have done the same with packing. Thanks for your continued kind words. I am surviving. Some moments better than others.

......long distance hug...............
we have so many friends here at neuro talk
to not be there or to support, i shall not balk
there is a certain someone, she is some bad pain
its not from an injury or because its gonna rain
her heart is sad, screaming why am I so blue
these feelings, one was so sure of,thought to be true
if I could reach out and hug her, i would, with no regret
to help ease one speck of pain, but I cant as of yet
so I take my scribe in hand to let her know
many of us feel bad and would love to show
your pain is real and for this I am sad
not being able to do more, i become mad
so my scribe me and these thoughts so true
reach out to touch and try to support you
many of us know how confusing it can be
remember you have many friends, hope this you see
we are here to help you out in every way
and shall be here for you each and every day
you're not alone as you wipe the tears on your sleeve
my hugs, love and support go out to you my friend, Weave


Weave you do not have to lurk, ever

Breathing, kicking, thinking.

Weave
I am so sad you are hurting so

what I dont understand tho is why, especially if your husband was willing to try, you did not go to the pastor for at least an attempt at working something out?

I know I am just an outsider with absolutely no insight into your life, but it puzzles me that you dont seem to even want to try to salvage the marriage. Is it that you have decided there is no hope?

please forgive me being forthright, but I am going to just say again that with God ALL things are possible and there is ALWAYS hope if we hand things fully to Him

I really hope you will consider the mediation one more time. A saved marriage can sometimes turn into something so precious