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Sanctuary for Spiritual Support This "Sanctuary" is a place for people of all spiritual beliefs and faiths to offer support and compassion to each other in the form of prayers, meditation, and expressions of spirituality. This forum is for support, not religious debate. |
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01-28-2009, 05:06 AM | #1 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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I assigned the trigger icon because this post goes into detail about my Dad's cancer and current condition.
Dad is 95 and was dxd (because of swelling in his armpit) with lymphoma 2 months ago. The cancer doc assured us that it was a slow-moving type. Dad declined the weekly Rituxan infusions. The doc supported that decision. So, with the encouragement of my 2nd brother (who lives 100 miles away and promised to stay in touch with Dad) I went ahead with my vacation plans and was gone from Dec. 31st to Jan. 11th. We got back at 3 a.m., so I slept in, then called Dad. No answer. Called and called, but still no answer. I had spoken to him from the airport the day before, so I knew he didn't have plans to go anywhere. When I arrived around noon, he was lying on the kitchen floor, unable to get up. He'd been in that predicament for 3 hours. I got him to a seated position, leaned up against the refrigerator, then called for help. That was 2 weeks + 2 days ago. I've been living at Dad's house since then to care for him. I'm not much of a nurse, but Hospice is a huge help. Before I left, I tried to introduce Dad to "Citizen Kane", but he insisted he didn't need a cane. He fell down while I was gone and my daughter encouraged him to use a walker that we already had. Two weeks ago he could use the walker to go from his TV chair to his bedroom. Dad just lies in bed now and I take him occasional drinks and soft foods when he wakes. He's too weak to even bring himself to a sitting position w/o help. Fortunately, his pain level is much better than you'd expect for someone who has cancerous lymph nodes "too numerous to count." And they are HUGE! Cup your hand slightly and put it over your heart. That's the size of one of his swelled areas. There are others, plus the ones that are hidden from view that make his breathing labored and cause issues with his bowels and swallowing. The Hospice nurse said a week ago that she only gave him 1 more week. We had considered putting him in a nursing facility, but he would have HATED it! I think Dad keeps hanging on because my oldest brother and his wife arrive tomorrow from Texas. Bless his heart, he's sure been through a lot in a short amount of time. I am writing this to unburden myself and ask for your support. I haven't done it before because I just barely got internet service here at Dad's place. It's time for my dear Dad to go. I pray I'm not alone in the house with him when he does. He's lived a good long life and I'm surely going to miss him. Mom passed away over 2 years ago, so I imagine she'll be there to greet him. I'm thankful that he hasn't had to linger on for weeks/months in agony. Thanks, friends, for letting me unload. I appreciate your prayers -- they bring me a sense of warmth and comfort.
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Rochelle . . I've lost my mind ... and I don't miss it! LIFE HAS NO REMOTE -- GET UP AND CHANGE IT YOURSELF! |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | AZjanie (02-07-2009), barb02 (02-04-2009), Bets (01-28-2009), Blessings2You (01-28-2009), CayoKay (01-28-2009), Darlene (01-29-2009), DiMarie (01-29-2009), DM (01-28-2009), Doody (02-05-2009), doxiemama (01-28-2009), ewizabeth (01-28-2009), GmaSue (01-28-2009), hollym (02-06-2009), Jomar (01-29-2009), mistiis (01-29-2009), pono (01-28-2009), SandyC (01-28-2009), tamiloo (02-07-2009), tkrik (01-28-2009), weegot5kiz (02-02-2009) |
01-28-2009, 05:47 AM | #2 | |||
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Member
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((((Twink))))) Praying that you and your Dad and family will share precious last moments and rest peacefully in the loving Arms of God. You are a good daughter to help him have his wish to be at home and to be there for him.
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"Thanks for this!" says: | mistiis (01-29-2009), Twinkletoes (01-28-2009) |
01-28-2009, 06:20 AM | #3 | |||
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Elder
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One of the best gifts God has given me was when He allowed me to be with Dad and hold him in my arms, telling him I loved him, as he slipped into eternity.
He, too, was on hospice care here in our home. I had been sleeping in the chair in their room for the last couple of nights, and for some reason, I woke right up around 4:30 and was able to spend those last few moments with him. It was a very precious time. I will be praying for you, your Dad, and the rest of your family.
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* * * **My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:26) |
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01-28-2009, 06:26 AM | #4 | |||
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Legendary
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Oh Heck Twink...... I don't know what to say!
Please know that you'll always be in my heart, and in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you my love........
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Eastern Australian Daylight Savings Time and my temperature . |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | mistiis (01-29-2009), Twinkletoes (01-28-2009) |
01-28-2009, 06:33 AM | #5 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Oh, Twink.....I'm so sorry. Please know that both of you are in my thoughts and prayers.
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These forums are for mutual support and information sharing only. The forums are not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here. |
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01-28-2009, 07:33 AM | #6 | |||
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Fabulous Belizean Member
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it's a burden we share, Rochelle, so... I am here for you.
ten years ago, I was privileged to be at my mom's side, holding her hand, and loving her as she left this mortal coil. we did hospice at her home, my sister and I, as mom had small-cell lung cancer, and by the time they found it, it was too late for chemo or radiation. I am grateful that I was able to ease her passage to the hereafter. I will be praying for your father to have an easy transition to heaven, and for you especially, to be surrounded by love and assistance in your time of need.
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And the trouble is... if you don't risk anything, you risk even more. - Erica Jong |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | doxiemama (01-28-2009), GmaSue (01-28-2009), mistiis (01-29-2009), pono (01-28-2009), Twinkletoes (01-28-2009) |
01-29-2009, 02:58 AM | #7 | |||
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Magnate
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Quote:
Twinkel, I saw this quote a few days ago and thought ofyou and how lose you are to your Dad. Blessings words made me recall the special impact they made on me when my own Dad passed. I was there until the last two hours and I think he waited until I did leave... But I remember looking in his eyes and realizing for the very first time in my life that I had my Fathers Eyes, Love, Hugs and suportive prayers to you and here is the quote. Di "Daddy, my first breath was in your arms, and your last breath was in mine."
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. Pocono area, PA . . . |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | mistiis (01-29-2009), Twinkletoes (01-29-2009) |
01-29-2009, 09:19 AM | #8 | |||
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Wise Elder
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(((Twink))) - Keeping you all in my prayers. I hope you got a well deserved good nights rest last night.
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"Thanks for this!" says: | mistiis (01-29-2009), Twinkletoes (01-29-2009) |
01-29-2009, 10:53 AM | #9 | |||
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Fabulous Belizean Member
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holding you close in my heart Rochelle.
praying for calm, serenity, and a peaceful heart, to guide you through this painful time. stay strong, my friend.
__________________
And the trouble is... if you don't risk anything, you risk even more. - Erica Jong |
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01-28-2009, 03:40 PM | #10 | ||
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Yappiest Elder Member
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((((((((Twink & Dad))))))))
I have been through the hospice stuff with my brother. I am so glad they are being helpful. Ours were not. You will cherrish the memories of your last days/weeks. There will be bright spots. Words spoken that wouldn't happen in another setting. They will be tough. Some of the hardest days you have had. You are a special daughter. We are all here for you Ro. Many prayers and hugs.
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"Thanks for this!" says: | CayoKay (01-29-2009), doxiemama (01-28-2009), mistiis (01-29-2009), pono (01-28-2009), Twinkletoes (01-28-2009) |
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