Well, it seems as though the meds are working even better now. With the higher dosage that is. I'm feeling pretty grounded. I can see things clearer. And know that what I thought was going on with my family hateing me, was not reality. I know that they all love and support me 100%. This is a very important realization for me because I love them so much, and am abolutely, whole-heartedly, devoted to them. I always have been. And I miss them alot. We haven't been spending really very much, if any time together at all lately. I guess everyone's just busy. And it is winter. Can't really get out and do much now because of all the snow and such. Still, miss them alot though. And now, I'm not seeing EVERY word said to me as an insult anymore. I can see good intentions. I am still under some duress though. With the relationship with my husband. But that is the only relationship that is bothering me now. And things will get all worked out for the best. I know that because I am finally in some sort of control in my own life. I have begun to live my life for me. For my happiness. There are obstacles to overcome, but they will be overcome. And FINALLY I have some self- esteem. And you know what I realized? Although others can boost your self-esteem, you ultimately are in control of how you feel about yourself. So now, I feel beautiful, inside, and out. FINALLY!!! Boy! That was a LONG time coming!!!

That's all for now-
-Cgirl-

That sounds wonderful to be doing so good! I hope it stays that way for you. What medication are you on? I'm on Zyprexa. Have you gained a lot of weight?

I was on zyprexa for 18 mo. and in that amount of time, I gained 160 lbs! I have since, lost 70 lbs. but it has taken a long time, and a lot of hard work to lose that much. I'm still trying to lose the other 90. Get off of it as soon as you can! I take Risperdal now, and it does not cause near as much weight gain as zyprexa. To be honest, everyone I have spoken to that took zyprexa did not gain less than 65 lbs. and that was only 1 person! Most people I talked to gained at least 90 lbs.! The medicine works really well, but that side effect is atrocious!

-Cgirl-

Thanks, that was helpful info I took Risperdal untill I lied about side effects. I am trying to get off it now as well as see my old doctors and get back into school. WHAT A MESS!

i hope the meds still work and you feel better

theres no reason to be afraid