Golden
 

We love our hills, having grown up among them. Golden is our home.

I do understand the insider notion of naming devices. We owe thanks to BMW and Calewark.

Yeah, that raised seat can be a "comfort" in recovery, especially if abdominal and leg strength is not optimal.

:hug:z
Mark56:)

Helloooooo !
 

Congrats on the surgery date Fiona!!
Good Lord have mercy I feel like I've been a million miles away! :hug:

My laptop at home is in repair, so the only way I can get on here is at my office. I couldn't WAIT to get on here to see how everyone is doing!!

And knowing you are gonna have "TWINS" is absolutely amazing!!
See, i actually DO have twins ! (Human twins!) So, I'd love to help you with some suggestions for names~! :o
I actually haven't even named MY SCS yet and my surgery was over 4 months ago.

Anyway, my husband likes to refer to our twin boys as "Oops" and "Boo Boo" !
ha hahahaha! can you believe that!!

I'm so relieved to see that your husband will be with you after surgery!

Do you have one of those 'reacher/grabber' things? Those things are amazing! I'd highly recommend getting one to have nearby!
I used mine quite a bit!

The excitement around here is mounting!! I love being a part of this wonderful caring family!!

And prunes. :rolleyes:
If you get competely sick of them, maybe just do the suppository thing.
The do work pretty good....
TTYS!
Rae
:hug:

Hi Fiona!
 

Hello there, Fiona!! Your date is nearing, and I write to send prayers of encouragement your way as waiting patiently becomes difficult. Your time approaches, and you have probably been in dither getting necessary tests and the like out of the way as surgery nears. This time will fly by, and soon you will be writing of your Twins functioning to arrest your pain. I can hardly wait to learn of the completion of your procedures and those first surges of electrical signals which will bring relief to you.:Dancing-Chilli::Dancing-Chilli:

You are in my prayers,:smileypray:
Mark56:)

ahh your the one having the twins implanted opps I am sorry ..forgive my mix up on Mark's thread ,I corrected myself BMW is tired and combatt8ng some pain sorry . I am saying prayers and am doing a count down I have a few count downs I am doing for stimulator implants so confusion and mix ups are bound to happen with me ... it is just a Tina thing sorry. forgive and I hope you feel my prayers and positive thoughts Fiona !!
http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/m...SSIC/Burst.gif
BMW
...Tina

Thanks for all your prayers. Haven't been on in a few days as I'm really hurting and am somewhat depressed right now. Saw my PCP and talked to him about my surgery and he was asking why the surgery date was so far off. I had to tell him I didn't know and that was the date I was given. Was hard not to break down and start crying as I'm really struggling, trying to keep a good attitude here. I know the Lord's timing is perfect and that's all I have to hang on to right now as I could easily get stuck in "bummerland". Also, I remind myself of how good I felt through the two trials.

Just gets old, hurting so bad all the time. Have had to increase my dilaudid from 3 a day, to 5 or 6 a day, which my PCP isn't too happy with. He's worried I'll be addicted to it when this is all over with, but I don't think so. I didn't miss the dilaudid one bit when I was on the trials...in fact, I loved not having to take it as I don't like the lethargy and fatigue it gives me. I asked him for some Toradol or Prednisone, 'cuz that seems to really help, but he says it hasn't been long enough time since he last gave me some. He said he doesn't want me to get osteoarthritis, etc. Was hard not to get angry and frustrated with him, as I was really hurting.

Forty more days. Seems like it's taking forever to get here. Need some encouragement, please :Sob:

Time Passage So Hard
 

Hi Fiona- It really is difficult to wait for Implant Day to arrive. I remember the day we removed the Trial Leads and I was telling the docs I so wanted them to just leave them in until the permanent. PLEADING to have the relief from pain restored. SOON. Yesterday did not seem early enough.:mf_argue:
Well, I did not actually argue with them, just stressed my point.

So my Boston Sci rep speculated that since my trial had gone so well they would probably get me in to the permanent implant procedure in a couple of weeks. You know from my story a couple of weeks turned into another and another and still another. At long last.... LONG LAST, the day arrived. The hurting between Trial and Permanent seemed inhuman, over the top, delay I could not understand.:icon_confused:

Of course, infection from the Trial phase had to be fully healed. More hoops to jump. Additional tests to complete. Appointments with the doctor I truly did not understand since they KNEW full well I was prepared. Still, the process, the procedure, the rules and approvals all had to line up kind of "Grand Alignement of the Planets" style. :icon_confused: Before I knew it, FIVE WEEKS HAD PASSED. I lay on the bed in Pre-Op where it took three tries to find a cooperative vein for the IV. It was a happening thing.

Your days will pass. Before you know it, as with me, you will be wearing one of those silly one size fits all [PUH-LEEZ] gowns that are open to the back and the next turn will be yours. You will even manage a laugh or two. I did. Especially when I just HAD to go to the bathroom after they got the IV running. Oh Boy, did I have to go...... so, up from the bed, Grab the Gown from behind, discretion, you know, and to the Restroom I went. Ahhh. That taken care of, I was coming back to my Pre-Op bed, trying to hold my gown discreetly from behind and my little Pre-Op area was FULL of PEOPLE! There I was, flashing folks from our church as I tried in vain to resume the position on the bed so they could pray over me!!! Oh, well, a little flash of the pastor from time to time gives one perspective.:blush::Tip-Hat:

We prayed. The doc said "Time to GO!" And off I went to the OR. Time had passed. My turn was next. More PAIN was coming, a good kind of pain from surgery to implant the works of PJ, and there I was, BOOM, in recovery, trying to tell them my name. Cleo, my wife, said they had a hard time bringing me around. I reckon I liked that place where I was. It was peaceful.

Next I knew I was awake and taking an ice chip, then two. Life was good.:)

Your time is soon Fiona. You are going to be there, and even just in spriit I will be there alongside you praying you through your procedure for the Twins. Your Pre-Op will be crowded with all of us from NeuroTalk. :smileypray::circlelove: You have no choice. Hope you do a better job of holding your gown together than I did! :icon_redface: These days intervening will seem to draw on and on, but we are praying for you now. You can do this. You have come this far, and there is just a little more calendar remaining between you and the Twins. WOW! Won;t it be cool joining the Bionic Butt club as either Pooh, KZLRogue, or Rae styled it? Maybe we should get bumper stickers or shirts or something.:Dancing-Chilli::Dancing-Chilli:

Soon, Fiona, Soon, and God is watching over you, I know,:smileypray:
Mark56 PJ :)

The BUTTBUZZ SUPERHERO's to the RESCUE !! http://dl2.glitter-graphics.net/pub/...i28oqj9qju.gif

I'm SO glad Mark posted B4 i did, Fiona, cuz he has a much smoother approach and can help 'talk us through' these tough days with a soft touch....
I get downright PIST !! :mad: ESPECIALLY at the Dr's who stare right thru us as we sit in their office practically in tears because of our pain conditions....and WHAT do they want to center in on????!! making us feel like lowlife drugseeking panzies! omg i get angry.
One of my Drs ALWAYS focused on the pain meds and wanted to sit there using up all of our precious 15 minutes giving me the runaround regarding the pain meds! Oh Rae, bla bla you'll end up in rehab bla bla.....
you pompus SOB! THere is a REASON for strong pain meds!!!! And proven statistics everywhere show that only a very VERY small percent of legitimate chronic pain sufferers actually become addicted. And after so many years of battling our conditions, THIS shouldn't even BE an issue, ESPECIALLY when we are taking the steps to get the @#%&* SCS!!!
There is NO Reason you should have to sit there fighting back tears! That Dr should have bent over BACKwards to try and make you more comfortable while you wait this out.
I'm so sorry you're feeling down, Fiona......:( ...and i know it isn't helping one bit for me to go off like this, but i really do get up in arms when someone I care about is suffering like this and something COULD potentially be done about it.....but NO....
I hate that feeling. It's a helpless feeling! It's like being a window of glass as the Dr stares right through us....NOT hearing or seeing the pain in our eyes! They really DO become complacent.
There are a few lucky patients out there who DO have Dr's who will prescribe according to the level of pain being described. But for the most part, and I've seen it time and time again, patients having to suffer (almost to the brink of suicidal) needlessly. ALL it would take is to up the dose or modify whatever works to help bide the time until the surgery date.

I'm beginning to see clearly that the 'hardest' part of getting the implant is the waiting. The time between getting the trial out and the permanent in is the hardest to get thru.
I had to wait 6 wks as the 'standard' time to heal from the trial procedure. But i have heard of a lucky few whose Dr's went ahead and did the permanent as soon as it was evident that it was going to work.

For what it's worth, just keep reminding yourself that, like Mark, the date WILL arrive and you DO have a good future.
I just hate to see the suffering. It can literally drive a person mad.

Do whatever you can to get thru this waiting. We know how strong you are. But if venting helps, then VENT all you want. It would be my hope that maybe the medical personnel would become a bit more enlightened on what it is really like to have to be in this type of pain. Maybe by some miracle, a pain specialist would actually come across these posts and be a bit more empathetic to what it's like to be on this end of the stick.

Your Peeps are here
Always
Rae
:hug:

Fiona,

You are not alone with your waiting and your frustrations...it just plain sucks that you have to wait for something that you know will help you! I had my trial and waited 3 1/2 months before I had the implant due to insurance, work, and financial reasons....what people neglect to think about is the actual patient who is in pain and needs this relief fast. What broke the camels back (pun intended) for me was that I had a date scheduled and the week before my Dr cancelled it because she decided to go on vacation so I had to postpone it to the next week. Talk about an emotional rollercoaster! How dare she go on vacation when I was in pain and ready for this surgery!!

BUT I had to remember in the grand scheme of things, would one more week truly "kill" me? (Or for that matter after the trial, I had to wait 3 1/2 months.) Yes, at times it did feel that way but I had to look back on my journey and all that I had endured. What I learned the most from my pain, tears, anger, sadness, and craziness of my pre-SCS journey was realizing that I was a strong person behind the pain. You, my friend, are a strong person!! Look at all you have had to endure to this point. Your surgery date will be here before you know it. You'll be smiling to yourself as you get out of your hospital bed because you'll remember Mark's story of flashing his pastor....someone will say something and it'll remind you of Rae's silly pictures on one of her posts.....you'll all of a sudden realize you don't have pain......and life will be good!!!!! The power of suggestion.....IT WILL HAPPEN!!!

:circlelove:

I want to add some things too.Yes the hardest part is the wait between the trial and the final implant. I would try to stay busy with things..anything so that you are not just laying around dwelling on the pain and the wait.I mean you are in pain either way so why not try and do something to distract your self for a few moments... and yes vent all you want. you gotta let those feelings out and not hold them inside or swallow them..let them out. sometimes when I get really over the top angry I grab a few old dishes or glasses and smash them the sound and the throwing helps me feel better. odd I know ha never said I was perfectly sane :rolleyes:. other times I write heck I write all the time .
Your doing good sister :hug: you are a fighter and we all see that your full of courage and determination . May what we have said to you give you even more strength and comfort durring this waiting period. ..try to think of some names for these twins.... I would say Tina and Tom :p..thats me and my twin bro's name lol T-n-T for short or Heckle and Jeckel ...Jack and Jill ...I am just tryin to distract ya a bit to keep your mind off the down side...think about knowing in less then 6 months you will be across the finish line and living a life where the pain is managed that in turn will improve and better everything else around you. sending gentle hugs super strength and non stop prayers for you a giant wish for this time to pass quickly . :smileypray:God please provide comfort patience protection and peace to Fiona .Guide her threw the waiting and the final surgery Please help things go smoothly and the scs be successful in drastically lowering the pain forever.
Thank You God.:smileypray:
Keep your chin up, stay strong and remember we are here for you ! we are praying and cheering you on all the way all the time! you CAN do this your almost there !! Dont look at the finish line until after you have crossed it... THEN look back at it
:grouphug:
PEACE
BMW...Tina

Thanks SO MUCH for all your kind words and support. The time between the trial and the implant seems to drag on and on, esp. when I've had a taste of pain relief. Sometimes I wish doctors had to live with some pain themselves so they'd be more understanding. They have no idea how chronic, unrelenting pain can absolutely drain you down and make you feel so depressed.

I did have to laugh when I read about Mark flashing folks when he had his hospital gown on. Reminded me of what happened several years ago. I had been in bed for 2 days (after my lumbar fusion), when the perky physical therapy gal came bouncing into my room saying "it's time to get you up and moving, you've been in bed wlay too long!" I looked up at her, through the post-surgical pain and all the morphine they had me on, and said "What?":eek:

My protests were in vain as she forced me to get out of bed, seeming to overlook the fact that I almost passed out from the pain as I got up out of bed. She then proceeded to make me walk the hallway for 5 minutes. She left saying she'd be back the next day.

As I lay there, in pain, grumpy, and in one bad mood thinking about her return visit the next day, I decided that if I was going to have to get up and walk I was going to do it on my terms. So, over the next hour or so, I slowly worked on finding a position where I could pull myself up enough to sit on the side of the bed, and the next hour after that I worked on finding a way to get up out of the bed and walk around my room for a while. Once I figured those tricks out, I decided to try to walk the hallway by myself, since it did have railings on the walls to hang on to.

Feeling extremely grumpy, in a lot of pain and heavily medicated, I start walking down the hall, knowing full well that my gown was not tied in the back and that the world was getting to see all that God had given me. I really could have cared less...all I was focused on was making sure that by the time perky-pants came back the next day I was going to be able to tell her I HAD been walking and she could leave me the heck alone.

After quite a few laps up and down the hall, past many patient rooms, one of the nurses at the desk suddenly saw my exposed rump and came running down the hall yelling "Fiona, Fiona, stop, stop". I just looked at her as though I had no idea why she was so upset and said "I'm up and walking, just like you want". She had a robe in her hands and proceeded to quickly put it on me to cover my hiney. After walking me back to my room, she said I'd walked enough for the day and that I could stay in my bed. As I lay there in bed, even in a lot of pain, I couldn't help but laugh to myself about it all.

The next day when the PT gal came by she said that she'd heard I'd been up and walking on my own and that she didn't think I needed her help any more. So, after that they left me alone and I was able to take my time and get up and walk.

Thanks, guys. Just remembering that puts a smile on my face:smirk: