I am so sick of this and tired and depressed right now. Instead of the pain getting better it is actually getting worse and I really wish I could stop eating, drinking, and going to bathroom! All of those things make everything worse of course even though it already is worse I feel bad coming here because I know this is a stim/pain pump forum so I am trying not to be a bother but I got in trouble at the IC website because I told my story and people got mad! I was only sharing the truth because I don't want other people to go through what happened to me but people get mad if you say negative things about a doc even when you don't mention names or anything. This is the reason I usually end up leaving forums/websites for my health problems because I want to be honest with my experiences both bad and good. Anyway, that is why I appreciate you all so much because you have all been very supportive through my journey and after wards. I have to get three chapters of homework done by Friday and I feel like I am going to pass out, in fact just walking around hurts me inside which is probably where they cauterized things (bladder surgery). I am thankful for my stim working right and I am even having my stim guy and his family at our wedding! He is really like part of our family because he and I have talked about everything and he was the one that fought for me to get the paddle leads and even the new pain doctor! The other reason I am such a mess is lack of hormones and this has made me way more depressed and crying a lot so I am not very fun to be around at this moment...but I know this will pass. I do have faith that the hormones will get fixed and that hopefully my IC gets better again without having to use catheters again and I will be heading down that aisle this fall feeling like a whole new woman! Sorry for these crazy ramblings, you all are so amazing and I appreciate you listening to me. I will try to catch up on how everyone's stim is doing...but its going to have to wait til after this bladder nightmare is over! Take care and you are all in my thoughts and prayers!

Tara, we care SO MUCH for you and EVERY aspect of your life!
You've become a big part of our little forum here.

I am VERY CONCERNED about You!!

PLEASE don't allow yourself to get dehydrated Tara!! PLease!!
This happened to one of my sons several years back and he was hospitalized and it was a VERY SCARY thing to deal with!
I know you dread taking in liquids because you are in pain.....but PLEASE keep using that catheter or whatever it takes to stay properly hydrated ok?
Promise?!
You'll end up suffering needless setbacks if your body isn't getting enuf fluids.
I know you know this already, but it's always good to hear it from a friend who truly cares..... WE ALL CARE ABOUT YOU!!!

I can't understand why those other forums chewed you out! Evidentally they aren't 'support' forums!! To heck with them! You need SUPPORT!
You will never 'wear out your welcome' here, my dear...you know that!

It's thoughtful of you to come here and give us these updates because we know you've got so much going on and if we DON'T hear from you, then we can't help but worry. So, thank you. Thank you for hanging in there and fighting this thru! You've got great reward waiting for you - but I know you probably don't feel like it's going to happen. You are being bombarded.
It's so hard to comprehend why someone so sweet has to suffer like this.

Big hats off to Jerry and the rest of your family for their support.

Please feel free to come here any time to vent! You are part of this 'family'....and if you ever feel inclined, we can even put out prayers for you on the 'Spiritual Sanctuary' Forum here as well. We are blessed to have some pretty powerful 'Prayer Warriors' here at NT.
The door is always open. And if you prefer to just keep it here with our little SCS family, then so be it! You can also PM any of us at any time. I've had my share of 'female issues'....I'd be more than happy to talk about anything if you ever feel the need ok? It's important to talk things out and try to make sense of things that just DON'T make sense!

I am so very concerned for you.....
PrayingCaring Always
Rae

Somehow you do need to preserve hydration, even with the pain the healing bladder is producing.

I have you in my prayers,
CARING,
Mark56z

Thank you Rae and Mark and everyone else who cares so much about me I talked to the nurse yesterday and it did not go well. They basically said there is nothing they can do for me, the meds should have worked and if I need better pain management I should go to the ER! They also made sure to remind me to drink water, watch my diet for IC flares, and other things that I know and have been doing. Part of me just wanted to know if it was normal to be in this amount of pain since that surgery but of course they could not even answer that. I was in a very bad mood after all that and cried most the day and was frustrated and angry! I do have an appointment on Monday because we have to find out my biopsy results and I am going to tell the doctor about everything. I am thinking about switching doctors to especially after they put me through more torture by the irrigation catheters last time when they should of just straight put me in the hospital I learned before about how important it is to change doctors when I had to change my pain doctor in order to get my stim fixed but it still is not a fun process. I am sorry for being so grouchy and negative lately but its been really rough because the pain is so bad and the doctors are acting like it is normal or it is my fault. I have to go but will definitely let you know about Monday's results. I have to get my homework done and I have a little puppy at my feet that wants my attention Take care and have a good weekend!