Hi guys ,

Just thought I would say good morning to you all and "check in" with you guys.

How is everyone's SCS working this morning? Are you all getting a buzz out of today? I run mine still only a few hours out of the day. It still makes me jumpy and affects my chest, but I need to have information to provide with the doctors in Cleveland. (I had to re-schedule this appointment to April 12th so I could someone to come watch the kids and make sure the goats were all taken care of)

I started physical therapy - the desensitization with a cotton ball. So far, so good. Some times are fine, others are like steel wool being rubbed on me. It's got to be done, so I just bury my face in my pillow and say funny words (trying not to swear, although it has been proven that swearing helps with pain).

I got a new set of wheels on Friday. My therapist and the insurance company's case nurse manager insisted on me using a 4 wheel walker with a seat (and a basket!) instead of a cane and holding onto my husband . It makes me feel super old, but it is surprisingly helpful. My husband and I actually walked around in our back and front yard longer then usual (I do need some type of better traction tires so I can go in the yard). It does provide more stability as well as a resting spot if I get dizzy or tired. I think I might have overdone it yesterday though, as my body is very angry today.

My pain management doctor also agreed with me not taking the Clonidine anymore. So, I am slowly coming off this medication as it can cause my blood pressure to sky rocket. Gee - this medication caused my blood pressure to drop into scary levels after just one week and if I don't come off it slowly, it can cause it to go the other way. Good thing hubby is in charge of my medications - he doesn't forget how or what the doc says like I do . The doctor also introduced Methadone. Initially, I was upset over this, scared and freaked out. I was also feeling ashamed of this because of the reputation that goes along with this medication. I am currently taking 5 MG twice a day (12 hours apart). Next week, I take it up to 5 MG three times a day (8 hours apart). I am surprised at the improvement!! I am dealing with the nausea and headaches right now, but it is helping!! I've gone from taking 5 to 6 Vicodin 7.5MGs to only 2 or 3!! I seem to have a bit more engery from being pain free, but I crash fast and crash hard (not extreme pain, but tired, dizziness, headaches and nausea). I am hoping that this will pass and that things will even out.

I believe our game plan is to see if we can't get everything else under control, then move onto the stim and the problems I have with it. We are not rushing into removing the device, as removing it might pose more serious problems. I guess we will see what the doctors in Cleveland say.

Please don't hate me if I bail on the SCS "group" and join the Methadone users.

Thank you for this update!
You are sounding very well! This is so encouraging to read!

You are taking things one step at a time and you have a wonderful support system.....this is a good reminder to me - seeing how I'm dealing with some uncertainty in several areas at the moment Reading your post was very good 'medicine' for me.

Congrats on the new wheels! Never allow yourself to feel 'old' ! Ya hear!
There are so many folks who rely on some form of aide to keep steady.....and more important - to help prevent a fall or accident!
You are really on the ball and I am so happy for you!
Just reading that your new medication program is doing so well makes me happy......I'm also hoping for something similar. I'm even going to see a pain psychiatrist to hopefully help me in managing my meds......and to help sort out my depression issues.....(imagine that, a chronic pain sufferer battling depression )

Anyway, Patti, you've really brought a bright spot to our little forum.....please stay in touch!

Thanks for everything!
Rae

Thanks Rrae! I've been "lurking", and trying to read and catch up. It's just that somedays, I don't feel like posting because there is nothing new.

We are still waiting on my daughter's goats to have babies. That was part of the reason I had to reschedule Cleveland's appointment. I got the "actual" estimated due date, and one of them was due on the 30th!! I also double scheduled, and forgot that I had an appointment with the psychologist for that day.

Take care, and I have found a glimmer. At this point, I will do anything to get a glimmer - it makes me want more! I want the whole rainbow, but it will be baby steps.

You know lurking is OK and it is not dangerous at all, but it does tend to deprive one of the support they may receive by way of feedback from others. This Forum is just like any other in the ebb and flow of postings and communications. I think a good lot of us have been stricken with a bad case of spring fever, so are out getting vitamin D from the good old sun instead of chained to a computer keyboard.

So..... anyway...... I am one of those chronic pain sufferers on whom my physiatrist tried EVERYTHING to get me into a zone of management regarding this pain, short, that is of doing the SCS implant. You can imagine, I have taken before a great many prescribed things such as Methadone, Methadose, Morphine, Vicodin, Percocet, Lyrica, Neurontin, Valium, Restoril, Ambien, Robaxin, and on and on and on, for YEARS. I just figured they were part of the territory, and I did not feel embarassed about needing to use what was prescribed, because doc was striving to manage my pain. It was absolutely AWFUL, AWFUL, and then there was the bout with depression after I had weaned off of the pain meds courtesy of Librium and Clonidine and others. Gotta tell you that DEPRESSION can take your soul into the deepest darkest place a person never wants to be. I have seen the bottom of that hole and it is frightening!

You, on the other hand are presenting a portrait of valiant effort to make it with a stubborn or uncooperative stim with arcing racing around your body in the wrong places while also taking prescribed pain management meds. Your life experience is precious to share..... precious. Such writings, as you know by lurking are and represent the LIFE BLOOD of this forum, the very sharing of our experiences with one another so we may be lifted up both through responses and through prayers that others utter on our behalf. I have craved and needed both as this path has seemed so steep and scary, so working one step at a time, I have proceeded, carefully along, hoping life would return with glimmers of joy, glimpses of peace, the heady aroma of experience hard won because I was able to do something again [like smell a rose outside on a bush] that pain had prevented.

Coming along you are. If you find your need takes you to the Methadone forum, we will truly understand, although, being here, I'll wager [is that legal?] that every one of us have been medicinally where you are now.

As for me in this house, your name is an object of prayer, and I will often think of you Patti, as I hope your resolution to enslaving pain is just around the corner,
Big ZZ
Mark56