Humbly lifting YOU and all up in prayer as I drive to work.
Going now,
Christ's boundless Adape love upon all of you to your very core,
Mark56

If I could take your pain away, I would. It is hard to know the people here who suffer so much. It does get personel and there is so much pain. It humbles you. You have been so strong, so faithful in your love of God. I wish this earth had some mercy. I think that gets reserved for heaven. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed as you do too. Maybe just being in touch with each other, helps in some small way. If you hurt, please take some medication. I know the stuff isn't great for you, but it does ease the pain. I know you have spinal problems on top of what surgery you just went through. Is the pain from the surgery itself any better? Is the pain tonight due to your spine? Dear woman, if it gets to be too much, ask your doctor for more help. There is no shame in asking for more medicatons. I go in thursday, and plan to ask my pain doctor if there is anything I can take besides a narcotic. I hate to think of myself on this drug all my life. I wish for a normal existance too. Maybe that isn't going to happen in this life. Accepting all my limits is hard. I don't think you were a sit down kind of person either, when all this happened to you. I miss my job most of all, and I suppose that hurts more than the physical pain I have. The Name of my business was "Noah's Country Ark" if that tells you anything. I sculpted miniatures, all Gods animals in a very small scale under a magnafier. That is how I ruined my spine. I still dream of my critters at night, they romp and play in my dreams. I hope that you know I pray for you every day. I keep NT at the top of my list. Be at peace tonight, and take something to help you if you can. Let the angels watch over you. ginnie

dear friend ginnie

thank you for asking
the pain is bone related
my right shoulder thru
the roof
had no clue it has gotten so
out of hand
always something never
silence in the body
body can hurt more
when in rest mode
i take as prescribed
my therapy is something
i need to find healthy ways of
mobility
just have fun
still so many doctors
anyhow
throbbing legs killing me
took my meds
going to give it a shot
thank you for paying attention
returning the love

((((HUG))))

Thinking of you Eva and sending my prayers your way....

Rae

Of course I pay attention Eva. People need each other, especially when they suffer. I fully believe we are brothers and sisters on this earth, not seperate at all.
I plan to talk to my pain doc. on thursday, and I am dreading it. I do much want to just be on the right dose so I have a quality of life. He has reduced my meds. to the point he has taken most of my walking ability away. He also wants me to do another surgery, I just want to be left alone for awhile, Know what I mean? I can't keep out of the OR any year for the past 8 years. Something or the other is needing to be fixed. If I go in upset or angry they accuse me of being by-polar, nope... I am just a bit ticked off lets say.
So I will have to speak up this week, and tell him what I am thinking.

Please do the same. If your meds. arn't doing as much as you need, speak up. It is hard to suffer, ,much less not talk about it. I am so glad we have this site Eva. I think I would go nuts without the good souls here who have compassion. Really, talk to your doc. After all you have been through, you need some break, where you are not 24/10 hurting. So do I.

You will always be in my prayers Eva. Ger, Bf, Mark, so many many good people. If I prayed the right way, there would not be time for anything else!
Add the worlds pain, and I should have gone to the convent!

I care about you Eva. I do have empathy and wish you didn't have to go through all this, so you can enjoy your family more. I hope this day goes good for you. I intend to answer some posts, and help out a bit more, then I am going back to a book I am reading about North Korea. This one isn't fiction either. I headed out early this a.m. and went to Wal-mart to show them a few mistakes on my receipt. Around where I live, the tourists are so thick right now, travel is almost impossible. I use to be a tourist too, so I don't really mind, you just have to go when the traffic is light. I sure wish I was going to work however, and able to do what I did before.

I will be back on line later tonight too. My son has the flu, and even at 37 years old, I sent over soup and 7-up. I will be checking to see how he is doing. Once you are a mom as you know the job is for life! Have a blessed day Eva. ginnie

back at ya


wishing you feel good goose bumps!

thanks rrae

dear ginnie

oh you are so right
you help me and others in
ways that would tickle
your heart
you have a big heart
may you day
be filled with
feel good love
went to pain specialist
yesterday gave me my
meds 30 mg oxycontin
switched it up from oxycodone
never pain free
won't live zombie
life either
just were i can tolerate
must take care of extended
leave from job
i appreciate your
concerns and prayers
back at ya too!

I am sure glad you got a bit more help. Nobody wants to be a zombie, but pain all the time isn't good eithor for the head and soul. Hope you are more comfortable right now. I went ahead and took the percocet too, so tonight I am OK in the Neck and ankles.
I got a few pointers on line to help me talk to my pain specialist when I go in.
It is true, that those that need the meds, don't want to take them. You are forced to, to keep the quality of life.
I am also in contact with a dear woman who is facing a harder surgery that I had in her neck. I felt sick reading her MRI. I am not sure I would ever be brave enough to have a third fusion. She is facing C2-T3, posterior. I am trying to help her, and pray for her too. Because it is such a big surgery, I will try and offer support. I am encouraging another opinion. Would you pray for her too? Her name is malinda, she needs an angel right about now.

I hope both of us, and the people on NT have a good night. Less pain, more peace. You are in my prayers as always. sleep good...ginnie

Unfortunately with the meds, the pain is still between 5 -7. But, at least, they do give me some relief. I take the Oxycontin and Oxycodone)percocet).
The Oxycontin is a time release and the Oxycodone/(percocet) is for breakthru when the pain gets really high. Between the both of them, I at least have some life. Opiads do not affect the thinking as much as many other narcotic meds.

Of course, we do become dependent on them; but never get a high. We are dependent to help deal with the pain. There is a difference between addicted and dependent. I pray you will have more time with less pain.

(Ger)

dear friends

would not forget
must remember only
in the back seat

thank you Jesus
i hope i'm not too
heavy giving me a piggy
back ride along this
beautiful shoreline
with the sun going down
oh feel good moment

thank you Jesus
i trust you will make
things right for
only you and i
know the truth
my insurance is
vital and doable
let there be true in
the need

thank you Jesus
by no chance
for
thy will be done

thank you Jesus
giving me the strength
and will to fight yet
once again as justice
is at stake truth
be told i will not
allow intimidation
in the way
i trust you Jesus

thank you Jesus
knowing i am responsible
and make choices
always trying
that's all i can do
and hope the message
is clear

thank you Jesus
you teach me well
i just need toooooo
FOCUS
love it
now do it eva

i'm not going on a
path i am unable
to do both mental and physical
strength needed and
allowing me
the strength
i trust you Jesus

i trust you Jesus
i trust you Jesus

thank you all for
sharing
as i am hungarian
both parents
to be born i a
city durban, south africa
not far from the shore
remembering if your feet
weren't seasoned terrible
analogy however it is
what came to mind
we were taken when
the sun was setting
how beautiful
i'm gonna stop here
toooooooo many
EMOTIONS!
and not feeling well

thanks