No .. But i am now going to buy a sock monkey to make. You have all been warned. If you like it when it's finished and want to make one I am more than willing to buy a kit and send you one .. X x x

Well I was here for a few moments Thanksgiving Day and know I intended to wish all well - but I guess I didn't. The mind is INDEED a terrible thing to waste (on all these pain meds!!)

I do wish you all a great Thanksgiving - may you be so busy reciting all your blessings that your food gets cold! Now wouldn't that be wonderful?!

I'm hoping to be where some of you sit next Thanksgiving - with the table of those that SCS helped! And have a much improved life because of it! Oh how I want to be at that table!

Regardless, I do have much to be thankful for: the Lord in my life, food to eat (plentiful!), roof over our heads (a nice home, that is wheelchair accessible and decorated so beautifully!), a great husband, who helps me so much!, that he has a GOOD job, for good friends, family, TWO WONDERFUL GRANDCHILDREN that I hope to see 3-4 times next year (yeah!), good medical care, and hope - SO thankful for hope - that things will get better, and prayer: that God will hear my pleas and grant me pain relief!

I pray you all will have too many blessings to even type them out! I know I am so blessed - there are many people in this world that don't have food, shelter, medical care - that something like a spinal cord stimulator - they wouldn't even know such a thing existed. Yes, I am blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving! Now we're off to my favorite tine of the year - Christmas!

We all are grateful for your Thanksgiving blessings, and pray you too, will join the SCS club this coming year so you may more wonderfully enjoy the seasons of life and all they have to offer!

Merry Christmas,
Mark56

Owwwwww, my head hurts!

Aww, that's so sweet, Saffy!

I made the one that's my avatar, but I knitted it instead of sewing it out of socks. I bought the book by this guy who makes "Stupid Sock Creatures", but have never tried to make any of them: http://www.stupidcreatures.com/galle.../classics.html. Aren't they a hoot?

If I ever do get around to making one, I'll take pics and post here.

I didn't get over the weekend .. That black dog of depression is on me and my husband and I aren't talking .. I'm stressed and thinking of going to stay with my mum as I feel so, so useless.

I had a couple of major back spasms yesterday .. my husband, usually understanding, said, Oh you have them every day .. I said, yes, but not this severe.

I am actually begging to wish I was in a wheelchair so he could see that I am in pain.

Is this wrong?

I am so, so down.

Dear Safffy- Neither you nor your husband can handle the black dog of depression alone. You need to notify your doc. It is not so unusual in chronic pain situations, and you may need meds and visits with a psych doc to overcome the very existence of the depression, which will drive a wedge between you and spouse unknowingly as he doesn't know or have the means to cope. Be in touch with the doc right away..... why do I know, because I have been there before. So that next call is for you to make in order to grab hold of the black dog and put it where it belongs.

Truly Caring,
Mark56zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I'm so sorry, Karen. I hate it that you battle this. Hey, it takes one to know one - like Mark said, I've also been there.....alot. It seems to come around and go around. This last go-around was probably one of the worst. When I get like this I usually like to be by myself.....but not for 'too' long. I just need to cry it out and I don't want to be around other people when I'm like that.
Do you take anything for depression? (if you don't mind me asking)
I've been on Wellbutrin for many years. But after this last time with the black dog, I realized it wasn't working good enough. I asked around and have been told that adding 'Abilify' has done wonders for other people. I may check into this if I get hit with it again.

I hope you and your husband will sort things out. You both have been thru so much. Try to find the right time to have a meaningful talk and maybe try to put yourself in each other's shoes and talk about your frustrations. He needs to realize what it's like to be racked with pain and depression, thus making you feel useless. Maybe he's frustrated because he thinks you are shutting him out? I dunno, I'm just throwing some thoughts in the air. I sure don't claim to know much.
I just care

Rae

My thanks .... I am feeling a lot better today .. and thank heavens my eyelids have goen back to normal as my eyes were nearly closed, from crying yesterday.

I do think it's a bit hormonal (as I'm 50 and in the third week of a "period") (Sorry Mark) after not having seen one since April !!

I just sat and cried and cried and cried yesterday. I was unable to think straight and couldn't settle until Mike came home.

I put the rabbits in the dining room and let them have a run round with me lay on the floor and bless them, they made me smile. They truly are my lifter uppers!

Depression is awful .. there were a lot of reports this weekend after the awful suicide of the Wales Football Manager, Gary Speed, who hung himself at the weekend despite seeming happy and cheerful. Oh, how we who suffer from depression know what face we put on to the public.

Everything thinks I am so outgoing and friendly and smiley .. they don't see me when I have days where the negative thoughts overule the positive. When I sit and cry .. and cry .. and then cry some more.

I even keep the thought, this will pass, this will pass, inside my head, but it doesnt help at the time. And I hate myself for typing this, and despise myself even more for thinking it, when there are people out there dying, desperate to live .. but I have even wished I wasn't here before.

I'm better at dealing with those thoughts now, as I have family, and I couldn't do this to them .. so for someone to not even manage those thoughts, and to actually go through with suicide, good lord, they must be in some awful place and my heart goes out to them.

I've been on Prozac for, oh gosh ... 18 years ish? The thing is, the Tramadol that I am taking, also acts in the same way .. increasing the serotonin in the brain .. so when I try and reduce my meds, I get withdrawal. Circles ...

There is a fabulous twitter here from a footballer who describes depression brilliantly ..

http://www.twitlonger.com/show/ecoqm1