You give and give and much more to all
and your life is a testament to redemption from fall
depression, the darkness, comes hither and steals
the life spark of we who in depth are revealed
such sadness and trauma should not be within
but only when Lord comes releasing a grin
so wholesome the visage of babe and Sir Ol
one wonders how life could ever be less than ALL
the sum of our feelings from hurt to great JOY
this life is so lesson filled, Lord where are we going?
May we live in fullness, appreciating all
the hard and the not so tough, especially gall
that hardest of difficult, the thing beyond ken
will strengthen resolve so be readied for when
the break in the hard one comes simple and right
as with God and our faith we may step into light.

in the words of a wise beautiful humble daring courageous loving human being

dear God
blessed i am
thank you
and thank you
my beautiful friend

someone that cares

dear God
dear friends

scared i am
thank you for another day
somethings not right
my right back arm
ear whole head is
feeling something i haven't
ever before
my right thumb
a hurting sensation
on a electrical shocking
level
and it settled in the right of my neck

oh Lord
it it feels so awesome
to have my dog and Eva
here at the same time
i can hear her in her high chair
and Olie laying right up against
me i would love this feeling bottled up
as that warm flannel shirt
Lord the animals created
to serve us love and love in
return
i look in his eyes
just as i remember
funny its been 33 years
since my father killed himself
left a note
miss him
is that normal
after all he has done
will he be there when
i go home
has he met our maker
it would be lovely to know
he is under the arms of that
old comfortable flannel shirt
just a piece of it
but i miss him
there is so much we need to
catch up on
dear Lord is he at peace
he to suffered i remember
not just an amputee but such a
depressed human being in the end
from a lively vibrant young handsome
young man he was 29 when i was born
my goodness all that time passed
oh how i don't miss the beatings from him
yet i miss him
is that normal
something to talk with my shrink

my daughter Saraeve
as i write should be registered
she is in Minneapolis MN
they drove through 7 states
to do her bliss in life
she is at a venue there
an event called
"Women of the World"
Poetry Slam
how mush more can i ask for
my child following her bliss
how many get it
a young woman 23 years old
bam epileptic and suffer from them
regularly on a s**t loads of meds
removed part of her occipitial lobe (spelling)
19 days with 20 or more leads coming out of
the top of her skull
only the price for that was and is
permanent loss of eye sight
and in the end has a VNS implant to stop them
as they start and meds not the best still with her
doctors she is my eldest child will not be a mom
as her eggs have been on very dangerous drugs
a mourning she goes through every time she sees
a family a baby it was so hard for her when her sister
was pregnant with Eva

and look at her now
i couldn't be any happier
or as proud as i am she
made it
she is living what she love
and she is great at it
her mark will be left for
all to read forever in time
i give myself the chills just
thinking about her preforming
i told her look for me in the crowd
i love you Saraeve
i am a proud mommy

eva is a pip
we share a very very
special relationship
i pray it last a long time
i have the opportunity
to have her in my life
she loves to learn and
is interested in me reading
to her i have two more
books to read her

looking forward to SPRING
Amen! Amen! Amen!

wishing all a blessed
beautiful sunny even
in clouds the sun still shines
bring life back into me
i want to live
i need to live
i hope to love
i pray for miracles
as they do happen
i trust you JESUS
i love you JESUS
i trust you JESUS

all thy will be done
forever and ever
AMEN!
forgive me of my sins
dear God
AMEN!


FOR MY CYBER FAMILY
HAVE BEEN INSTRUMENTAL
IN MY MAINTAINING A SENSE
TRUE SELF AND IT IS UNDERSTOOD

SOMEONE THAT CARES

dear GOD
dear friends

i have done so much homework on hematomas
and since 2nd surgery my thumbs have been
the thing that bugs me the most
as i read and read all my aliments i suffer
after 2nd surgery in fact where i never expected
i am reading about me with things such as
Horners Syndrome
and the thumbs
and the hardware
and the headaches
and my voiding urine
all since second surgery
i know what i feel i know
this is why he hasn't contacted
me since i found the lump in my breast
and guess what else is in correlation in my reading
that my breast cancer an additional red flag
it has something to do with cervical neck problems
i was just beside myself in horror
it was there in black and white
oh the man is billing me for the 2nd
surgery but that's it all is gone
but i'm still here so want to act
on the information i again found
professionalism my *****
I HAVE HAD ENOUGH EXPERIENCE
and i know what i suffer
before before and now
after 2nd before
oh do i know myself
when i feel it in my gut
i know it is the truth
digging at me
what doctor wouldn't tell there
was compromised hardware
the first time and then
the hematoma the 2nd time
there is the one lawyer who
helped get my job back
in this case my letter to the mayor
he was impressed with didn't change
a word and took my case won and got
my municipal job back can anyone guess how
if you guessed by the truth facts
smart enough to make copies of
everything
ALL ON TRUTH
PLEASE CAN I HEAR AN AMEN!
AMEN! SWEET JESUS
MY MIND ONLY YOU KNOW DEAR GOD
YOU GAVE ME THE STRENGTH TO DO
WHAT I HAD TO
and you know upon my return
it made a HUGE change
gave hope for others not to be
afraid as i had no problem
throwing the PRESIDENT OF THE
"ASSOCIATION" USING THE TITLE
"UNION"
well lets just say i read my contract
and made copies of EVERYTHING
and going up against management
was of course the Mayor
who clearly knows my character
and that mattered to me most
off subject
to many pieces apply in my case
and i believe because he never
even blinked when telling him i
was violated
oh just to look in his green eyes
only he can't stay fixed
dear God
this is how i feel
you gave me that special gift
that gut instinct
you blessed me in many ways
one of them smelling a rat
and still wowing the nurses
as they kiss his buttocks
just watched "Forrest Gump"
one of my favorites
anyhow they feared him
i knew him
big difference
when my Saraeve hear from
his mouth calling me a pain
in the *****
was just taking it to another level
so PETERSON you took my life from me
as i will get to one day forgive
your incompetent care
as if i were draining properly
in the hospital
add not much was draining in that
container it gets collected in
it wasn't inserted properly
and had to be released
he came in after calling me an *****
and pulled out a syringe needle
and started expelling the liquid
clearish like
spinal fluid pressure
pushed up to my neck
now as they can be common in other
type of surgery
those are hematomas that were internal
didn't blow up externally
mine pushed on my site and hardware
as the cage was put in 2nd time around
well i am in a pickle
i am responsible
no he did not mean
for it to happen
the difference is
he didn't do anything about it
period
surgery number one never told me
i was right about hardware
documented
why lie to me
you hurt me terribly
you affected my family
you left me behind
you never wrote or reached out
other than bill me
i will call upon BEN (lawyer)
one last time i have so much
more hard proof of back
including pictures
AMEN!
FOUND BY ACCIDENT
AFTER LAWYER DECLINED
I BELIEVE IT IS TWO YEARS
LIMITATION
LAST SURGERY 4-15-11
ANY HELPFUL FEED BACK OPINIONS
WOULD BE WELCOMED

dear Lord show me the way
Olie going home tomorrow

bittersweet
one more night
help me out of this funk
dear Lord
hear our prayers
thy will be done

to my special cyber family
help me see what i don't
thank you

someone who cares

p.s. OLIVER HAS A THING FOR LICKING BELLY BUTTONS
I LET HIM LICK MINE FOR THE FIRST TIME OH MY GOODNESS
HOW IT TICKLES
THAT'S IT
MOMMY GAVE IN
ITS SO GROSS TO WATCH HIM
HE JUST LOVES IT MY NUTTY DOG

Just had to mention that my two dogs also like licking belly buttons. At first made me wonder if my hygiene habits were lacking! But, decided they were just intrigued by it for some reason...you're right, it does tickle

hi my friend

he goes home to mommy #2 Saraeve
as i write the are in PA not much longer
it was the best thing for me
i would love a tea cup size
i wouldn't get lip with something
that tiny
we'll see Saraeve needs him for the
seizures and he has been her savior
so many times
starting to tear up
to all a blessed day

someone who cares and loves her baby boy Oliver
got him at 8 weeks silky tirrier with the fox snout
here i go again
i'm such a big baby

Here is a day for assurance blessings abundant and overflowing may be unto all who come by, and even those who do not.....
A warm comfy flannel shirt hug from the Lord to all
that each may know LOVE is lavished upon YOU
for He is life and love and deliverance from anguish, pain, depression, and so much
this, my prayer for all.

Fear Not
Mark56 20130310

Fear Not
MRidder 20130310

Oh Lord, You draw me through the FEAR
the captive breath held tight, so dear
You show me life of utter joy
that fear is loss, frustration’s ploy
in You, in Love, all fear is lost
fire purifies, all fears just dross
the warehouse full of fearful chaff
which flame of faith consumes in draft
of consuming flicker, licked all clean
then fears all gone, heart for God now see
as Father, God, You leap in Love
and reach for me from HERE and ABOVE.


Praying fear be banished from our lives.

Amen! Amen! Amen!
Amen!
Amen!

LORD HEAR OUR PRAYERS

These are the first small dogs we've had. We've had beagles, cocker spaniels, shetland sheepdogs. etc. They are Maltese, both weighting about 7 pounds each. As our dogs had passed on, we've been "downsizing" in dogs to a weight that I can carry and deal with. In the past my husband always had to take them to vet, bathe them etc. This breed is so happy and fun loving. I had thought about tea cup size but my vet warned me that they are bred to be so small that they have a lot of health problems. We have to be careful of our small dogs as they are easier to be hurt. They play rough with one another but I think they believe they are bigger than they are. Dogs sure do bring a lot of love and smiles into our lives