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03-31-2014, 09:27 PM | #981 | |||
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Senior Member
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Eva Eva, your pain and anguish so hard to hear, tears flow as I ponder your pain and sorrow and I know I'm blessed to have met such a courageous soul. I hear you, I hear you loud and clear, an answer, something definitive to get on with, to be free to square your shoulders, look it in the eye and defy it, not deny it. Don't wait, you know your body, mind and soul, push those in the know for all that you can. God gave us breath to live, not sit idly by waiting for time to pass.
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (04-01-2014), ginnie (04-06-2014), Hana (04-01-2014), Hannabananna (04-01-2014), Mark56 (04-01-2014) |
04-01-2014, 07:02 AM | #982 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day Dear friend I have a hard time with this one How to behave while I know it is lurking inside of me To be given a diagnosis of such findings heck I don't even want to repeat the findings is just to difficult to let it go Go where it is branded in my brain This is what I shall do At my oncology appointment I will ask the doctor there has got to be a test to rule out such diagnosis with all the test they have to be able to rule such things positive or negative This is certainly something I must ask I do want to breath To take a deep breath hurts This is how badly it hurts but know I have all joints kill especially in the morning To wake up I feel mummified waiting for my fingers toes feet Oh my goodness to sit on the bowl to take a shower everything I have to wear must be able to slip in it No more buttons Forget the hook and eye bras I still have the fight in me I just need to know As I look into the eyes of my doctor And let him tell me what's going on with me Your replied do bring comfort to this scared woman I rebuke any evil or evildoerers Jesus my brother can you carry me for a bit Things are so upside down I believe in the Father Son and Holy Spirit My family needs me Your in my thoughts I so pray we all have relief Being bound by this isn't pleasant I know you understand I certainly understand Thank you for raising me up may I do the same for you
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04-02-2014, 05:28 PM | #983 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day took care of a few things my strength is so challenged and at the end of the day i'm in zombie mode so much has been robbed from me all by my doctors not taking the responsible road ego comes with the medical profession not professionalism God thank you for making me a strong woman in every other way i stand out i am different i do not sit by idly waiting for something to happen i am being responsible and my request is reasonable how embarrassed would i be only you know sweet Brother Mother how i respect what you only as a mother in love with her children must let them go they are Gods children first how can we deny your son never going to happen my granddaughter came to doctors upon coming home taking the elevator up exiting after a few stops step out as she runs ahead of me and repeating me saying "thank you Lord" "thank you Jesus" over and over and with that i say thank you God thank you Jesus thank you Mother Mary thank you all for letting me share i Jesus i trust Amen!
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04-05-2014, 08:52 PM | #984 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Dear Father
My Brother Jesus Sweet Mother Mary I thank you for another day Thank you for the love you have I to brush against your flannel shirt The smell of love in the air Yellow daiseys as far as the eye could see The sky blue The sun shines so brightly my sunhat made of straw let's the sun peek through as the daiseys ending and the sand begins My feet reach the ocean the soft waves wash away my footprints as if I never walked it I can breath I take air my lungs filled with fresh life no pain I can touch my toes arch my back from this place I feel safe Never did I have the idea this is all there is the sun upon my naked body My mind never touched no sadness in my heart my hands feel soft no pain I arch my back my breasts still there I touch my heart and there is no beat be this my dream Forever I am Free I am home No more PAIN NO MORE TEARS NO MORE FEAR I'm home I can play with my best friend Eva
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04-07-2014, 01:32 PM | #985 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day I have over done it Things need to get done All members have their own things to do Will not lie I feel more lonely as each day goes by Father help me find me Where have I gone Where am I going Who would want to be with me I can't entertain a simple walk Life as it was with a job to go too So many unwelcomed pain How to heal a broken heart This heart that has yet to be loved Father I know you listen I am your servant In you I trust and love for I know you breath the life into us all I understand I am only in control of me I type with so much pain If it keeps go on like it is I don't know what else to do My doctors continue to fail me I am tall walk tall find I cannot arch my back at all my body is slumping forward My reconstructive doctor seen me after two years Nothing changed it is the same as it was two years ago why deny me the truth my neurosurgeon would not look me into my eyes because the last time he did he could not deny it My pupils were visible to him and brushed me off to be told by the last two orthosurgeons say no surgery to many things going on Father have I not made you proud do I try and live as a decent human to another respect the word teach my children as a responsible parent I have sinned as I have no respect for the woman who birthed me This I know does not please you I will be kind and honest if she should call You answer me as I can see the signs I believe in your awesome power and your love Am I only to experience the love of my children On this place we call earth So many to see in our daily lives Was my illness to help others or to bring me closer to you You have my heart as it was given to me by you my unconditional love to maybe one share with another am I the serpent worker Never will evil take my life mind soul Angels are my protectors as a mother failed her daughter time and time again my remorse runs so deep to have no comprehension as a mother myself who made the decision never to marry again for if my father can say and do what's absoluty forbidden How is it he commits suicide on top of his sick ways I can forgive yet she lives kicks her kids to the curb I long gone and take on a man I believe she was working on her now ex-husband she lives with and his four children who is not my father I was 17 when I left what was suppose to be a safe ENVIRONMENT for a man who watched my father beat me and for that man George tell him "if I ever catch you touching her I will kill you" I was eight ���� Father I understand so much more as you have been my teacher I will keep looking for your signs as I have connected to the Great I Am I will continue to be true to you my children the ones I connected to as you make this all possible There are no accidents in life I am connected to all not by chance This I know without doubt So I will do my best to honor the Ten Commandments and practice a better way of dealing with my pain spiritual physically and try to stay out of my OWN WAY As thy will be do on earth as it is in heaven Amen Love to all
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Mark56 (04-07-2014) |
04-07-2014, 02:14 PM | #986 | ||
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Elder
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Love and peace to you today Eva. The Jamaicans call the body and spirit together " I and I " Your spirit speaks loud and clearly. My "I and I" send love your way, with a host of angels to help you right now. I hope your pain goes away in your body and in your spirit. I don't know why God the father permits such pain to exist. If it is to teach, you already have learned. Your sins did not cause this Eva. I don't think God visits pain on us really Eva, it is the way of the world and I think all we can do is pray to be able to handle whatever comes our way. I am thinking about you right now. ginnie
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (04-07-2014), Hannabananna (04-07-2014), Mark56 (04-07-2014), PamelaJune (04-07-2014) |
04-07-2014, 03:58 PM | #987 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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it was around 10:00 A.M. trying to hold on you are a grown woman live life and most importantly be yourself true to your heart and remember one thing give it time as time is reveling i love you and want nothing but love and happiness forever it's been a tough road for you also time to be happy
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04-07-2014, 05:01 PM | #988 | ||
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Elder
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Yes, I was out getting blood work done....fun fun fun....
I will be home stuck in the rain all day tomorrow. Do call, I want to hear from you. Sean has my car for tomorrow. Plan a quiet day. Don't worry I will take my time with my new adventure. God does indeed reveal what he wants for us. love you Eva. ginnie |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (04-07-2014), Hannabananna (04-07-2014), Mark56 (04-07-2014), PamelaJune (04-07-2014) |
04-09-2014, 11:07 AM | #989 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day it has been a long time for my heart be like stone the uncertainty of another as i write on this forum i write for the world to see i am scared when there is that possibility who it is i may speak to of anyone on the computer Father my gut speaks to me this man who calls himself Robert Lopez of e Harmony to meet a possible match at this juncture of my life not able to be out there in the world those that i have had interest in would either be blocked or one i actually spoke with in the end asking me to purchase a ticket for him to come to the USA stopped immediately how strange it be that Robert sound very familiar Father guide me why put something my way that might harm me i am not desperate i have been a single mother for a very good reason you who knows all would you allow that kind of harm come my way you have given us free will to do the right thing and come to you first in everything why am i so suspicious in this person he sounds just like Ethan and i told him Father my gut tells me to be skeptical Father would you allow harm to come my that way am i not to share of my honest ways and be so gullible at the same time i have a heart of stone for being skeptical for so long i have not put my heart out in that way my gut says no i feel the coincidence of them having the same accent in itself as i told him is uncanny and i must go with my gut help me see i am right Father i will see a new doctor with my last MRI results three doctors not to suggest to a rule out test how does one take such findings as mine and just leave it be my gut speaks to me until then it is branded into my head my life uncertain what the future holds Father either way i must act not with my will but because i have reason why why my whole life a big long mess to clean up before i die to be remembered hope to be remembered tried her best at all she did Father we are all special and want to feel that way yet i don't this may be ridiculous to some however i bring my concerns for all to see this has become my live journal all i speak of true happenings none made up the real thing as only YOU Father guide me in Jesus i trust
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Mark56 (04-10-2014) |
04-09-2014, 12:50 PM | #990 | ||
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Elder
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Be careful of anyone you meet. I follow this advice too Eva. Watch a persons actions, not just what they say. Anytime someone wants a ticket or money that is reason to be shy of getting involved. I don't know much about e-harmony, but I thought about trying that myself at one time.
Please let me know the results of what your doctors say. They must inform you of what is going on Eva. Call me anytime. I hope today that your pain is less than yesterday. xxxginnie |
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