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04-09-2014, 08:03 PM | #991 | |||
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Senior Member
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I've sent you both a PM about E-harmony. Strength and prayers to you both
Last edited by PamelaJune; 04-09-2014 at 08:25 PM. |
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04-09-2014, 09:51 PM | #992 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
i heed to the warning trust me i just could't imagine something like that you just never know love me
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someone who cares eva |
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04-10-2014, 04:06 PM | #993 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day confused usually when the weather is dry and nice my pain is not magnified as barometer does affect me and my knees feet hips hurt so badly lasts night the most i did was go to scheduled doctors appointment pain specialist just a few towns away not anything a person does in their home such as tidy up take shower dress it is difficult sometimes to dress take the dreaded elevator there was not much walking involved so i rule out any over doing it the night before there was much muscle twitching it was mentioned to my doctor and he asked if i was taking my muscle relaxant answer yes Father again am i okay did my cancer migrate this will be ruled out soon my body has become so fragile in many areas and this is not seen by another i eat healthy the best i can and i am as i am and do the best with it and still not bad to another who does not know me on a good day wouldn't know and that's great but my kids should be a little more compassionate to some things i can't do myself then wind up doing it myself in anger as anger and pain masked for a while and finish a job i suffer immediately when relaxed so i am hip to the gig the nortriptyline 50mg a night to help not doing the job as i see i am on something for three months now paying attention Father my mind can not be at ease until i have diagnosis ruled out and i will move on i pray all is well with me in this situation my granddaughter is my saving Grace i have reared her well a happy baby a beautiful baby a brilliant imagination a wonderful heart a aunti Corissa who see the love as she remembers what special things i did for her especially the breakfasts and when we played legos my grand baby as all my children lovvvvvvvvvvvve them she still needs me as mom is still in and out of recovery some of the delay is moms understanding she needs to do alone recovery finish the program and i will continue to help i have custody as it is and i want to keep it temporary mommy will i pray get it its has been a long tough road and the workers don't know if they are coming or going not a surprise like loose most all of file Father only you know my headache of many not doing their job experiences with child support department i know only too well thank you for your love and allowing me to share
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Mark56 (04-10-2014), PamelaJune (04-10-2014) |
04-13-2014, 09:51 AM | #994 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day A call from my sister I missed She called distressed over very important issues many brought on by self Nevertheless she picked up the phone no one on this earth is meant to suffer yet we do Our mother land Africa a place I happened to be born in city Durban Her and I talked for four hours on our past the choices made opportunities past on by as I reared three babies at twenty four My sister lived with some fun time something I am glad she did as where she is now I wish on no one a mother of one my nephew seventeen honor student in a reputable school yet lives in a dysfunctional home front His father lives with her and son and divorced but there to help I intent today was to bring her to a meeting Did not happen Maybe next Sunday Where is my blessing By her calling Looking for answers and healing To be able to speak of the Great I Am Brother Jesus his mother Mary Oh how great it was to connect understand our lives realize our life as children was not of normalcy for she too experienced did not only happen to me but also her And when all hell broke loose for myself as my birth parent was in denial at the expense of her children It was when her now ex-husband she still lives with Caught him learing at my then twelve years old and to boot I had a few good glasses of red wine in me It was one of the few TRULEY bad storm enough of that turd from my own father SICK SICK SICK And this be the reason of staying single meant for me after my divorce why I still am single Blessed I am to have had some knowledge of my own personal experience It took her to tell my birth parent it happened too her How phethic SAD SAD SAD I always knew my birth parent was selfish even making him a father she had trouble getting pregnant And then I was born Am I bad mouthing her No It is the truth The blessing I can be there for her hope to help her and bring her to a meeting a twelve step program and begin there It was so good to talk actually listened This be a very important And I can My baby girl Corissa a decision very difficult to do however with the help and the only ones qualified to make any kind of assment it would be from them and we all agree I received a call from her father told him of my decision and he supports it Because of certain situation beyond my control and the school failing not only my daughter but my personal constant contact with guidence counselor teachers who took my concerns to heart but when a child does not show up as she would rather hang out and socialize in lunch or in school suspension classes and worry about being accepted the clothing that was an issue as uniforms are the conditions and her challenging the school rules by changing her clothes into what others wore so she would argue with me until I gave up as the others made it impossible for me to challenge even though I brought it to the attention to the adults that did diddly squat So Ged next step with a part-time job as all the trials failed including her father Only now is he taking me seriously just four years too late Now he understands the mistake the iPhone was the first MAJOR MISTAKE and bet too agreed Blessed to have a strong persona only those who TRULEY know me take it seriously others will difine me as a *itch and that's fine they are of not my concern and no person will interrupt her progress and be that strong independent self sufficient and love her job This is my job to help her I also made it clear how the school failed me Do we not follow the rule "No child left behind" I make no excuses for my daughters behavior And I am very aware where she needs help by the grace of God We as a strong family will do all we can to guide her She understand she HAS TO PUT IT INTO PLAY Not PAUSE MODE I shall give her last summer as a teenager Come September she will be a teenager living in the adult world Father Jesus Mother Mary I trust your guidence May we PREVEIL in this situation Thank you for my blessings I receive on a daily basis Amen!
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 04-14-2014 at 07:43 AM. Reason: typo |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Hannabananna (04-14-2014), Mark56 (04-19-2014) |
04-13-2014, 09:06 PM | #995 | |||
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Senior Member
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Eva, as always, I read your posts and I am moved beyond tears for all that you endured as a child, a teenager, a young mother, a motivated divorcee to a passionate adult and now as a grandmother. You have faced much adversity in the short time you have been on this earth. We are blessed to have you share your experiences in such an honest and forthright manner and humbled by your reverent faith in the almighty. There are many who would let their faith be overcome with bitterness for all you have experienced. I confess in the beginning when I first began to read your posts I found them confusing, but as I began to understand your style of writing and the manner in which you approached taboo subjects I came to appreciate and understand the vastness of time that weighs heavily on your mind and soul. I wish heartily I could wave a magic wand and release you from your burdens as I'm sure many of our fellow NT"rs would. I know however that wishes rule only in a fantasy land, and in that land, I would not have had my life enriched by the pleasure of coming to know and understand you. I truly hope your children awaken soon to the wonderful woman they have in their life and begin to show you the compassion and appreciation you deserve.
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04-14-2014, 07:38 AM | #996 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day bless i am to feel your love and understanding you figured out the puzzle as i am in hope that my open life free me of the hardest pain ever to let go of your mother you have the key to my stone heart you have been paying attention oh how free it feels that i feel understood i the female version of Forest Gump all about family and all the stories to tell PamelaJune you have touch me like no other in a long time i am in awe you figured me out all of it thank you for the honor of you words of understanding and encouragement the best i could hope for is reaching another as i did you i am moved beyond words and what i wish for you in your life with all you meet all not by chance my signs from up above are real i tell you with no doubt our God as you choose to have Faith in as no one can ever deny Jesus Christ walked this earth human he was and if in the present world would be in awe of what he left behind free will our sin taken and forgiven gave us kindness goodness love of your neighbor his father the Ten Commandments his son the Lords Prayer i wish you a speedy recovery in our pain Jesus my Brother has carried me without doubt i give my honesty when i speak to the world many here with unspoken understanding many here have compassion like no other many here suffer as we understand pain the thaught to die on a physical level and to die spiritually hurts me so it is awfully hard to hang on some days i want to say thank you for the world to see it matters we matter just hanging on until things ease up a bit never will i entertain the evil that lurks never may your day be extra in everything that is good know you made this very proud mimma (grandma) a happy amount of tears tears of love happiness has found that little girl inside me at fifty three and helped heal her in the most profound way i will never forget how i felt reading your words Blessings to you and your loved ones thank you for my Blessing wishing all a belly laugh in your day amazed me
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 04-14-2014 at 10:32 AM. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Hannabananna (04-14-2014), Mark56 (04-19-2014) |
04-15-2014, 02:36 AM | #997 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
my pain wakes me by the thumping of my body parts hips knees ankle even feet my fingers mummified in pain my heart bleeds for my broken children it pains me so she is home with baby could not stay away and had no where to go how can i turn my back on my child or grandchild i can't it comes with so much suffering it hurts so badly how is it i knew she would have this personality i seen it as a baby she knew how to manipulate well and my birth mother help her sharpen it not in a good way her and her now ex-husband now live in boyfriend not my father i can't i will always be there always me help me Father
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04-17-2014, 09:27 AM | #998 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Mother Mother Mary thank you for another day so we get a chore out of the way food shopping and oh the fun she had and i get to watch her as both my older children were given a list of things to get myself and Eva were in the produce section of the store and where the food court was and she was so special with her shopping cart what a blast how well she behaved it was the grownups i wanted to punch both my older children Corissa to Eva is Christine to Corissa it is incredible the bickering back and forth and i hear Christine be upset with the baby telling her to pick up her toys makes me so upset that i just want to punch one of them we come home and she still is helping mimma put the grocery away while the sisters bicker this baby has a blast she is going to bake a cake today with mimma a birthday cake we had pancakes for dinner the other night and i had her come in on her stool crack the eggs in a separate bowl and the melted butter i put in the batter she through in her love and cinnamon we love that spice in all baking goods but the excitement as she builds me a cake out of her legos she says "mimma, we're going to make a real cake with the eggs and shell right? this is what its all about and the sisters are still bickering on and on and on and on and Eva gets it i pay close attention nothing passes me up and i need to put it into perspective get order in ones house make them understand i am HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD PERIOD this my mother daughter doesn't get it yet she best get a picture of the real thing and leave Corissa out of any Bull Turd there will be order and respect i my love of my Father please help me guide them and not let them take advantage of me purposely this is what i shall do today blessing to be thankful for Brother hold me up Amen!
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04-17-2014, 03:51 PM | #999 | ||
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Junior Member
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Eva, I am so touched and mentally moved by your words. PamalaJune covered them so well there isn't much else to say. Let me share with you what I saw with my minds eye as I read your words. I saw a lady reaching out to share her joys and sadness of over five decades on this earth. A person who gave of herself freely when others failed to fulfill there responsibilities to men and ladies alike. When they didn't or were not able to be a mom or dad caregiver or provider, you took on the task expecting nothing in return. You must have the broadest shoulders Eva to carry so many tasks. You performed when others failed.
You took me from Africa as a little girl that did not have a great childhood by any means to New Jersey as a Grandmother [ proud Grandmother ] The journey as I saw it was filled with a heavy load for you and at the many crossings you encountered . You take on the burden of your daughter and hope for success this time and we also pray she can go the 12 steps and stay in the program and possibly ease your burden some. I think we all know how difficult it is to raise a teenager especially a girl. They are so trendy and have to be with the "style" of the day. When we cut them loose we pray they will remember their teaching and morals as they journey into a world that can be very very hard. You have had so many lows and highs Eva. You didn't have a good Father figure or a good husband and had to fill both duties. It makes me almost cry as PamelaJune stated. I was blessed with a fantastic lady that has been by my side through my whole trip with our marriage and RSD. I would not be here now if not for her. I know you are against another marriage but a good soul mate is a good thing Eva. Just like RSD, never give up hope. You are a precious and great lady Eva, your posts inspire me. I pray that your prayers are answered and your days go well. My blessing is easy. I am blessed to wake up every day and I thank GOD for that every day also. My hands and feet don't work as they used to but my eyes never changed. I have watched my children get married, enter the business world, buy homes, have children [ our grandchildren ] and watch the third generation grow up. What more could I ask for? I went through the pity parties and mourning and depression [which I still battle] and have left most of that in the past. I can't change the past. Hugs to you and yours Eva, may your days be smooth as glass for a change. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (04-17-2014), ginnie (04-17-2014), Hannabananna (04-17-2014), Mark56 (04-19-2014), PamelaJune (04-17-2014) |
04-17-2014, 04:42 PM | #1000 | ||
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Elder
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You already know I feel the same as krow does about you. You take burdens to God, and give freely to all that know you. Thank you for being my friend too. ginnie
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