Prayers and keystrokes, prayers and keystrokes.....

Surrounding.......

Lifting up......

Amen,

I made from a line of addicts to be a recovering way is now 23
years and then becoming ill with this body riddled with the
PAIN I now suffer with is a real bummer as I feel I have been
robbed of that sobriety time being on these Meds
It is beyond that now my babies are suffering one way or
another and I can't do anything about it so keep moving
forward and holding on to the Lords Prayer and call upon
the Angels

Someone who cares and cries deeply

as i type she is talking to my daughter
who says she needs to be pampered
spoken gentle to
i am mom
she knows when i am angry
this family is doing what they can including
taking in some furniture
while she goes into another program
does that make it okay to pick up if you miss Eva
as you say you do
you want a program that brings you two together
all i want is mom and daughter together
how dare she
i expressed i needed to do to get myself together
as things could have been like my daughter
and maybe just maybe because it is mandatory
you get high (because you miss the baby)
when the computer went i was gifted with an iPod
not a phone but it allows me to do live talk it's called
facetime telling her after she stole my medicine from me
i cannot allow her into my home (okay i get it) and today
she still in her high reminded you may facetime anytime
you want see the baby
but to consciously say i need pampering
i responded i always have your back
but the baby needs pampering
i MUST stop enabling you with everything in my being
it HURTS SO BADLY but i did it voluntarily "sobriety is
worth the hurt" and trust me it Hurts this much i know
as mush as in Jesus i TRUST
Amen!

pray she gets it

someone who cares

everyone else knows better

they don't

well versed for sure

I live in it


Someone who cares

Dear Lord
My same ill feeling when your
child sees what pain does to those
we love
MessyMark said what I feel for my daughter
and although things are just exactly the way
it is supposed to be I am not afraid as I trust my
Lord JESUS is carrying us and provides
Love in replacing a monster
If i morph let it be in the eyes
of child

MY GRANDCHILD FILLED WITH UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

INNOCENT HONESTY
BEAUTIFULLY BRUTAL

someone who cares

So today has been a rough one the Gaba is not helping much or the hydrocodon either of flexeril.
It seems as though nothing is working the pain has been in lower back and down both legs today hurting like a S.O.B along with muscle spasms. I have pushed through it all day worked on Jade's (my littlest girl 6yr old) bike today fixed two flats for her and raised the seat also (she's getting so tall). Cooked dinner for us.Made blackened grilled chicken salad. Chicken cooked in (homemade) garlic butter sauce with cajun seasoning. Made salad from scratch non of this premixed salad mix. Bathed our largest dog also today . Accomplished a lot but have been paying for it all day knew if I stopped I would not continue with anything that needed to get done. So the day is over and now is the time to pay the pied piper .

dear Messymark
when i read you experiences strength and hope
i cannot help but see myself in the mirror when i read
it is almost scary
i commend you jobs well done
each chore was something that once was simple
i miss my dog
i gave him his baths
anyhow just getting the chores for
taking care of your little girl
kudos to you, hats off, bravo
this to me is a sign in some way
love her hold her squeeze her never let her go....
you are daddy the first man she falls in love with
i wish you a joyful life may she bring you belly laughs
so happy for you and sharing


someone who cares

picture is totally beautiful

someone who cares

Thank you for the comments on my Photography I have a blog where I post a lot of my photos just type in messymark.com and you will be taken to my page. again thank you. Also she is our world.

Dear friends
Make no mistake
any and all of my writing
is truth to the core
when Messy wrote of who
WE LOVE MOST sometimes
sees that MONSTER unfold
when I miss my Meds or
something happens like last
week end missed four days of
Meds and put myself through
ACCIDENTAL WITHDRAWAL ZAP
just like that because of me
Point pain and withdrawals not
NOT SO NOT pretty
My angel Corissa who has been
nothing but my ANGEL
who deserves nothing but the best
in everything she experiences
I have to show her how we move
on and make it to the next
DAY
as I BELEIVE in miricles
it happens everyday
I love being a mother and grandma
Blessed I am to have had four babies
Blessed I am

Someone who cares