When I was going through an incredibly awful time with a close family member's severe illness and disbelieving/unhelpful/hurtful legal system, a friend and fellow church member told me this. I know no one's situation is ever the same but I hope it can give you a measure of the comfort it gave me:

When my church family was asked to pray for our family in the "silent" prayers said in service one Sunday, my friend told us she felt as though all the prayers being said there and all the prayers that had been and would be said were gathering into a small tornado and that tornado was branching off and surrounding each member of our family and each of us who hurt, making a sort of "fierce cocoon of God's love" that not only held us tightly but also protected us, even though we could not see that protection and had many times of doubt. Every time things got so awful that the sadness/frustration/anger/pain/fatigue etc. seemed to well up, I would think of that cocoon of prayers and love that all those who cared about me (God included) had surrounded me with and how it was with me always to hold me up and be there to lean on. Sometimes the focus on the knowledge of all that love was only able to make things a tiny bit better, but it always seemed that even that tiny bit gave me the strength and hope I needed. I see all the love and prayers that your fellow members are pouring out for you and I hope that my story might help magnify and make that love last longer for you. And even though I'm new, I hope that you will accept one more prayer, offered with love and hoping you will have a chance to feel the tornado around you!

judge also
God is great!lots of:grouphu g::grouphu g::


someone that cares

Yup,

I just want to let you know
I understand your message
I had to come back and read
this as I will replace the havoc
with the outpouring of concern
and a very empowering view
THANK YOU FOR YOUR INSIGHT

someone who care
GOD BLESS

i don't have to much to say
other than having to
start over again
really
no kidding
dear Lord
hear our prayers
on this road i revisit

Sending prays for you. Please let us know how you are and remember there are many here who care!

z

your well wish accepted

my shrink put it into perspective
"i wake up with my surgeon and
retire to bed with him"
i do not under any circumstances
wish for such a thing
i am so happy to have found this
wondrous place a home of persons
one by one day by day here this place
a place i was welcomed into as
a beginner
thank you

would someone shut the FRONT door

how is this to be almost identical
to my experience
now on my left side ache
a dull gnawing
oh my God not the left
and its not going away
this pinching in my neck
i am certain all of us
experience as if your
most sensitive and hurtful
i refer to it as a sweet spot
kind of pain magnified to
almost black out pain

I AM TOTALLY PERPLEXED
WHAT THE FRUIT IS
GOING ON

i can point to my pain
in my left shoulder
all this is replay
LORD I ASK YOU
PLEASE EXCUSE MY
BEHAVIOR
if that is what is the problem
being honest a life choice
rarely chosen
for now this is enough
said

raised 4 children
last like an only child
when am i going to stop
being a doormat
took the phone away
jeez
you have got to be kidding me
i am so overdone
my brain it's done
it'll just chill
i going to try and go to sleep
tired i am
lord hear our prayers

the little strength i have left
my adult children suck out of me
i REFUSE TO BE A DOORMAT
WIPING THEIR GRIMY
FEET IN MY HOME
GET THE PICTURE
my daughter who i give and give
my help as she oh no wait i have two more
adult children i just dote over
had to use my plastic card to get her 5 bras
as her husband isn't beneath any kind of work
high school sweethearts yet mom is buying her bras
that can fit her properly as her back and shoulders hurt
triple D
then i like a donkeys *** give her and him
600 bucks from a loan i took out
to pay for her storage

then i have my son who till yet to make
any payment sept 50 bucks oct 50 bucks
he owes me over 5000 bucks 3000 loan and
2000 for his leather couch on my card that i just paid off

and this selfish child that is mommy to my granddaughter
has no control as she picked up again and again and again
i have custody what will she do
how much more pain does there have to be
i vowed 2014 i'm not taking anymore turd from anyone
not even my children

i have a fifteen year old who needs me and i will
be here for Eva also
after a terrible argument she hounded her mother
to allow her to say goodnight to me
i mean really

it is my time to get my house in order
then tackle my apartment as it is far from being done

once again all that has happened this passed
four or five days is call all on their turd i am not responsible
for
and i need my monies back
i am going to a slew of doctors that will need co-pays
a car that won't last much longer
dressing my adult girls as they can't do for themselves
i have a heart that gets torn to pieces each and every time
struggle for food is the last of the worse
this is not suppose to happen

oh my Father you know i do not enable my children
i just trusted them to be truthful to me

it's a horrible feeling if you feel your children do not like you as a person
and that is exactly how i feel
no if an or butts

i am by far a stupid woman
just a mother looking out for her birds
they haven't got the hang of flying down yet

i will not have any disrespect in my home
as there are rules to abide to

what is it with this fast electronic world i
am not lost in it as they are but i am learning
not to take the bull turd any more
i have 10 doctors to see
i will be getting to them alone

my grandchild and Corissa need me
and i intend to be there for them

Jesus my brother carry me my knees are
week my body aches for a couple of days
with all i have done

nobody but my savior do i trust to guide
me
i await your instructions

thank you Father
brother
mother Mary

i believe
i trust
thy will be done

i am so surprised to learn of my children true opinion
they all are selfish brats with what i had to teach them
makes me sick to my stomach
no excuses
as i said in the past
is my experience
people have problems with the truth
i have accepted their wanting out of my life
never to hear their excuses
never going to fly with
my own parent who birthed me
seems to have a problem as i answer it's me
i don't have it in me to call her mom
as she confessed what bothered her
so i said if that's what you want to hear i can do that
then she says not if it doesn't come from the heart
i say thank you for understanding like 3 times
oh i cleaned up an awful lot today
and for that my daughter assaults me
you read right she was arrested
i have her belongings together
my son did not like me asking for the monies back
not to mention his beautiful remark like
i am white trash
as i called him on the political corruption going
on in the republican party and the low life trash
people NYC police and firemen claiming all false info about there well being as the collect from 911
these are trash persons
how dare my son
how dare my oldest
how dare Christine bite the one who is on her side
as i ***** and moan all the belongings little Eva has destroyed
including mom
because mommy is occupied on the phone
or text not read to her or get on the floor with her
and play legos or tea party
ENOUGH
I WILL SURVIVE
THIS IS WHAT I AM USED TO SINCE A LITTLE GIRL
did not raise my children like trash
before my life changed my routine on Sunday was have the most four hours of ironing always sending my kids to school neat and clean
BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I AM WHITE TRASH
TODAY IS TWO YEARS MY BREAST WERE TAKEN THIS TOO
HURTS
BUT I CALLED ON IT
NO MORE TAKING TAKING TAKING TAKING
AND THIS IDIOT GIVES GIVES
I AM BURNED ENOUGH TIMES IN MY MEANINGLESS LIFE
WHAT GOOD IS IT WHEN YOU CHILDREN DO NOT EVEN LIKE YOU
CORISSA WAS VERY HURT WHAT HER BROTHER SAID
AND SHE IS HERE TO KNOW THE TRUTH OF ALL OF IT HOW THE F DO THEY THINK THEY ARE DEALING WITH
THEIR MOM LIKE THIS
NOT HAVING IT
NOT
IT WAS UGLY UGLY UGLY
SO IN THE END NEVER MADE IT TO THE HOSPITAL
FOR PICTURES OF CERVICAL AND LUMBAR W/AND WITHOUT CONTRAST
MY MAMMO IN THE SAME HOSPITAL
MY BLOOD WORK
NO MY DAUGHTER NEEDED TO BE FRESH WITH HER MOUTH
I WARNED HER KNOCK IT OFF OR YOU WILL NOT BE RETURNING HOME WITH ME AND THE BABY
SHE SAT HER BUTT ON MY COUCH AN SAID I AM NOT MOVING
I SAID MOVE AND THAT WAS IT

I AM TIRED HOPE NOT TO THINK
my knees are killing me
in addition to all the other crap

sent my surgeon the bone simulator back in it i put the best picture of my hematoma on top wrapped it in Christmas paper
and sent it certified
to be a fly on the wall
good night
thanks for letting me share
baby is doing good
as Corissa is also