Seems when one part of the body revolts the rest seems to follow one place at a time until your mind gets in with the rest, then there is no rest. Just the" what its" and the" why me" thought I had done this long, long ago. Guess it goes to show it's never really done

dear pooh
i understand
i learned a long time ago
never say never
you do it one day at a time
and so many to lean on including myself

someone that cars

Pulling for you in all things, and hope sleep, restful comforting sleep will not elude you.

Hugz,

Unfortunately it's always lurking. Caring and sharing are so important.


Gerry

Mine is totally messed up!!! I usually pass out with boys for 30-60 minutes. Awake at 9:20. Back to sleep at 12:30-1. Awake 4-5 hours later. I am getting used to it. Back sore - nerve root referred pain from what I've read. Goes away when I get moving.

I drink caffeine like nuts then a couple beers before bedtime. I'm just surviving!!!!

Today i had the day off. Dropped kids at school. Drove to northern Marin county and took longest bike ride of my life - 50 miles. Scs at high power. That's the beauty of the bike. I am clipped in. I have good core strength. At that setting my walking would be zombie like. On a bike- no prob!!!!! Picked kids up played fort in the woods. My 7 yo finally loving reading.

My life was awesome. Then terrible. It's closer to awesome than terrible now. Each day is a battle. Today the enemy, my CRPS, crushed. He will be back tomorrow to mess with me. I'll fight that rat bastard.

On call Sunday - saw a rn i have known for years with a sub dural hematoma (blood smashing her brain) and she had gotten clumsy. When I saw her , she said "hug me" - you bet your *** i hugged her.

Neurological disease - scary stuff we all know. She'll be ok i think, but i know her fear. I live it. I felt a real sense of purpose - for her nobody could do a better job that day. That really meant something to me.

I should try to go to sleep - I'm off topic!

SLEEP
SLEEP
SLEEP
SLEEP
SLEEP
SLEEP
Ahhh......sleep

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

dear MD
i love you upbeat attitude
i a 52 year young woman
was beaten down
i a active woman
love volleyball
a mother of four
divorced young
stayed single to date
waitressed 5 nights a week 9-10 hour
did that so i could be available
for my family need be
only by the grace of God and
my will to be responsible
for my children
i am not boasting
about my struggles
i had no clue how
at this point of my life
working as a city employee
and a chance to then begin
things like a pension, benefits
paid time off paid vacation
but most importantly a break
on my body
as i was all by choice alone
with my babies
now a mimma (grandmother)
it brings me to my not having the strength
to hold her when she was born
to pick up a knife and cook
my passion taken
i served many people in my time
and to be stagnant in most everything
and to the point of having to change my
clothing i wear bras that i could slip my feet into
pulling it up even that is without pain
to read you kick butt squashing that monster
is a persona i once harbored like nothing could
take me down with all i had to go through in
my lifetime don't know if i would change anything
but my mind is like your body crushing that monster
are the meds i'm forced to be on
i so enjoy reading your kicking butt
may it prevail in your life and never stop
i lay in depression
pardon my expression have put some men to shame
as i am a doer doer doer may have taken me down
i wish your world and family a strength of loving
each other with just the simple things in life
such as taking your children to school
i have minimal ability to drive and cannot
drive my daughter to school since seventh grade
it made a big difference not for the better
PEACE BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
AND STRENGTH TO BATTLE THAT MONSTER
YOU GO MAN KICK THAT BASTARDS BUTT

someone who cares

Thanks Eva. If I am armed (scs), I'm gonna max that thing out. Being an athlete is part of my core identity. It's worth fighting for. It's the only antidepressant that works on me and my legs feel better after. The next day is the crapshoot.

Not the fastest not the slowest. But the most amazed. If I have a short day at work i get on that bike. I want to do the bay areas hardest ride - 57 miles with over 5000 feet of climbing. Getting there.

Took my 6 yo hiking with my dad Sunday. We did a 5-6 miler. By the end, was bugged a bit by legs. But it was a good day. Regaining some degree of patience with my kids- they aren't easy boys. One on one time was great. Kind of bummed about my dad- he always hurries off for something mundane - in a rush. He doesn't understand the priceless nature of connecting with your son or grandson. Spotted turkey vultures and hawks and my boy climbed into one of the 16" guns that used to populate the coast. He's smart as a whip, but has ADD. A real handful, but i love him for it (usually).