Originally Posted by PamelaJune

I've done this a couple of times now over the last 10 years. I've done it of my own volition as I hate taking the drugs, and once I'm off them I've been so proud of myself, gone to the doctors and been told off and put straight back in them.
I've never heard the term "drug holiday" I'm speechless, it just reinforces to me where 90% of these doctors think we are drug users taking them for choice and choice alone, not driven by pain.
I fluffed about on another post somewhere about an article that had been published that ended with "if doctors spent more time talking to the patients, interacting and establishing a dialogue we would be able to get to the root of our problem and potentially get over it" I did say on my posting that I may have misinterpreted the article as my mind is not as sharp as it used to be having had so many anaesthetics, had the seizures and taken the dreaded drug Xanax so maybe some of you could take a look at the article and my posting and share your valuable opinions with me.
Becky, I think you are braver than brave to continue with a Dr that will not use sedation for procedures, yes I've had many small steroid injection procedures in my PM office suite that didn't require sedation and they didn't really hurt much and I'm happy to have those done without sedation. But the RF and nerve blockers done under fluoroscopy.... since I had the "totally awake" one at the SKG X-ray where I cried and they could hear me in the waiting room, I've always since been sedated for those ones. They injected directly into the nerves and the man doing it said it was good I was feeling the pain as it meant they got the correct spot. All you who do this without sedation you have my utmost admiration.

Originally Posted by pamelajune

hi folks, i got the call on late tuesday afternoon that my pm had a cancellation and they could do my procedure on weds if i was available. Yes yes, of course i was. My mum took me in at 12.30 and at 2.15 off to theatre i went. On coming round my pm came to me and said he had found something. I'm waiting now to hear from them as to what it is they found, part of me thinks it will be what we thought all the long that a fusion to l2/3 will be needed. Anyway, at least things are happening. My bloods came back normal and thats good news.

Originally Posted by PamelaJune

I can't tell you how much my heart hurts when I read your stories of the pain you endure and the attempts you make to live fulfilling lives. As y'all know I don't have CRPS, I'm stuck with chronic lower, upper and cervical pain, fibromyalgia, PN, a dodgy bowel, a compromised immune system and these never ending headaches.

I try, I really try every day to be positive and to start to do things to live a life. I'm only 52 and I'm determined to prove them wrong and be able to work again. In August my minimum wage superannuation payments will stop so I need to be well enough to be able to get back into the workforce to relieve some of this burden from my husband as I won't qualify for disability due to his income. I'm waiting on a cancellation appt to get into see my PM as the scheduled June 6 is too far away. If I need to have another spinal fusion or the Boston paddle and laminotomy I really would like to get it done while I can still afford hospital bills and medication etc.

I'm over, totally over feeling blue, sore and sad. So I've gone mad and booked tickets to go to the football this Sunday to see our footy team, no clue how I'm going to manage the train journey, the stadium walk and staircase to our seats, but at least we are not up in the nose bleed stands... It will be worth it to see my husband smile, I will as usual have my walking stick and if the crowds (expecting 44000) are pushy i will stand back and make my way after it begins and finishes. And then on Tuesday I've booked to go away down South for 3 nights to my birth town and stay in a lovely B&B self contained oldy worldy cabin that has its own spa so taking champagne, chocolate and cheese. The great news is the local hospital where I was born is only 200 meters away so Lyndon feels it's manageable lol.

I just had to do something, I can see him slumping further and further in the depths of depression as he struggles to accept he is the main breadwinner and I may never return to work. I'm praying I can just get these procedures done before August and that they will work. Something has to go our way sooner or later. I used to be so house proud, now its all I can do to clean the bathroom, kitchen and make the bed. We have a biggish house and I can't do anything outside other than water. Running the vacuum fills me with dread and dusting is so over rated ha ha. Today I've dragged the vac and all the cleaning materials out and tomorrow first thing as soon as I've taken my meds I'm starting. Lyndon will leave for work at 5am so I can begin before it gets to hot. That way the house will be clean for when mum comes for her Friday night roast that I cook and it will still be clean enough for her to stay here next week and mind the pets. Amazingly family members who always rely on me to help them out when they need it are unavailable. Gee what a surprise!

Ok as you guessed, it's going to cost money, too bad, I will scrimp on something else. I rarely go out and in comparison to what we used to spend this will be bottle tops. Hmm maybe I should make it beer, cheese and nuts instead...

Originally Posted by PamelaJune

Just to let y'all know, I cleaned and cleaned, I took to it with a vengeance and it took me over 6 hours. I'm paying for it today and even now sitting here I can see things I still want to do, you know the cobwebs in the corner behind the door of the back loo for example. Why is it we can always do a better job of it than when a cleaner comes in and does it?
I cancelled the cleaner mum had arranged for me, at $120 a week I just didn't see her as doing to things I wanted done and yes it was lovely for the month of February but I still could see what wasn't done and tbh $120 is money we just cannot afford. My mum is still trying to get her head around the fact that while before we were the bank of P&L where all family members came to us for handouts financially and emotionally we are closed. We just don't have the money for these things anymore. I haven't been to the hairdresser since September last year, I haven't spent a penny on myself other than food and medication since September.
The new fortnightly "date nights" we've done twice now and I recycled old outfits, steamed and pressed them and they came up a treat. But I felt so guilty for the money spent. I took mum home after dinner last night and bless her, she said she felt guilty she goes to the hairdresser once a week and I can't afford to go at all, it's been a shock to her, she picked up my medication from the pharmacy last month and was stunned to see the bill was $300. It's all starting to finally hit home, her youngest daughter who has always been the strong one, the one she relied on to get them out of the financial hole the older daughter put them in is not what she once was. She can finally see I'm broken. It's been a rude shock.
So today, I'm paying, paying paying, I'm walking in agony and the worst of it all is I'm expected to go out tonight. I've got the footy tomorrow which I'm Looking forward to and the trip to Pemberton also looking forward to on Tuesday, but tonight, nope, not looking forward. Oh well out with the big girl soldier pants, ends must lol. On a good note, the house is clean and I'm feeling house proud yay me...

Originally Posted by Bouncybabs

Hi, I've been through what you're being asked to do. Just take a moment, if you are still in pain despite being on a shed load of meds, then they aren't doing the job for which they're intended. It's hard, but if it helps you get on the right cocktail, then it is worth it. Saying that, at the moment, for me, nothing is helping that much. The morphine, the oxy, or whatever you're on is intended for end of life pain management, yet our doctors hear we are in pain, so they either dole out more, or put you on something else.
At the moment, I'm on more meds now that I was before I had my SCS implant! Where is the logic in that. I'm reducing my morphine at the moment, I truly do know how hard it is to come off everything. Been there, done that and born the scars etc. You never know, it might be short term pain for long term gain. Please don't think I'm being flippant, I do know how hard it is, I'm on a whole cocktail of meds, but they're not doing the job. Take care of yourself, reduce slowly, if you can't go at the speed your PM wants, stay at the level you can bear for a few days. Baby steps is my best advice. There are new drugs on the market all the time, and they might work better for you, but you can't find out without coming off your current ones. I wish you luck, and hope that the new meds give the relief that you need. oh, I've also been told about hyper analgesia, and apparently that is the state that I'm in at the moment.