Well. I'm sorry all of this has transpired Pam. You've been through so much lately.

I do believe in light at the end of the tunnel, that even IN that long and dark tunnel, the light is on-- though we don't see it. Kinda like at night, or after sunset it seems like the sun is gone, but really it's there... reflecting its light off of the moon and stars to get back to us...like a reminder that the night wont last forever...
No matter whatever they will do or say, and whatever happens, YOU are IN the LIGHT, and will always be.. though you don't see it, and even though you are having this miserable pain... So sorry you are feeling so alone, and glad you are with your husband and sharing with us. It helps me to not feel so alone in pain that you are here.


Even in the worst pain there'll be a light on...

Hana

So sORRY Pamela to learn things are....well, difficult and that fusion may be in the works in time.....not good you have to await June for another injection either. GAWSH...that is a hard one. I never had real relief from the injections so hearing you at least had some benefit makes me wonder at this great lapse of time between.

Hana and Diandra, Sorry those pains stay with you as well....and yes, as Pamela says, it can be so very disappointing not to be able to "get back to it" whether work, or play, or exercise.... I had hoped after the first BIG fusion to be able to get back to some rehabilitative skiing, as we have that here when the snow flies. Problem was, with permanent nerve damage I never regained full control/feeling in my legs, so scratch skiing. Even so, more surgeries and such helped me ultimately regain work. I do like being able to help provide for the family again. That is a reward in itself.

SO....as D suggests, focus on the getting well part of the fusion thing Pam. One step at a time. Fusion is a big thing. It took several of them finally to leave me in a situation where I can comfortably work in the office once again. But....then you know that about me.

Prayin for YOU.
Yup,

Pam
Our friends here speak such wisdom. Isn't it wonderful to be so loved
Diandra says it so beautifully in regard to accepting things as they are, one day at a time, and yes, you ARE a very strong willed person. So many of the things you say remind me of the things I say. How in the world did we get like this I've actually had several significant mental breakdowns over that question.....

But one thing to always remember and realize is that our hindsight will paint the real picture and I truly believe we will be somewhat amazed at what we will see. Once we are able to stand tall and take a good look at the path we've come thru, or in some cases - the path that the Good Lord CARRIED us thru, it won't be about what's 'become' of our lives. It will be more about WHO we've become because of these trials.
Thaaaa's RIGHT! Our purpose here on this earth will be made clear and it will be beyond what we ever thought we could be.
....ehem... That's my story and I'm stickin tuit!

BTW, I sent a moldy MOON PIE to your SIL and left a note for the postman to stuff her in the sack I enclosed.

Oh Rrae, just to let you know, I come back to this post and read it and a smile begins and before long I can feel that healthy glow that comes from within when you are amused. I can feel my face muscles stretching, my lips quiver and I have a quiet giggle. Thank you

beautifully said Pam
ditto

Saw my GP yesterday, had a myriad of paperwork to complete for my disabled car parking permit and my superannuation. I fill out all the sections for her in advance so as to save her time and I commented on how frustrating it is to have to do the disabled one each year given my condition is unlikely to improve. She looked at me and said, oh yes, that's right, I have some new correspondence here about you from one of your specialists, let's put in what it says. So I now know for sure what I did suspect, severe advanced osteoarthritis and it's not going to get better. Let's hope I get the permanent parking permit instead if having to renew it yearly. I'm positive they used to send an expiry reminder but when I queried it last week after I noticed it had long expired (back in March) the lady insisted it is my responsibility to contact them to acquire the correct forms. So for all of you with working permits, check your expiry dates!

Got 10 - 12 days relief and bam it's back again. I see my PM on June 23 I just don't know where to go from here. Pain has kicked back in with a vengeance and I'm at an all time cranky high. Hope everyone else is hanging in there. Hugs from Down under

Dear dear friend
It is a rainy forever
certain to feel like I do
I am bed bound today
My whole skeletal frame
Cracking creeking hurts to stand on
these feet
My surgeon I have ill feelings towards
never owned up to his wrong doings
from the hospital to his office
My I be a thaught for the rest of his life
He violated his oath as he took as a physician
And then lied
Yeah I upset
Pain
Today MONSTER PAIN
Lord Father hear our prayer
Our pain when beyond words
Is because we morphed into "it"
We understand
Hang on lean on
Cause we all need
Someone
We can lean on
And if you want
You can lean on me
Me

Sorry to hear the pain is back Pam. It's one of the most frustrating things that can happen to you. I guess it's back to plan x, y, or z for you. Hang in there and save the crankies for our politicians.

Phil

MrRabbit as you know who used to say needs to grow some, Mr Pyne needs to understand we all know how to say grub and Mr Hockey has stitched us all up. My medical costs will envelop me and be my end despite my having private medical health. I'm so stressed today n yesterday I resorted to the dreaded Xanax, so far no change, pain level 8, palpitations, head pounding and extreme anxiety. June 23 so you n me Phil, big dates then for us both. Mine I guess will be the decision to L3 fusion yes or no. Starting to really think yes, maybe just maybe I really will get another 15 years... Still an unhappy bod as you can see. Sorry