Hi folks, I've got the stim now on P3 L6, for those wondering, that's program 3 and level 6. From all that I have read, I'm lucky that I have the controls at hand and can program the stim myself. I knocked myself out on Thursday at the reps instructions and again yesterday, all to try and knock this headache out of the park.

To be clear, I took my normal meds in the morning at 4am (we are early risers even on Lyndon's days off) and at 3pm I took my evening meds and a 1mg Xanax. Straight off to sleep, Lyndon woke me at 7 for dinner which I ate in a daze and then straight back to sleep and up at 4am.

So I have taken the 1mg Xanax for two days straight and will not be taking it again any time soon. It's a horrid drug long term, yes it brings relief, yes it soothes your soul, but, it makes you forget what you have done and said while it's in your system and you can miss whole conversations and commitments, then, when you want to stop, it torments you with hideous withdrawal symptoms. I was on it in 2012 after the seizure for about 4 months and had withdrawal symptoms when I stopped and had to go back on and create my own plan of cutting down little by little to cease it.

My hubby is a drug detection officer and all our dogs are drug dogs, 2 now retired and active angels watching over me. Anyhow in many of the seminars hubby attends they now refer to Xanax as worse than heroin. It's that bad! Waking up this morning, the damn headache is still there along with the left arm, left hip and thoracic pain so even with the stim now at its highest the pain is not under control. I know the stim can work because I experienced relief from it in the early days and in the trial. There are days I wonder if in my past life I committed some heinous crime and paying for it in this life.

My best friend is hosting a girls get together tomorrow at 11am, smart casual dress and she has a photographer coming, she is very thoughtful, in our circle of friends many of the men have cancer or heart disease, or our parents suffering from cancer, dementia etc and she wants this day to be a celebration of life. They all accept I will be a wallflower just sitting and doing nothing, it's wonderful to have friends who are like family. My 82 year old mum is driving me there and I will taxi home as hubby working. Will leave home a little early and on the way drive past houses that mum n dad lived in when we were children. A little trip down memory lane may cheer me up.