oh my dear friend

so much so much
pain
keeping the faith
can't stop wondering
why such misery
why this feeling of doom
and i wake every day
praying to the Father
please release me from
this pain
so much taken
it hurts so badly
so badly
no option
i have to keep going
little Eva needs me
as do my children
my youngest needs to go
to NA meetings
oh the sadness
me

as a mother
help me strengthen
my heart
as a mother
help me protect
and let them see
as a mother
help me understand
how to live when your children
are suffering
as a mother
who suffered ultimate pain
guide my
bless me with your strength
in your Sons name
Jesus
bless this family
with hope
Love is unconditional
may i do right
and not harm
i trust in You Brother
me

peace to all
amen

Dear Father

this evening I was touched by an Angel
to have a net of compassion love hope
and Faith through the suffering
and just like that
blessings in a big way
paying it forward
may you not fall
but instead have the wings
necessary to fly
and if you just might be afraid
an Angel may appear and fly with you
till you feel safe
i was touched by an Angel
God blessed me with an Angel
me

She has caused to much heart ache
And continues to do so
She calls as if nothing
She has nothing to say
I have a place to put my head down
Tonight I cannot have her here
Maybe tomorrow
Tomorrow
This I am juggling
Whether I like it or not
Two who are cursed with
ADDICTION DEPRESSION NO ACCOMPLISHMENT IN LIFE
NO DIRECTION BAM YOUR IN IT
WHAT AM I TO DO
Pray pray pray pray pray
That all be okay in the end
Me

for you eva

Thank you Lara
I had no idea
I am not gadget smart
But I must learn
Something I did not know about
afraid to venture into unchartered waters
Apologies
Me

Dear eva,
I'm not 100% sure, but I wonder which gadgets you need to learn.

I hope you didn't think I posted those links at the bottom of my post for you.
They're just in my signature so that when I help people in the New Member's Forum, they may get some help from them.

I was simply sending you a huge hug because I care and don't like to see you in so much pain.

I'll leave off the signature file when I post this and you'll see the difference.

Especially conscious of dear friend Eva, lifting up prayer for BLESSINGS this rainy day in Colorado.

Love,
Mark56

blessings to all who suffered
a horrible death
blessings to those who still suffer the massive
loss of a true melting pot
blessings to those who are lifting me
that carries a heavy heart
blessings to all those who suffer depression
it is a place of darkness i wish on no one
not wanting to bring my pain
in a constant beat of physical pain
so comes the beat of spiritual suffering
my dear dear friends
to be at this Time of my life
lived my life expectancy half a century
with a cross that has gotten heavier
and heavier until my physical state
has begun to break down at what should
have been a peek time so they say
my dear Father
with no option but to move forward as hard as it is
still typing with my pencil and letter by letter
laying on my left side
am compelled to write today
to be reminded today that is very clear in these eyes
living where i do
oh what a horrible day
had my first panic attack
it was a late fall day
with a orange huge in the air
i thaught we were attacked bomb
hit just waiting for the wind of fire

i have morbid thoughts every once in a while since then
even in my dreams

Father help me in this difficult time
as only You know my heart
my Love abundant
my pain and sorrow trumps
oh bless us all
keep my children safe
i miss my dog
me

sweet Mother
my heart in such turmoil
a sane person i am
today a taste of what the season
has in store for this body
blessed to still have a car
in a couple of years will be needed to be driven
today there is no option in bed
when i was up early again
my body to follow
to pray you give me comfort
of the emotional support
needed to go on
my heart muscle has been
acting up
when on my left side
i feel the irregular rhythm
sometimes the feeling is up my neck
pretty intense at times
the summer gone bye bye
in a heartbeat not a very good one at that
need to get some kind of motivation
would be wonderful if i could be involved in
yoga classes to help strengthen important muscles
it help with balance something i suffer with
and must be careful
most projects are done on the
floor
and to ave my mind not well
makes it that much harder
this morning i was on the floor tending to the garbage
it was the only way
and then to get up help from my kid
i couldn't get up it hurt all over
and then i began to think
i'm still young
i'm so afraid of getting old
with this horrible monster pain
help me be a better mother
and look at the brighter things
that are pure joy and most times
it comes from my family my children
and most certainly my granddaughter
may today be bright
for anyone who feel beaten down
and feel they have no way out
it's so lonely
me