Father
Brother
Mother Mary

you have given me so much to go through
this will be year three Corissa is failing school
and she doesn't care

she walked out while i was taking a shower
asked her to watch Eva
never thinking she would leave
there was a note under my bedroom door
that reads
i love you
i'm sorry

i'm terrified

it wasn't a good day
shes gone
i don't know where she is
God bring her back safe
bring her back home
to me
please
i hurts so badly
please hear me
i cannot hang on any longer

i am so over and scared
where is she
she isn't dressed for this weather
she want to be at her dads
we were in conference about removing her
she was in fear her brother was coming to talk to her
the note was clear
she left
WHY OH WHY Father
me

Dearest Eva,

I wish I could do more to help you thru this phase with Corissa. Know you and your family are in my prayers. As you know I have special interest in Corissa; my hearts hurts for what is happening; I can only imagine what you are feeling.

I believe one day she will realize what a good mother she has and will eventually, as she matures, learn to really appreciate all you are to her.

Thankful you are there for beautiful little Eva. You are needed and have much work to do. God will give you the strength to get thru each day "One Day at a Time".


Gerry

I have found it difficult to write this past week, the Cluster Headaches and double vision have been constant, but…
Our family hurt us most by being the closest to us. I have the same thing with my eldest daughter, and she is 29 and living with me AGAIN with her son. Corissa will come to realise that she needs you one day - I hope for your peace of mind it is soon. I am sure it will be.
Try not to let worry drive you deeper down, you must think of yourself and be strong for little eva. Remember, everything happens for a reason - this situation will resolve itself soon.
You have your Faith and your friends here to bring you through this. My thoughts and prayers are dedicated to your well-being. Do not give up Hope.

Dave.

Yes; often those who are closest to us can add to the already fragile issues we deal with 24/7. It seems like you may have what so many parents deal with is the "swinging door" . Tho you are dealing with much; even at 29 your daughter & grandchild still needy.

Praying headaches and all that goes with them are greatly lessened. Suffered myself with migraines since childhood which the past few years seem to have decreased in numbers.

Take care dear friend,


Gerry

In the face of such overwhelming agony
To count blessings
Seems blessings have gone
Yet reading all of you posts, my friend,
I see Corissa,
In the throes of rebellion is safe,
If I read it right.
Little Eva is there with you and she, too, is safe
You give this to them
Though challenged yourself to the max
You are a blessing
To them
To us
To me
Hugging you from afar
M56

that is where she is now!
me

More hugs with prayers for a better day,
M56

it's a place your not familiar with
not even the noise or lack of noise
my being afloat in a row boat
no paddles in the middle of this vast ocean
alone
not anything to hope for
other than the pain to go away
every kind of pain imaginable
awaiting to hear the sound of my Father
SAVE ME
Father
save us
i am again where change is happening
quicker than quick
lost in the desert with no signs of any life
no snakes scorpions anything to take ones being
lost in a land filled with superficial everyday routine
not interested in your surroundings
Father how many of the same prayers i pray
over
and over
can you please keep us happy no matter what
HAPPY
i need to be happy with my family

having Corissa home
and finding teaching mechanisms
how it necessary to be happy and sober
Father
blessings you give in so many ways
only you know what this body and mind is going through

lost in a unknown world that
continues to take take take
i make no situation up
nor do i write about it for any
Attention!

i have written many times
i am who i am
and
it is what it is

what would make anyone think
this is how one chooses to feel

this is a inside job
behind closed doors
enter with caution
is what it should read

i bring with me sadness heart wrenching
situations
in the school ever contacting me
during her truancy, in school suspensions
not going to class
all these security friends he spoke too

NOT ONE PHONE CALL

just thought i would throw that in there
today she is so disrespectful
i don't even want to talk to her

i'm alone no one to help me rear both of them
Corissa, unless under my nose
will not do on her own
as if she were privileged
please
i cannot have Corissa
think my help be taken
as enabling

i'm lost no field with
straight lines to reach
or follow
or follow in between
whatever the case
pay attention
i'm 53
my life a huge lesson
school still in session
she will get her GED
and do full time out-patient
a contract i still must read
each word very carefully
i am lost
HELP ME THROUGH THIS
PLEASE HELP ME FIND A
HAPPY PLACE A HEALING PLACE
MY ANGELS please help
i implore you
guide me

I AM LOST
ME

Father
Brother
Mother Mary

when raising Corissa many things were going on
my ex-husband in court told the judge he not only
try to wipe out the fact that his eldest my "writer/poet
did not attend college nor have brain surgery that took
part of her occipital lobe the trade off going
going blind mostly in her right eye

in the end not successful in the removal of the problem atea

now 11 years later a VNS implant

beat ten years of depression
still has bouts
a brilliant Poet and Writer
HER WORK WILL BE PICKED UP
FROM A PUBLISHING COMPANY
THEY LOVE HER WORK
this is what she is blessed
with
it took her to her "BLISS IN LIFE"
her destiny
a Writer

CORISSA went to a poetry gig
she had her big sister to
bring her to t e arts

she must curb her attitude
we have a grandchild
in the house
me

Yuk. I still know it. The ever present unwanted companion.

Yuk

M56