Father
Brother
Mother Mary

Forgive me of my sins
Thank you for blessings I am given in my day

Bless this broken family
Don't let me take my will back
Keep me in a humbling stance
Hear my prayers Heavenly Father
Bless my heart with your unconditional love
The kind of love that soothe my ways
Keep me above water
I feel like I am drowning
In the sorrow and troubles that effects this family
To keep You first and foremost in front of it all as my shield
To protect your children who need to be touched by You
What is it that you want me to do
How can I instruct constructively
I cannot control anybody other than myself
I must turn it ALL over in order for me to understand
true serenity
That I have faith in God the Son and the Holy Spirit
and believe in You and trust You
And not to get depressed and be reminded of what the past two days were like
Hear my prayer Heavenly Father
You rule this body
Heal me father
Heal my heart and soul
Forgive us all
Thank you Heavenly Father
In Jesus name
Amen
Me

Have all things crash
And I have to try to pickup the pieces
With Your blessing Heavenly Father
I ask for fogiveness for any sins in my day
Bless me with mental strength
Fill my heart with Your love
In Jesus I trust
In You I believe
Pouring of the Holy Ghost
Fill my gut
Let me praise You with my life
I follow Your Love
And spread it as mush as I can
Bless us all in these very hard times
Amen

Father
Brother
Mother Mary

Thank you for the blessing you give in my day

Use me Heavenly Father
I am your worker
I want to live and make a difference
How many times have I missed my boat
The opportunity given at times in my life
but I put my children first
How many times have I had the chance to help a young soul
Gifted I am
When will my children come to see You are the way to happiness
Heavenly Father please heal this very broken body
It hurts so badly
My hands and my feet hurt so badly
My neck my back just want to tear it out
My head aches every day since I was hit with this problem
I don't mention it with so many other things I wake with
My grand baby will be starting kindergarten
She has to have the best I can offer her little brain that is just incredible
It has been corrupted by father
Trying to teach her how to lie
But she understands and knows better
My baby girl
Who has her mommy that has her back always
However eighteen she must bring something to the table
She must get her GED
MUST
I really want to make a difference in her life by allowing her to pay the bills so she understands how it works month to month
Have her work with the $702 I work with in a month
Poor we are
Not where I want to be
Yet I still manage with what I have
I needed to purchase underwear it killed
Money the root of All EVIL
you will take care of what I will need and provide
I trust you Heavenly Father
If all my obligations including those who are in my care
I will do my very best
Help us Heavenly Father
I need You close by
Blessings to all of us
Amen

Father
Brother
Mother Mary

thank you for the blessings you will bestow on me today

having to let go of the utter chaos
the anger my children have towards me
let me let it go
bless them
they do know what they do
reaching out to my son that his sister tried to kill herself
who is now on her way i pray to detox
is outrageously demanding
consequences i suffer reaching out to my son through his husband
told him to give the message to him
he is not allowed to speak with me
as long as my son chooses to be estranged from me
this man is ordered not to contact me
heavenly father
bless them
to have my heart filled with such sadness and despair
it is said
YOU give me no more than i can handle
the most important thing is they are
blessed by You
You can feel my pain
you have me wake
physically
mentally
spiritually
i am broken
bless them Heavenly Father
You know my pain
the horrible things written
the horrible words spoken
and the day has started in utter anger
mine
bless them
i should not
i will not be a mat for them to wipe their feet on
how much more pain do i get for the mothering
i have done
i stand by my parenting and the softer side mothering
it seems i have become bankrupt in every aspect of my waking life
i have but this life
YOU know my heart like no other
i give you my pain
i surrender
i give up
let me learn how to truly live
not let others problem become mine
as much as i am there for them the sorrow of it all is overwhelming
they are now blocked from calling or writing for that matter
that is it
all i can give done
there are conditions my children have if i want them in my life
it is not going to happen
they ARE unreasonable requests
it to them is
"i want"
i am responsible for a child who had a f****D up start
pretty much like my children
shorted by one parent
i being the chosen one am still here
here not to be a punching bag
because their lives are in there own turmoil
made my amends more than i should have
over it
bless them
i have given them my all and some
and to be treated as if i were the child
until all my children take addiction seriously
it has come to my attention from one of my children
both my oldest children drink
drink until they are puking all they have out that is poisoning them
this not a good thing
this is not the only thing that they are ingesting to get high
so of my four children all aren't doing well
just three drinks with a cigarette
that's all i need
or so i thought
gave them both up for this to hit me in the face
am i surprised
not if anything i gave them all the warning signs
over and over and over again
is this the life destined for my children
my grandchild
what will the end result be
it is frightening
truly frightening
but You have me wake into their rage because they can
and i won't
let them not hurt me anymore
i have been and continue to be their mother
not good enough
the best i have to offer
i allowed them to bleed me dry in most areas in my life
i have stepped away
yet they will not stop being hurtful
it is something i have to stop let affect me
easier said than done
but in the end doing it
bless them
serenity
true serenity
letting go and letting God
just for today i will be sober
not escape
but present before YOU
can you hear me Heavenly Father
do with me as YOU WISH
in Jesus i trust
in God i believe
bless us all
in Jesus name
Amen

Father
Brother
Mother Mary

Thank you for the blessings given in my day

Worried is not a way to live
And because I do
Is a clear observation I have not let it all go
Heavenly Father
Show me how to let to of my babies
The world a terrible place
One cannot go out and enjoy your blessings
Living in fear is not a way to live
This world is frightening
It has taken over
Is this what is hindering my progression
How do I stop worrying
Even when I was a child
I worried all the time

Heavenly Father
Like a child running out into the streets
Littered with cars
A mother jumps before them
I have so many of others pain I carry
It is part of my makeup
The world has shown us so much
We are t here forever
What will be left for my lineage
Why can't I let go
Why am I holding on to my pain
Is it all I know
To have someone hug me feels strange
It is done so few times

Heavenly Father I have raised my sister
We are close now
That only happened after she turned herself over to you
Bless her Heavenly Father
Her intent always good
She speaks Your name every single day I talk to her

Heavenly Father
My children lost
So utterly lost in this society
Did not expose them to what they are drawn to
Brilliant they are
Without You lost

Heavenly Father
I have my grandchild now
Why do I have such sorrow before her
She sees right through me
Without tears flowing
She asks
Mimma
Why are you so sad
Don't worry I'm here
Five she is
Had her since infancy
The road crumbling along the way
I am not the foundation
You are through me
I become strong
Let me be their rock
I am sorry for any sins I have perpetrated
I mean no harm
I cannot enable
And that means blocking my family from hurting me
My family hurting me
I cannot understand
My alcoholic day as brief as it was
Damaged my babies
Aware I am and
Aware they are
Always putting my children first
When it was You I needed to thank and praise
Not because of my mortality
I have always turned to You
It was given to me Heavenly Father
Your words in the book I would pick up at a young age
And You spoke to me
Psalms 6: 6-10
You spoke to me when I did not want to live
I was a child
Starving myself
Nobody could force me to eat or drink
You remember Heavenly Father
Remember me in my tiny room
Looking for answers why me
Why was I born into this family who did not want me or my sisters
For my father to kill himself
How does that affect me
This is the end product
Still hanging on
Still hoping they will see the light
You in their hearts
My boy angry
So angry at me
Accuses me of being a man hater
How little does he know about my choices
The times in which we live
Where are the people going through life against the truth of Your existence
I can only be a example

Heavenly Father
Brother
Holy Spirit
Enter my being
A witness of Christ Jesus
Who did for my sins and the sins of the world

I am not here forever
This is a temporary place
Let me truly let go
Help me not hurt so badly
Blocking my babies
Not giving in to their demands
But like a wise person said not to long ago
Wait for the answers to come to me
Another telling me don't worry about later
for later isn't here yet
Wait to see if you needed to worry for nothing
This is true
But every single day
It is something
Something that hasn't happened yet
is not to be worried about
For most times its nothing
God blessed me with that mother instinct
I was always paying attention
Worried someone would hurt my babies
And all along it was me
Enough for them to misjudge me
Not understand my choices
That my son would think I hate men

Heavenly Father
It is my sons behavior
I loath in a person
Leaning on others to fill their hearts with evil happiness
It is not okay to be in more than one relationship at a time
My babies never seen me involved with a significant other for I had fears they would be abused as I was
A father should never look at his girls like he did
He was a very sick man
Only you know what visions are still clear in my mind
And the times I have no memory of
Trying always throughout my life seeking help
May it be the church
A friend
Professional help so many failed times
Giving up my drinking
Bringing you back into my life
Is the best feeling in the world
To understand
That You are my instructor
My everything
Let my children find You

Heavenly Father
Let my grandchild not have memories of
me being sad
She loves me so much
Her hugs just amazing
When group hug happens
Eva pushes Corissa away
And says
I love mimma more
Fighting for my love and attention
My job to teach her
And we spoke
And then we talked about
Hate
When I asked her if she understood what the word means
She shakes her head
No
And when I did
I could see it sinking in
To remember
Our words that come out of our mouths are what matters
To stop and think before one speaks
At her level
She understood
She prays the Lord's Prayer
And Mother Mary

Heavenly Father
Bless my ways into the hearts of others
Let them see my love and faith and hope I hang on and don't give up as much as I want to at times but don't
Let them come to me so we can begin to understand one another
I am so misunderstood
I am living in fear
This is not healthy
Not for anybody
Rip it from me Heavenly Father
Come into my heart
My Savior
My everything
Hear my prayers
Bless us all
In Jesus I trust
In God I believe
In the Holy Ghost I live
I rebuke all evil that tries to take my mind
Amen

Eva,
As I posted in a previous post of yours today; I will repeat:

Pray our Mother Mary will watch over all of them as our Heavenly Father entrusted her to care for His Only Begotten Son, Jesus.


Gerry

AMEN!
Thank you Gerry
love
me

Father
Brother
Mother Mary

My blessings I thank you for

Use me as your shepherd
In Your hand I give myself
My soul be redeemed
As I hold You close
The feel of that flannel shirt
Oozing with the smell of Your unconditional love never to be found
Only when we are in Your land and in Your arms
Heavenly Father
I pray my family be aware of Your presence
In Jesus name
Blessing to this world
Amen

Father
Brother
Mother Mary

Blessings in my day I thank You for

It is a better day
Weather wise
I have much trouble in the days of humidity
And it is thick here
My breathing labored
My chest in pain when over exerted
Nothing I ever imagined
My mortality brings me closer to You
As much as I want to be in Your arms
You have me stay for my children
The thoughts that run through my mind
is not a place I want to be
I ask Heavenly Father that it not be hard at the end
Let me raise my children to see them do well
Keep them safe with all I had to offer them
Let them feel my love when I may be in thought
Having to block them from contacting me is only for my well being
TNF the tumor necrosis factor has taken its toll on this body
My stress and depression not in my head
It is my reality
I MUST pull myself up
Brush off myself
And just do as I am awakened
So much of it all
I could talk and understand what is happening
and how it is A L L INTERCONNECTED
my doctor putting it all together
Heal me Heavenly Father
Heal me
I Jesus name I ask mercy
Forgive me of my sins
As I walk this world we call earth
You blessed me with a family
I pray I did my very best
Only You know what I had and still have to offer
My grandchild came to me last night and said
Mimma
I a big girl like You
Coming in to get a glass that was empty
Be careful I said
Even grown ups like mimma has accidents
Glass can be dangerous
She looks at me
Head to toe
Will I be big like you mimma
I told her yes
As she is very tall for her five years of age
So innocent
So precious
The daily hugs just because they feel so good to her
Holding her close to my heart
She could hear it pound and beat away
Let this latter pat of live be enjoyed by me
And to be strong to keep it together
My baby sister with me at doctors
as my advocate
Her work all her life with doctors
A phlebotomist
We have a good relationship
And told me not to long ago how happy she is in our time we have together
Saying "this is what I wanted all my life"
"What I have now with you"
"I never felt so good as I do where we are right know"
This is because she gave herself over to Heavenly Father
She at times inspires me
Her life changed for the better when she surrendered
You know I still hold on to stuff I NEED to let go of
A good friend of mine passing with lung complications
The pain of it horrible
But in YOUR loving arms
Someone I met it AA
In 1990
I have memories of his funny laugh
A jolly person was he
Never played Santa
Would have been a great Santa
My day started with a stir of uneasiness
Trying to empower this mind and body
Let my simple blessings override this feel
waiting for it to pass
If the day continues to stay dry
We will have a day at the pool
This the first year I cannot entertain the outside humid heat
Tomorrow a better day so the weatherman says
Will wait for tomorrow
And concentrate on today
The night was peacefulwith several difficulities arising in the early morning
It started with the sweats
Menses stopped at fifty
It is the side effects of the tamoxifen and other factors
Not able to return to sleep
And not allowing my brain the time to think
I began with my start of the day
And come here

Heavenly Father
I must let go of many thoughts
And trust in You for everything
I must give it
Completely to have true serenity
In Jesus I trust
In God the Father I believe
Show me the way
Blessings of Hope in this world
Amen
Love
Me

Father
Brother
Mother Mary

Thank you for the blessing given in my day

You presence felt
When having a difficult task
Your presence felt
As I spoke the truth
I felt your presence
No fear
But your presence
How much easier when held by You
Thank you Heavenly Father
You having my back
Is All that counts
The calm
As you presence felt
Amen