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07-10-2016, 07:46 AM | #361 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary Forgive me of my sins Thank you for blessings I am given in my day Bless this broken family Don't let me take my will back Keep me in a humbling stance Hear my prayers Heavenly Father Bless my heart with your unconditional love The kind of love that soothe my ways Keep me above water I feel like I am drowning In the sorrow and troubles that effects this family To keep You first and foremost in front of it all as my shield To protect your children who need to be touched by You What is it that you want me to do How can I instruct constructively I cannot control anybody other than myself I must turn it ALL over in order for me to understand true serenity That I have faith in God the Son and the Holy Spirit and believe in You and trust You And not to get depressed and be reminded of what the past two days were like Hear my prayer Heavenly Father You rule this body Heal me father Heal my heart and soul Forgive us all Thank you Heavenly Father In Jesus name Amen Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (07-10-2016), PamelaJune (07-12-2016) |
07-13-2016, 07:24 PM | #362 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Have all things crash
And I have to try to pickup the pieces With Your blessing Heavenly Father I ask for fogiveness for any sins in my day Bless me with mental strength Fill my heart with Your love In Jesus I trust In You I believe Pouring of the Holy Ghost Fill my gut Let me praise You with my life I follow Your Love And spread it as mush as I can Bless us all in these very hard times Amen
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (07-13-2016) |
07-14-2016, 06:42 AM | #363 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for the blessing you give in my day Use me Heavenly Father I am your worker I want to live and make a difference How many times have I missed my boat The opportunity given at times in my life but I put my children first How many times have I had the chance to help a young soul Gifted I am When will my children come to see You are the way to happiness Heavenly Father please heal this very broken body It hurts so badly My hands and my feet hurt so badly My neck my back just want to tear it out My head aches every day since I was hit with this problem I don't mention it with so many other things I wake with My grand baby will be starting kindergarten She has to have the best I can offer her little brain that is just incredible It has been corrupted by father Trying to teach her how to lie But she understands and knows better My baby girl Who has her mommy that has her back always However eighteen she must bring something to the table She must get her GED MUST I really want to make a difference in her life by allowing her to pay the bills so she understands how it works month to month Have her work with the $702 I work with in a month Poor we are Not where I want to be Yet I still manage with what I have I needed to purchase underwear it killed Money the root of All EVIL you will take care of what I will need and provide I trust you Heavenly Father If all my obligations including those who are in my care I will do my very best Help us Heavenly Father I need You close by Blessings to all of us Amen
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (07-14-2016), PamelaJune (07-15-2016) |
07-16-2016, 07:17 AM | #364 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for the blessings you will bestow on me today having to let go of the utter chaos the anger my children have towards me let me let it go bless them they do know what they do reaching out to my son that his sister tried to kill herself who is now on her way i pray to detox is outrageously demanding consequences i suffer reaching out to my son through his husband told him to give the message to him he is not allowed to speak with me as long as my son chooses to be estranged from me this man is ordered not to contact me heavenly father bless them to have my heart filled with such sadness and despair it is said YOU give me no more than i can handle the most important thing is they are blessed by You You can feel my pain you have me wake physically mentally spiritually i am broken bless them Heavenly Father You know my pain the horrible things written the horrible words spoken and the day has started in utter anger mine bless them i should not i will not be a mat for them to wipe their feet on how much more pain do i get for the mothering i have done i stand by my parenting and the softer side mothering it seems i have become bankrupt in every aspect of my waking life i have but this life YOU know my heart like no other i give you my pain i surrender i give up let me learn how to truly live not let others problem become mine as much as i am there for them the sorrow of it all is overwhelming they are now blocked from calling or writing for that matter that is it all i can give done there are conditions my children have if i want them in my life it is not going to happen they ARE unreasonable requests it to them is "i want" i am responsible for a child who had a f****D up start pretty much like my children shorted by one parent i being the chosen one am still here here not to be a punching bag because their lives are in there own turmoil made my amends more than i should have over it bless them i have given them my all and some and to be treated as if i were the child until all my children take addiction seriously it has come to my attention from one of my children both my oldest children drink drink until they are puking all they have out that is poisoning them this not a good thing this is not the only thing that they are ingesting to get high so of my four children all aren't doing well just three drinks with a cigarette that's all i need or so i thought gave them both up for this to hit me in the face am i surprised not if anything i gave them all the warning signs over and over and over again is this the life destined for my children my grandchild what will the end result be it is frightening truly frightening but You have me wake into their rage because they can and i won't let them not hurt me anymore i have been and continue to be their mother not good enough the best i have to offer i allowed them to bleed me dry in most areas in my life i have stepped away yet they will not stop being hurtful it is something i have to stop let affect me easier said than done but in the end doing it bless them serenity true serenity letting go and letting God just for today i will be sober not escape but present before YOU can you hear me Heavenly Father do with me as YOU WISH in Jesus i trust in God i believe bless us all in Jesus name Amen
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 07-16-2016 at 07:29 AM. Reason: fixing |
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07-17-2016, 07:08 AM | #365 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for the blessings given in my day Worried is not a way to live And because I do Is a clear observation I have not let it all go Heavenly Father Show me how to let to of my babies The world a terrible place One cannot go out and enjoy your blessings Living in fear is not a way to live This world is frightening It has taken over Is this what is hindering my progression How do I stop worrying Even when I was a child I worried all the time Heavenly Father Like a child running out into the streets Littered with cars A mother jumps before them I have so many of others pain I carry It is part of my makeup The world has shown us so much We are t here forever What will be left for my lineage Why can't I let go Why am I holding on to my pain Is it all I know To have someone hug me feels strange It is done so few times Heavenly Father I have raised my sister We are close now That only happened after she turned herself over to you Bless her Heavenly Father Her intent always good She speaks Your name every single day I talk to her Heavenly Father My children lost So utterly lost in this society Did not expose them to what they are drawn to Brilliant they are Without You lost Heavenly Father I have my grandchild now Why do I have such sorrow before her She sees right through me Without tears flowing She asks Mimma Why are you so sad Don't worry I'm here Five she is Had her since infancy The road crumbling along the way I am not the foundation You are through me I become strong Let me be their rock I am sorry for any sins I have perpetrated I mean no harm I cannot enable And that means blocking my family from hurting me My family hurting me I cannot understand My alcoholic day as brief as it was Damaged my babies Aware I am and Aware they are Always putting my children first When it was You I needed to thank and praise Not because of my mortality I have always turned to You It was given to me Heavenly Father Your words in the book I would pick up at a young age And You spoke to me Psalms 6: 6-10 You spoke to me when I did not want to live I was a child Starving myself Nobody could force me to eat or drink You remember Heavenly Father Remember me in my tiny room Looking for answers why me Why was I born into this family who did not want me or my sisters For my father to kill himself How does that affect me This is the end product Still hanging on Still hoping they will see the light You in their hearts My boy angry So angry at me Accuses me of being a man hater How little does he know about my choices The times in which we live Where are the people going through life against the truth of Your existence I can only be a example Heavenly Father Brother Holy Spirit Enter my being A witness of Christ Jesus Who did for my sins and the sins of the world I am not here forever This is a temporary place Let me truly let go Help me not hurt so badly Blocking my babies Not giving in to their demands But like a wise person said not to long ago Wait for the answers to come to me Another telling me don't worry about later for later isn't here yet Wait to see if you needed to worry for nothing This is true But every single day It is something Something that hasn't happened yet is not to be worried about For most times its nothing God blessed me with that mother instinct I was always paying attention Worried someone would hurt my babies And all along it was me Enough for them to misjudge me Not understand my choices That my son would think I hate men Heavenly Father It is my sons behavior I loath in a person Leaning on others to fill their hearts with evil happiness It is not okay to be in more than one relationship at a time My babies never seen me involved with a significant other for I had fears they would be abused as I was A father should never look at his girls like he did He was a very sick man Only you know what visions are still clear in my mind And the times I have no memory of Trying always throughout my life seeking help May it be the church A friend Professional help so many failed times Giving up my drinking Bringing you back into my life Is the best feeling in the world To understand That You are my instructor My everything Let my children find You Heavenly Father Let my grandchild not have memories of me being sad She loves me so much Her hugs just amazing When group hug happens Eva pushes Corissa away And says I love mimma more Fighting for my love and attention My job to teach her And we spoke And then we talked about Hate When I asked her if she understood what the word means She shakes her head No And when I did I could see it sinking in To remember Our words that come out of our mouths are what matters To stop and think before one speaks At her level She understood She prays the Lord's Prayer And Mother Mary Heavenly Father Bless my ways into the hearts of others Let them see my love and faith and hope I hang on and don't give up as much as I want to at times but don't Let them come to me so we can begin to understand one another I am so misunderstood I am living in fear This is not healthy Not for anybody Rip it from me Heavenly Father Come into my heart My Savior My everything Hear my prayers Bless us all In Jesus I trust In God I believe In the Holy Ghost I live I rebuke all evil that tries to take my mind Amen
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (07-17-2016) |
07-17-2016, 11:35 AM | #366 | ||
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Magnate
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Eva,
As I posted in a previous post of yours today; I will repeat: Pray our Mother Mary will watch over all of them as our Heavenly Father entrusted her to care for His Only Begotten Son, Jesus. Gerry |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (07-17-2016) |
07-17-2016, 04:30 PM | #367 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
Thank you Gerry love me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (07-18-2016) |
07-18-2016, 11:54 AM | #368 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary My blessings I thank you for Use me as your shepherd In Your hand I give myself My soul be redeemed As I hold You close The feel of that flannel shirt Oozing with the smell of Your unconditional love never to be found Only when we are in Your land and in Your arms Heavenly Father I pray my family be aware of Your presence In Jesus name Blessing to this world Amen
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (07-19-2016) |
07-19-2016, 06:58 AM | #369 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary Blessings in my day I thank You for It is a better day Weather wise I have much trouble in the days of humidity And it is thick here My breathing labored My chest in pain when over exerted Nothing I ever imagined My mortality brings me closer to You As much as I want to be in Your arms You have me stay for my children The thoughts that run through my mind is not a place I want to be I ask Heavenly Father that it not be hard at the end Let me raise my children to see them do well Keep them safe with all I had to offer them Let them feel my love when I may be in thought Having to block them from contacting me is only for my well being TNF the tumor necrosis factor has taken its toll on this body My stress and depression not in my head It is my reality I MUST pull myself up Brush off myself And just do as I am awakened So much of it all I could talk and understand what is happening and how it is A L L INTERCONNECTED my doctor putting it all together Heal me Heavenly Father Heal me I Jesus name I ask mercy Forgive me of my sins As I walk this world we call earth You blessed me with a family I pray I did my very best Only You know what I had and still have to offer My grandchild came to me last night and said Mimma I a big girl like You Coming in to get a glass that was empty Be careful I said Even grown ups like mimma has accidents Glass can be dangerous She looks at me Head to toe Will I be big like you mimma I told her yes As she is very tall for her five years of age So innocent So precious The daily hugs just because they feel so good to her Holding her close to my heart She could hear it pound and beat away Let this latter pat of live be enjoyed by me And to be strong to keep it together My baby sister with me at doctors as my advocate Her work all her life with doctors A phlebotomist We have a good relationship And told me not to long ago how happy she is in our time we have together Saying "this is what I wanted all my life" "What I have now with you" "I never felt so good as I do where we are right know" This is because she gave herself over to Heavenly Father She at times inspires me Her life changed for the better when she surrendered You know I still hold on to stuff I NEED to let go of A good friend of mine passing with lung complications The pain of it horrible But in YOUR loving arms Someone I met it AA In 1990 I have memories of his funny laugh A jolly person was he Never played Santa Would have been a great Santa My day started with a stir of uneasiness Trying to empower this mind and body Let my simple blessings override this feel waiting for it to pass If the day continues to stay dry We will have a day at the pool This the first year I cannot entertain the outside humid heat Tomorrow a better day so the weatherman says Will wait for tomorrow And concentrate on today The night was peacefulwith several difficulities arising in the early morning It started with the sweats Menses stopped at fifty It is the side effects of the tamoxifen and other factors Not able to return to sleep And not allowing my brain the time to think I began with my start of the day And come here Heavenly Father I must let go of many thoughts And trust in You for everything I must give it Completely to have true serenity In Jesus I trust In God the Father I believe Show me the way Blessings of Hope in this world Amen Love Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (07-19-2016) |
07-22-2016, 05:45 AM | #370 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for the blessing given in my day You presence felt When having a difficult task Your presence felt As I spoke the truth I felt your presence No fear But your presence How much easier when held by You Thank you Heavenly Father You having my back Is All that counts The calm As you presence felt Amen
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