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Old 05-06-2014, 10:57 PM #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PamelaJune View Post
Eva, I read your posts and the pain you face unimaginable, yet there it is in black and white. How is it you could be served with more than your fair share of the pie.

I know it's frightening to have read up on all that you have, I hear you lamenting that you did, yet I too would do the same. We are not women who sit idly by waiting for what may pass our way. Better to be prepared, better to know what needs to be done to live what life we have to the full in the time that we have, better to safeguard the future of those who will always know what you have done for them and better to pray for the miracle that may come, all this rather than be taken unawares.

We, your NT family are with you, say what you must, rant when you need and cry without fear. We are here for you every step of the way, painful as it will be for you, we will still live on in hope and in awe of all that you have achieved. I say we because I know it will be more than just me.
Dear Pam
Your words sooth my heart some
you have me pegged
thank you for the support
it sucks when things just pile on
and the mound never seems to move
Yet the fear of the unknown and the wait
well you know of course
You and all here do allow me to share
and know as you have already reached out
For this is God at work through persons such
as yourself who has an understanding
And in it all for sure is a reason
My love to you my friend my shoulder as well
Forever
Me
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Old 05-07-2014, 11:43 AM #32
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Default woke up this morning

Father
Brother
Mother Mary

thank you for another day

going to bed crying
waking up crying
is not a good thing
to work myself up is senseless
yet there still are no definitive
answer yet
i have a hard time as it is
yet i want to educate myself
so in the company of my doctor
i have an understanding of what
he is saying
this is what i do
try to get as much information
about my diagnosis this past January
i want so badly for the pain i feel in my lumbar
area that is active
not be the worse case scenario
secondary cancer of the bone
primary my breast cancer
crying crying crying just increases
all the bad things that are happening
to have two surgeon tell me
will not do surgery
"to many things are going on"
OKAY
what the blank does that mean
here now a doctor has taken me on as
a new patient not brushing off my diagnosis
Father help him show him what must be done
"i am a very interesting case"
he will not stop
this means the world to me
i do not want to be a burden
nor do i want to die prematurely
oh what a horrible feeling this is
it is so hard to sit idle and wonder

Father
i lack happiness
i don't mean my children
or grandchild all are my joy
but the happiness that shows on my face
not the frown sadness unknown fear
all poison
it is recommended i entertain the pool
something we already do
and it does do wonders
looking forward to it
your Love should be enough
i need help
i must find happiness
if i continue to feel as i do
i bring everyone else down
hence isolation
in my room
wondering wondering
what next
thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven
AMEN!
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Old 05-07-2014, 02:08 PM #33
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Default Hello!

My name is Jesika ,I'm not exactly in you group forums but I always enjoy reading and practicing my faith through you guys,a nice group,I don't pray or write like you,but I do have faith and know everyday we are alive enjoying the sunshine or rain is a blessing ,thanks for reminding us that !
By the way my forum normally is rsd/crps but for certain rules we can't post messages like yours so I'm glad I'm doing here and hope you guys don't mind,thanks for praying and for blessing each and everyone here,God bless you all as well and I thank my Lord for let me everyday live believing in his promise that one day we all going to be pain free and without any worries,he sent his only son to die and resurrect so we can be sin free thru him and his words ,I missed this so much,blessing to all of you and keep believing ,from Jesika ( eevo)
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Old 05-07-2014, 07:24 PM #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eevo61 View Post
My name is Jesika ,I'm not exactly in you group forums but I always enjoy reading and practicing my faith through you guys,a nice group,I don't pray or write like you,but I do have faith and know everyday we are alive enjoying the sunshine or rain is a blessing ,thanks for reminding us that !
By the way my forum normally is rsd/crps but for certain rules we can't post messages like yours so I'm glad I'm doing here and hope you guys don't mind,thanks for praying and for blessing each and everyone here,God bless you all as well and I thank my Lord for let me everyday live believing in his promise that one day we all going to be pain free and without any worries,he sent his only son to die and resurrect so we can be sin free thru him and his words ,I missed this so much,blessing to all of you and keep believing ,from Jesika ( eevo)
hi Jesika
this is the power of LOVE for one another
true love for one another
to have to live in today's world
isn't easy
but the power of JESUS CHRIST
our SAVIOR who sits at the right hand
of our FATHER
and MOTHER MARY
who suffered ultimate pain
as she watched her son
die for us
our sins
why we suffer
as we do
know how special you are
the power of FAITH
to know there are
persons out there who relate
Jesus Christ oh to have
seen him as human
to want to feel him in SPIRIT
to yearn the good feeling in the
end when you make the connection
with other here
and for that you are a Blessing
hello
me
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Old 05-07-2014, 08:50 PM #35
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Default Thanks Eva !

I noticed is been a hard and long way for you to be walking,also I'm sure all those days you never had walk alone,Jesus !our Lord had hold your hand every single time and he will continue walking next to you ,carry you every time you feel like falling,washing your tears away when you cry,he is there,.
I'm glad and appreciate your words,means so much to me ,also being bless everyday by trying to keep leaving in this condition but always with faith in my heart,God bless your kindness and your beautiful soul,I'm sure he had put you in many peoples ways and lives for a reason,to me the most simple but difficult for some others,to believe in God,his son and our mother ,that's the most simple way to describe what living with faith means,to,believe.
with all my respect and deep appreciation blessings to all as well ,from Jesika.
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Old 05-08-2014, 07:11 PM #36
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Arrow Push up date

Father

The bloodwork will be done Tuesday
I will be tested for several other
cancer markers for one of three
Be there my Brother hold me tight
Squeeze me that the wind is pushed out of me
Father be there to breath the life back into me
Mother watch my babies as I find out what
is going on
The scan will be done when I go to the
Dr. who took the oath leave no stone
unturned
Dad you know what your family is going through
watch over them if that be the only thing you do
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Old 05-10-2014, 10:40 AM #37
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Heart

Quote:
Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post
Father

The bloodwork will be done Tuesday
I will be tested for several other
cancer markers for one of three
Be there my Brother hold me tight
Squeeze me that the wind is pushed out of me
Father be there to breath the life back into me
Mother watch my babies as I find out what
is going on
The scan will be done when I go to the
Dr. who took the oath leave no stone
unturned
Dad you know what your family is going through
watch over them if that be the only thing you do


Eva,

You are always in my prayers.


Gerry
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Old 05-10-2014, 02:06 PM #38
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Default and the call came

Father

what in the world is she up to
its done over fallen apart i told her
my family comes to me first
and she has the nerve to call and wish me
and my daughter Christine happy mothers day
is she nuts
calls me from her job taking care of and old lady
doing the same sneaky thing
calling me in secret

SECRET

HER WHOLE LIFE WITH ME HER ELDEST CHILD

SECRET

this was for what Father
what did she want out of secret lies
what hasn't she learned
all she did was mistakenly
birthed us
never to love us
but to lean on all her life
left me in charge watching my
baby sister
i was under 5
all this you know father
why the **** did she call
we share nothing
i owe her nothing
i want nothing
why the **** did she call
the salt is burning my open wounded heart
she continues to operate as she always has
the family is not hers to mess with
yet she continues to
and where do i shove this turd
to painful to even touch
her lies lies lies lies lies lies
may they go with her
they are her lies
keep me clear minded
not to care not to cry not to feel
i do not want her to infect me anymore
she is my evil being
any part of her i wish out of me
my doors were always open to her
she chose to never use it
this much i told her
after reminding her
the family has fallen apart
and all she has to say
i know
what the **** does she know
what the **** did she ******* call me for
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Old 05-11-2014, 06:14 AM #39
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Quote:
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Eva,

You are always in my prayers.


Gerry
Dear Gerry
Sending you happy mother day wish
Thank you for being there
Hope life has settled in a way
you can deal with everyday adversities
Way too much going on here
I have Corissa to help
And Eva now with us on a permanent level
I have to keep it together for them if anything
Hope you get to enjoy some yummy chocolate
Love
Me
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Old 05-11-2014, 06:28 AM #40
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Default A happy Mother's Day wish to anyone who needs it

Father
Brother
Mother Mary

Mother
Oh mother
Father forgive me and my harbored
feelings
Forgive this angry me
from hurting anyone
This is not my wish
just to be left alone
Not to be so angry
I am sorry

Mother Mary
Who suffered ultimate pain
For Jesus to have been loved by you
Not just wonder but know what was to come
I am sorry as my behavior is out the window
Making my meeting this morning
Hoping to feel a room filled with your spirit
Amen
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