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SCS & Pain Pumps For spinal cord stimulator (SCS) and pain pump discussions. |
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12-21-2018, 08:17 AM | #38 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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To live by faith
Remind myself His will be done For his is the kingdom the power and the glory forevermore Oh how I am being hit from all sides All from my children I have withdrawn myself from the chaos And it follows me The mother of my grandchild ungrateful The father and mother harassing me stopped paying child support minimal at that my daughter not paying anything Until the judge I thing ordered him to pay There will be a court date as he pleads not guilty to the charges I will be ready and will fight with all my might giving it to Heavenly Father first and do what I am responsible for My son call and leaves a message that he was evicted and is homeless all because he is an addict forgetting how he spoke to me at our last conversation and hurt me to the core I cannot enable my son and his addiction and pray he doesn’t die from an overdose My eldest had very rude harsh terrible lies to throw my way and put an end to all the tries And the most hurtful my youngest secretly taking money from her manipulative father I have no control over handing her a car she does not deserve A drop out and manipulative just like him as money the root of all evil in the wrong hands has dropped out of my life and my grand child who is so hurt as I am also watching her deal with the abandonment Whatever happened to my family I don’t have the energy to figure it out All I know is I did the very best I could having to keep Jesus Christ alive and they do not believe My son in his addiction would like to guilt me into feeling sorry for him My granddaughter mother my child chooses the father who is abusive as she thinks she cannot do any better What do I mean by that To lean on herself not a rotten abusive father and son who hurts his mother And my granddaughter was witnessing this many times My eldest thinks she knows it all and is forgetting many things in the past She to hanging on a man she married and never lived a lived alone I don’t get it I consciously did not bring in a man into my life as I had a job And that was to raise them I look for the blessings to the lessons in it all I never imagined my children would be the persons they all became Jesus missing in their lives is where it all begins And when I speak of it I am shut down So they are not children My eldest soon to be forty As my son too My third child mid thirties My youngest twenty one and leaning on others for her desires I was never that woman Making conscious decision and choices Putting my children before myself as their fathers had all rights just never exercised them And now they are grown and blame me for their misery and pain they inflict upon themselves The blessings To be the lesson in it all As I can see myself and can feel the sadness of it all I never turned my back on them till now I am not going to take the pain of their threats anymore They stripped me of all my possessions Not their fault but mine Life has never been easy As early as I can remember I am qualified in many areas Many Here I am soon to be fifty eight Raising another child of God Put in my care and I took on the job Fell in love with my granddaughter A honor student Who has Jesus in her heart We pray and pray For my job is not over Blessings in the lessons Oh so many lessons Turning over all I have no control over Leaving it in his hands I teach my grandchild To thank Heavenly Father for all he provides As only he knows exactly what we need Never to forget to thank Him for it To trust Him in all She is not afraid to meet Him Please dear Father hold us tight Never let us go Guide us always towards the good Give us the strength to make it right Please hold us tightly Never letting us go To look at the lessons as they are the blessings you bestow upon us May we not sin and turn to you to be lifted into your hands I give you me Thank you for all the gifts we can’t see with the human eye Help all those who do not have you in their heart and let them find the way into you hands For all those who do not have a home or food Please provide May we provide what we can Let us never forget you walked this earth and died for our sins so we have the promise land freely This world has so much evil So many dying to drugs The Internet evil on so many levels But here to stay Help me heal from the pain I endured First from the two people I should have had fallen in love with but failed me and my sisters Marriage for all the wrong reasons and left at a young age Raised my children I was blessed to have been given Now the pain they try to inflict upon me and blocked it To concentrate on the last My precious granddaughter Blessings in the lessons I pray that the sacrifices I have made making my children priority Never bringing in a man to take me on with all my children To have the opportunity to love and be loved in return before I die So much pain and happenings that a child should never have to endure from a father who was mentally sick and a mother who knew seen and never did anything about it To know my sister endured the same This is how life began for us From then on having to make choices and decisions with that always in the back of my mind always The lessons began there And my children have no clue Hoping I serve you right by doing my very best and put you first and trust you will guide and provide me my grandchild And my sick children exactly what we need Thank you Heavenly Father Thank you Jesus Thank you Mother Mary May all my sins be forgiven In Jesus name Amen
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 12-21-2018 at 08:33 AM. |
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