Originally Posted by PamelaJune

The never ending headache has returned with a vengeance. I'm thinking I'm bound for a seizure. So does my GP. Why she didn't refer me to the neurologist I saw in 2012 is beyond me. Perhaps she thought I would go to the hospital as she suggested. Only GP's don't understand what it's like to go to ER as a chronic pain sufferer, we are labelled drug addicts. The only way to get decent treatment in hospital is to be referred & admitted under a treating specialist. Going armed with a letter from my GP will have seen me sitting in the waiting room for hours on end with no help at all and more importantly no access to pain relief.
DB is suffering severe depression and anxiety, he's curled up in the foetal position. I'm unwell, I'm in pain, but I've done the washing and now I have to yet again do his dogs welfare. He has this week off. I've suggested he go to a wellness break. NO was his answer, I got quotes to give help round the house. NO. I'm at the end of my tether, my dried up tears have found their way back I'm crying as I type, I don't think I want to live like this anymore. I can't live like this. DB thinks giving up alcohol was going to wave a magic wand and make life bearable for him, he's realising with or without alcohol he is a depressive. Maybe as I've long suggested bipolar. It's like living on the edge of a merry go round up and off of the eggshells down and the eggshells shatter. Only it's me that's shattering. He's sucking me dry, my every living moment is spent supporting helping him. I can't see the point in living like this anymore at all, my family couldn't care less about me unless they want something, DB only needs me to care for his needs, the animals need me to feed and clean up after them. I'm just a slave to everyone else but if I mention it, I'm a terrible selfish person. I've been a slave all my life trying to get my mothers approval and love, now I see the pattern with DB I'm a slave to his every whim and temper. Why is it people only want to know you when you are well and happy. But when your not they disappear like dust bunnies into the corner of the room. My head is hurting terribly, I feel disconnected and sad. Sorry everyone .