Does anyone have vaginismus and if so what methods are you using to deal with it?

I've had this condition now for over a year and it's driving me insane. I'm told it's caused by mental or emotional problems. I may have those problems but I don't want this condition and I adore my partner and we had a very active sex life before this happened.

It started off as vaginal dryness and then one day my vaagina closed and hasn't opened since. I had a radical hysterecomy a at 36, a young age which brought on menopause but I had natural lubrication until this vaginismus started.

Anyone with any methods of dealing with this?

Cheers

Rhia

Hi RhiannonsMoon.

Sorry to read that you're experiencing this distressing problem. It's not something I have, but I have heard about it, and you're right in that general consensus seems to be that it's caused by anxiety or other emotion-related reasons.

I found quite a lot of information about vaginismus on the Internet, and this explanation on a women's site, seems to be quite good.

http://www.empowher.com/media/reference/vaginismus

From what I read, treatment consists of a combination of counseling, education, and muscle exercises. Some doctors also prescribe a muscle relaxant or anti-depressant, while most would add a vaginal pessary and/or cream to help with the dryness.

I hope that helps some what.

Hi again RhiannonsMoon

I was wondering if maybe more of our female members might see your question if it was posted in our Women's Health Forum as well, so I've copied both your post and my reply over there in anticipation of more replies.

Here's the direct link for you, and good luck in getting the answers that you seek.

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sh...d.php?t=126207

Vaginismus is a VERY treatable condition, especially since yours is secondary - you've been able to have pain-free intercourse before. You can pursue self-help or, if you really feel lost, you can enlist professional help. Unfortunately a lot of doctors do not know about vag and will just tell you to "relax" or "get drunk" or something. Ugh, so unhelpful. However there ARE physical therapists, sex therapists and others who work in concert together to solve this problem.

I don't know how much information you already know, so I guess I'll just blab on. Basically the goal of treatment is to retrain your brain - and your pelvic floor muscles - to break the association of penetration with pain. Often this is is done by gradually inserting objects of increasing size into the vagina. Most women have to start very small, or start without inserting anything at all - just touching the surrounding area with a cotton ball, watching in a hand mirror and gently examining the outside of themselves, etc. There are medical supply companies where you can buy vaginal dilators: do not feel any shame or let anybody tell you that you are buying sex toys or "dildos," these are treatment tools used in many medical establishments. ** sells a set and has some good info. Don't be scared by the size of the dilators. You're not going to start with the biggest one after all! It's important the moment you feel any pain to stop trying to insert. You want to break the pain association, not re-enforce it.

Since vaginismus is often rooted in anxiety or panic disorder, anti-depressants or anxiety meds are sometimes prescribed. Lidocaine can help too (yes, it's safe to use on the inside).

Conservative treatment works around 90 percent of the time according to most studies, however there is a newish approach that involves specialists in a clinic injecting Botox. This, also, has a very high success rate, but obviously it's kind of a drastic thing to do (injecting Botox down there!) and it's not necessary in the vast majority of cases. Right now there's only a couple different centers that bother with that kind of treatment at all. However, it's given a lot of people who have the very rare, hard-to-treat vaginismus hope.

For myself- possible TMI -.... I solved my problem without seeing a specialists. A nurse suggested that I begin by using my fingers - first just my index finger, then working up to two, then three. Apparently this is the technique often recommended to women who can't afford to buy equipment. Fingers are organic, familiar and non-scary, and the best part, FREE! Three fingers is about the size of the average man and once you can get three fingers in, at least as deep as the second knuckle, WITHOUT pain, you are probably ready to try intercourse with your partner again.

Sorry for writing a novel... hope this helped you or anyone who might stumble on this thread!

I have vaginismus and unfortunately I haven't been 'cured' yet. It resulted from the onset of a pain condition, which lowered the sex drive and my partner's subsequent reactions: jealousy, intimidation, guilt tripping etc. And I have a history of being assaulted.

So far this is what I have been doing: wearing super-plus tampons every day (use lube to insert), watching erotic tv (for me it's the L word and I think the lack of male-penetration helps encourage my comfort/interest, but that's how I roll , reliving the sexual activities of my youth (I'm 37): hands, dry-^&&^&^ (actually fun), etc. and trying to get pleasure to run both ways without penetration. Putting fun back in and removing the 'threat' of intercourse helps a lot.

And I try to use Mr. Pinky (my vibe) whenever I get some time alone. It helps to keep me feeling sexual, and remind me how delicious orgasms are.

As for intercourse, it's a nightmare. I am seeing a sexual psychiatrist (what an interesting job that must be!) in the next couple weeks and will PM you the details. Over the phone they warned that seeing them is 'not a quick fix', so I may get sent home with sexual activities to do, history unearthing miseries etc., but it's for good. My pain specialist said that lidocaine would be a good idea, but didn't know how to prescribe it for this purpose (we were in the OR - no 'big book' to consult), so I'll see about that too.

For now I just try and supplement intercourse with comfortable activities, and when I do try it, practice 'pap smear breathing', bite the pillow (hush!), and try to relax my vag walls. I take extra pain medication an hour before, smoke some pot (I have a license), and use a LOT of lube targeted at matching female lubrication (look for the kind made for perimenopausal/menopausal women).

Remember this is not your fault and you did not cause this. Be good to yourself and force your partner to be good to you too.

Alice

Hello

I have actually been thinking about taking pain pills or muscle relaxers before intercourse.

Does that actually work? And will it help with the soreness afterwards.

And I didn't even know there were sexual psychaitrist l ol ...I think I need to see one.

I'm not sure which form of vag I have, primary or secondary.

I have never had pain free sex but I was never sexually assulted or abused.

Thanks for sharing.