Hi everyone,

I'm a young girl in her 20s with genital neuropathic pain. I've been suffering for 4 months and not getting better. I am slim, smart, cute, whatever but I cannot have intercourse or even outercourse. I am trying out online dating, but it seems daunting to bring up this subject.
If I say it straight out in my online profile and get asked out it still makes for an awkward first date but if I mention it after a few dates it's still horrible because by then I would like the guy and would be really hurt to be rejected on the grounds of illness.
My only other hope is dating someone really old and maybe with problems of his own (impotence)....

what would you do ??

thank you

Hi Mary Jane,
I think you are doing the right thing by being open about everything.
I do NOT think dating sites are the way to go.
There will be to many disappointments from both you and online dating guys with your condition.
I think you have done the right thing right here by opening a thread in a forum, more people with your condition , or have a friend or a family member with it - will be right HERE on this forum.
I own a dating site so it's not in my best interest to turn people away but I think there will be far to many guys looking for a no-complication relationship on a dating site.
Good luck :

Chatso

Ever—or are there exceptions?

ED and other male dysfunctions aren't limited to old guys—there are plenty of younger guys with similar issues; take a look at the thread preceding this one (at this writing). Female in a relationship with an asexual male.

There are also young men who may have been injured in combat (veterans), or accidents...

I agree that when to divulge is a conundrum. I'm not sure I'd want to put it right out there in a profile or first meeting; it's really nobody's business unless there's a real possibility for intimacy, and you don't/won't know that until after the first meeting (or several). OTOH, it's probably a good idea to make it known fairly early so as not to lead anyone on. This determination might be better made on a case by case basis rather than just putting it out there. (I'm sort of thinking aloud here; sometimes it helps to talk/write through things.)

Doc

Hi everyone,

...thank you for replying...
Right now I've deleted the part where I write the illness in my profile because I've gotten a lot of annoying messages asking for details...anyhow, this has been my problem for 5 months, I am seeking help. however, I am only 26 and I'm not made of stone..

There is nothing ELSE wrong with me...I'm "like-able".
I do realise it's hard for a relationship to subsist on daily BJ, but if I may say so, if a guy were to really like me, he could accept the situation.

I hate online dating, but with my life consumed by hospital visits and studying, I don't have the opportunity to meet other people than my 19yo colleagues.

Hey Mary Jane how's you?hope your good
I'm a 25 year old Irish man I'm a very happy chappy
I put a smile on every 1st face I'm good lucking a charmer and very romantic when j get the chance but I can just never tell a girl only in this I'm hoping this is Gona help me..but it's hard saying this my balls never dropped it still works or and ....nobody knows I've hidden well trough out the years.i have a great job and I'm a very genuine person every 1 gets a good laugh out of me..I've just set this up literally just this min..basically this is my chance to help my self and some 1 else ...it's all a lil weird but if you wana chat I'm be glad a that..

Although it may seem like a long time, four months is not that long when it comes to treating neuropathic pain. Have you tried anything other than the Elavil? This is usually one of the first drugs to try for such pain, but it's very often not the best. Neuropathic pain is very often treated with a combination of antidepressants, antispasmodics, and muscle relaxants, with narcotics frequently prescribed for breakthrough pain. If the Elavil is not giving enough relief, I'd suggest asking your doctor about switching to Effexor or Cymbalta, and perhaps adding an anticonvulsant like Tegretol, Lamictal, Neurontin, or Lyrica.

I believe you will find good relief from your neuropathic pain. Just be patient, as finding the right medication(s) can take a while (I am speaking from experience, as an occipital neuralgia sufferer for many years). So if my experience is any guide, don't give up on sex. It's much too early to sentence yourself to a life without a satisfying sex life.