I'll be 5 weeks post-op from a hysterectomy (kept my ovaries) on Thursday. On May 9th I'll see my doctor for my 6 week appointment and get the all clear to finally be able to have sex again. My husband is counting days at this point, maybe even hours.

I find myself having two problems with this date coming up and I'd like suggestions on how to tackle them. First, while the sex we do have is pretty great I find that my libido is come and go. It can take some serious effort to get me to "on" even though I'm well aware that it's worth the time and effort. I haven't been on any of the meds I'm on for as long as this has been a problem, and I'm wondering if it's related to problem two maybe?

Problem two, I have CRPS which affects my entire left leg to the hip and into my lower back and my entire right arm, from my hand into my shoulder, back, neck and my left face/head. It is extraordinarily painful about 90% of the time to be touched at all on my left side, more so the later in the day it gets. And of course... he's a night time kind of guy.

We don't share a bed because I can't deal with someone else in a bed moving or being bumped so sex just isn't going to happen organically. One of us needs to drag the other to bed. Is there anything anyone has discovered as a way to overcome or bypass pain issues to better enjoy sex. It can be rather distracting at times. And since the issue has been going on so long, short of bringing this up with a doctor (which I may do but just not atm) is it possible/likely that the libido thing is just because of I don't want to deal with the pain? To be perfectly honest, I find that 1-2 times a week I would be perfectly happy to jump (jump meaning limp to and collapse) into bed early in the day if he were home, but he's off at work.

As a chronic painee, I would say it's likely a factor. CP alters many pathways in the brain. For some, spontaneity is a fond memory; even with planning/scheduling, things can be tentative at best.

Doc

If that's the case, do you have any ideas on how to deal with it? I want my exciting sex life back, but I'd be happy with having a regular (as in regularly having sex) sex life back.

Still figuring that out/working on it ourselves.

Some of my reticence is due to our pain particulars being quite different, and I don't want to presume.

As far as libido goes, CP can raise havoc with hormones—particularly testosterone (but others as well), which works in similar ways for both men & women (except that women have/need only about 10% what men do). I want to emphasize it's not about additional/excess amounts; it's about testing first, and replacing/supplementing only what is deficient to get back to normal.

Testosterone Replacement in Chronic Pain Patients

Testosterone Replacement in Female Chronic Pain Patients

As far as the practical aspects:

RSD and SEX

sex with crps

sex with chronic pain

I know I don't need to tell you the importance of communication, commitment (to keep trying as well as to each other), and humor.

Doc

Mindfulness Meditation was just suggested, as it can be done during...

Doc

Thanks. I used to try this a little but for some reason or another it is one of those things that just fell by the wayside for me. I'll look more into it again.