Obviously, that's not going to happen but here's my problem. I dated this girl for 3 years in high school and towards the end of the relationship, we started having sex because we loved each other and thought we would be together forever...how naive we were. I was 18 then and i am 20 now and in college. I'm no longer with her but instead, i am with another girl. We've been best friends since high school and we are so close. We love each other's company and we decided to take our relationship to the next level. Everythings been going great except for one thing...i'm not a virgin and she is and she has no idea i've had sex already. I think this will really cause a problem because we are both christians and believe in waiting. I hate myself for what i've done and i'm so afraid of hurting her and losing her if i tell her but i know i have to tell her. I don't know when the time is right and i don't know what to do. This has been weighing heavily on my mind lately. Any advice would be helpfull.

Hi teamwork and welcome to NeuroTalk.

I obviously can't help you with what you wish but if you're interested in my opinion....virginity is highly over rated and Christians are heavy into forgiveness. I'm sure it'll be fine.

You want it back?
I don't understand that, really. If you had sex before you should know that sex is finding that special 'touch' in eachother. So with every other partner, you will be a virgin again. You have to find what she likes best, and vice versa. And then find out what you both like to feel comfortable with. Sex is like dancing, finding eachother's rhythmics. I wish you luck to find your new girlfriend's hers! And for her, to find yours, and for your both, to find eachother's ;-)

well you cant get it back but you cant run away from the truth either .
you should tell her the truth rather than have her waiting and thinking that she gonna spend her life with you , when the whole time you're hiding sometihng from her . it will ruin her thoughts about you in someways but if she really loves you , she'll keep the relationship rather than risking it all just because your not a virgin anymore.

By taking it to the next level do you mean marriage and your afraid to tell her on your wedding night you've been with someone before? OR, do you mean your taking it to another level and going to have sex with her? Either way, don't wreck yourself over this. If she loves you she'll love you even if your not a virgin. But in some ways, you are, because it's going to be new to both of you right?

My best advice is be honest if it's bothering you and then relax. If she leaves you because of this then it's best to know now then when something even bigger comes along. And it will, trust me, no relationship is perfect. Good luck to you and give yourself some slack and relax.

just a note , this thread is from 2007.

ROTFLMAO!!! Ummm, so it's safe to say they figured it out by now! Thanks Jo for the laugh today!

I've gotta hand it to you, Pearl2000.
That response was fantastic and beautifully put.
You've got a great heart & that was a wonderful piece of advise.
I could not agree more!! You are 100% dead-on, correct!