A question about sex, eh! Mary, are you really Canadian? Quick, who scored the winning goal in the 1972 Canada/Russia hockey series? lol

I agree with much of what has been said. This is a complex issue that I doubt has one definitive answer. For example, menopause doesn't lower the libido in all women. Some, for example, find they're more relaxed knowing there is no risk of conception. (Their kids must be terrors.)

I think that fatigue is another factor in this problem. Pain, and getting through the day in pain, is exhausting. Sex takes a lot of energy.

Psychological factors are also at play. In addition to an altered body image, I also think that resentment toward a partner who doesn't always understand the trials of our daily lives can lower desire. "Come hither, you big, insensitive clod." See what I mean?

Cheers

I wouldn't blame it all on menopause either.
Physical, emotional, relationship play a part, as well as a person's general attitude /upbringing.

Maybe you can experiment with different "toys", and see if any of them can elicit pleasurable sensations for you? I rarely have orgasms anymore, but I still enjoy stimulation.

A toy I'm eager to try out is called a violet wand. My friend swears by it!

Or
"come hither you pot-bellied stallion."

After having a number of symptoms and a whirlwind of doctors with conflicted opinions, I was dx'ed with Guillian-Barre. My sex drive was near non-existent after my twins were born 3 years ago (yes, i know it's a long time). Now, it no longer exists and with me being on Celexa, which is notorious for killing the desire, I am now feeling like I could care less for it. My partner is very understanding but it makes me feel very guilty since we are so young. This is not a mechanical or physical problem either, so toys or other things will not help. It's just that mentally I no longer want it hardly at all.

Hockey said: "a partner who doesn't always understand the trials of our daily lives can lower desire. "Come hither, you big, insensitive clod." See what I mean?"

ROFLWMP (literally)

Over many years I discovered that lack of desire did not mean I couldn't get aroused. I finally realized that turning down sex with my beloved was making him unhappy and I stopped saying no. It was amazing how our relationship, and his sensitivity, improved after that. No longer fearing rejection, he bloomed. I am lucky -- he is gone, and I have sweet memories and no remorse about loving words unsaid.