Fear is awful. It makes us get stuck in our tracks. Reach out for support in your community and to us here. You are not alone. I too have had times where I can't sleep. depression, lack of a good body, all kinds of stuff. So I push myself, washing the floor on my butt if I can't walk or stand. I hate what is happening to my body too. take ambien, doesn't do much for me either, so I work at whatever I can until I drop from being tired. Today I am going to sit in the garage, on my butt, and wash and paint the floor. I have to sell my home, and don't have a clue where I will go. I won't let fear, and this raggity body of mine stop me from some kind of life. I am here for you. So is NT. Write to me and I will try to get back to you as soon as I can. I am burning the candle in my own life. Call clergy, even the emergency number, to get help if you need it. Keep writing to us. You have friends right here. ginnie