[karousel]

Every year I bake cookies (one of my favorite things to do) and always bake extra so that I can give a plate of cookies to my three closest neighbors. During the past year I have been going for walks and getting together with one of these neighbors. Last year this neighbor gave me a gift for Christmas, after I gave her the gift of cookies. Today we went for lunch together and I gave her my gift of cookies again. She in turn had a gift for me.

I feel terrible because she gave me an actual gift and I only gave her cookies! When this kind of thing happens I never know how I should handle it. It is embarrassing because all I gave her were cookies yet I can't afford to exchange gifts with all of my new friends (I've made quite a few over the past few years). Even my best friend and I stopped exchanging gifts and just go out for dinner or to a show together instead because we can't think of what to get one another that we don't already have.

I said thank you when she gave the gift to me but now that I see what's in it I plan on calling her and thanking her again so I can comment on the great gift(s) she gave me. Next year I'll know to pick something up for her but I'm not sure what to do right now. Is calling and saying thank you enough or should I go buy her an actual gift?

[Kitt]

Calling and saying "Thank you" is enough. Your gift of cookies was a gift. I'm sure she appreciates it. JMO

[Jodylee]

Don't feel guilty, K! You gave her a wonderful gift . I would just send her a nice thank you note or card. Homemade gifts really are the best kind. That's all I can afford this year too.

I felt bad at first also but then I realized that it really is the thought and effort that count.

[Debbie D]

A gift of cookies takes time, money, and a sweaty brow...it is just as valuable (and as valued) as any store-bought gift.
You have nothing to feel uncomfortable about, dear...
Bless you for sharing food as a gift...it is a gift of comfort...esp yummy cookies!

[karousel]

Thank you! You are making me feel much better.

[Kitty]

I agree with everyone......never be ashamed of a gift that you made yourself. I look at handmade/homemade gifts as a gift directly from the heart. It's something that nobody can go out and buy or duplicate.

I'm sure she appreciated the gift and is probably touched that you thought enough of her to give her something you made yourself. And you know.....she might be the one feeling like she didn't put enough thought into her gift to you! Anyone can stop at Target and buy a little trinket and plop it in a gift bag. I'd much rather have the handmade gift any day. You did good!

[tkrik]

Karousel - Funny I should see this today as I had lunch with one of my best friends today. She knows I don't have money for gifts and she knows that making cookies is too tiring for me. Every year she gives us a plate of cookies and I give her a card. She was telling me how good it felt to do this for me and I was telling her how much I appreciated it AND that she includes some of my favorite treats that she makes, which is so thoughtful. She loves doing this for me. This plate of cookies means so much more to me than if she bought a gift AND just the friendship we have alone is enough of a gift for both of us.

It is hard for me as a giver not to be able to give much so I do know how you feel. Befriending you neighbor as you have may mean more to her than you think. As others have said, the gift of a plate of cookies is a gift of love. Debbie is right, it takes time, money, and love to make all of those cookies. Write her a thank you note for both the gift she gave you and for her friendship. That would be thanks enough.

[karousel]

I thanked her again for her gifts. I made sure to tell her that I already started burning the candle and it smells wonderful! She told me she appreciated the cookies because she doesn't bake much anymore. She also said our friendship means a lot and she knows it means a lot to me too! If we hadn't had our water problem, we would never would have become friends. It's funny how you form a friendship out of the oddest thing! Thank you guys for your input, it's nice to know there are others out there who find homemade gifts to be good gifts.

[BOB FROM N.O.]

In my opinion, saying thanks is more than enough.

Saying thanks is like icing on the cake and I’m sure she was very happy with the cookies.

I’m new here but that is my opinion.

BOB FROM N.O.