Well ... start writing a book and title it

100,001 things of what NOT
to do in Cooking
by .......

And I'm sure it'll be a Best Seller!

PS: Would you sign mine? I'd like it
in hardcover please!

PSS: I asked first!

A hundred years ago...... when my sister was in home ec class, before they started calling it FAX... the recipe she and her friend were making was "Dollar Hot Cakes"...

well to make a long story short... much to the teacher's dismay... she wondered why they had the spatula trying to keep the batter from running out in a circle shape......

well, you guessed it... they were trying to shape them like a paper dollar bill!!!!! SHE HAS NEVER LIVED IT DOWN!!!!

Don't you know home ec teachers have a lot of stories to tell?

A friend of mine was making brownies and it asked for a "cup of coffee". She added a cup of coffee GROUNDS. They were mighty crunchy brownies.

Great thread... so far I have not started a fire (set off the alarm may times!), but I have left the bag of gizzards in a turkey (yuck) but apparently that is family tradition!

The very first time I tried to roast a chicken, I ended up serving burnt raw chicken. It was burnt on the outside and raw on the inside. Needless to say we dined out that night!


And the first time I tried to make my mom's home made from scratch pudding recipe, from the list of ingredients she sent me, sans instructions how to combine them and cook them (she assumed I remembered from all the times I used to watch her) . . . I dumped the cornstarch into the simmering milk and sugar mixture, and got a milk-covered lump of cornstarch . . . . three times in a row. Each batch got dumped down the drain . . . I just couldn't get the hang of it or give up! (I now proudly make the recipe in the microwave -- perfectly every time! She would be so proud of me!)

As a newlywed back in the early 70's, I could not make fried chicken, or even a good roast . . . but I made killer beef stroganoff and incredible lemon meringue pie! Go figure . . .

I made baked rice custard once and forgot to put the rice in it.................

But my sister's cooking out shone mine!

She made a whole batch of lamingtons and rolled the whole lot in Gravox (powdered gravy) instead of chocolate, and then wondered why the coconut wouldn't stick!!

I am Lady Veteran,
I tried to cook my ex husband some Chicken ( I got married at 18) and Let;s just say I know a good remedy for the pot holes in the roads. I seasoned the chicken and forgot to flour it. I fried that chicken for 45 minutes! and boiled the rice for 30! Let's just say I also found a way to preserve I mean mummify things. We ate out that night!

I am an excellent cook now - have to be careful who I cook for (keep getting marriage proposals)

Don't know if I told you this story, but it's so funny you won't mind.

I was married one week. I could cook but I couldn't COOK!!! if you get my drift.

I married a jewish man who used to eat Spaghetti with Ketchup (yup, that's my Alan).

He told me "I would love lasagna". I said "sure, tonight when you come home, you'll have my special homemade lasagna". ??????????????????????????????

Who the heck knew how to make lasagna?? My mother would bring this lovely large pan filled with delicious long noodles and sauce and ricotta!!!!

Did I KNOW HOW TO RE-CREATE THIS??? Of course not.

So after he left for work, I went to the store, bought a frozen Celentano (just pop it in the oven kind), BIG tray of Lasagna.

I put it in the oven at 3 p.m. I took a bag of flour, threw it around the kitchen, on the floor, on the walls, on myself....etc.

My kitchen looked a mess. I looked a mess. (Get the picture?)

He walks in the door at 6 p.m. and he sees me sitting all wilted and exhausted (with flour all over me),in the chair and the kitchen all looking like it did, and he blurts out. "Oh you poor thing, you did this all for me??"

I served him the Lasagna, with a nice salad and some veggies (I did cook that).

He was a happy man.

I've never told him. I mean why spoil the fact that he thought I knew how to cook?

lol