[AfterMyNap]

The Serial Befriender

Beware of the classic Serial Befriender! No one is safe! Guard your vulnerability for those who will treasure it and reserve your devotions for those who will reciprocate your gift!

It seems like we've all known at least one individual who simply will not keep a platonic friendship beyond that initial period of infatuation and flattery. This chronic cycle begs the question of whether it's a habit, some unconscious insecurity, a form of self-preservation, or perhaps a deliberate refusal to become honestly invested with any other individual in a meaningful, lasting way.

There are those with whom a pattern emerges disclosing a perpetual habit of flitting from friend to friend as if the poor, unsuspecting sots have an expiration date stamped on their unprotected hearts. The victims simply become as disposable as candy wrappers leaving a heap of trash in the sofa cushions of society.

It is, of course, unrealistic to expect that all of our friendships will last a lifetime —many friendships have their own limited lifetimes— yet, when one routinely, casually pledges a deeper level of commitment and intimacy that is then suddenly and inexplicably revoked, it is plain that a Serial Befriender is at large. These crimes against humanity are both hurtful and disturbing to those who experience the ambush, as well as for those who witness it from the sidelines.

For anyone who has enjoyed lasting friendships, this chronic disappearing act is an affront to all the basics of true friendship. No one who has managed to maintain a true friendship escapes the inevitable disagreements and difficulties, but when a friendship is valuable to both parties, the effort to resolve differences is the rule rather than the exception. We humans are designed to communicate and express our thoughts to one another.

There is no sure way to avoid the snare of a Serial Befriender, the rush of joy and freshness is most intoxicating! To protect oneself from the crushing blows of a Serial Befriender, one must be on guard and ration vulnerability with care and the realization that hopes and expectations of lifetime friendship simply may not be mutual to both parties.