NeuroTalk Support Groups - What do YOU do when there is really Nothing you WANT to do??

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I wish there was something I could say that would turn things around for you, Wiix..:hug: You have had a lot of challenges to overcome, and you have overcome them! You're a Very Important Person here, and a terrible immune system doesn't change that. Whatever you decide to do (or not do :)), enjoy the day! Now..I'm gonna try take some of my own advise..

Yea, I know, it's Very limiting. Ihave to either work out alone in my house OR go for a walk OUTSIDE by myself. It's hard to find a walking buddy.

I think I came to a conclusion this morning about my mental state. I think what is going on with me is an old term "BURN OUT". I can hear Kramer on Seinfeld, in my head saying "I'm Burned Out Man, I Need my massage!" A massage WOULD be so nice but recently have been out of my price range. I used to get them almost every week when I was married, I NEEDED them along with a subtantial amount of alcohol to put up with the JERK. After 13 years of HIM, anyone would be Burned Out. I wanted OUT after 5 years but THOUGHT things would get better if I stayed, BIG MISTAKE!! It almost ended with a Murder, MINE. :o

I am going to make a list of things that I Should do today and if I get them done, well, good for me. :winky: Me First though. Long, hot shower, a nice breakfast, some Irish tea and something Sweet. :hug: Maybe TRY to get out in the sun for a bit.

I will not tell you to go out and be around crowds of people who will make you feel sick, and in turn that will make you feel worse about life in general.

You DO deserve to live YOUR life as you see fit.

I am glad you have your iguana to talk to. (I had a few of them, and they can be great companions)

:)

There are days that if it weren't for my pets, I'd feel completely alone in this life. And I thank God for every little furry, scaley, wingy thing that has come into my life.

They do not ask for more than food and water and a decent place to be. They don't judge you based on how good yu look, how clean your house is, or how much money you have. They don't care if you're witty, a good hostess, or have the latest fashions, lol.

They do listen when you talk. They do make you laugh, snuggle with you, are there for you all the time, in your worst times, and to share your best times.

And if my only purpose on this earth is to make life better for them, to pull a few puppies from shelters, to feed papaya to my Jake, to offer sugar to a few hummingbirds and plant a flower for some butterflies, that suits me fine.

Give that iguana some cabbage for me, and a hug too. And tell her she makes today a little better.

You know, to the world, you may be only one person, but to one person (or iguana) you may be the whole world.

:hug:

Wow Wiix. I read your post and thought I had typed it!

I am the youngest of 5 kids. I too have always felt I was in the wrong family. My mother got pregnant with me by mistake. (I was born 9 years after the 4th child) So my mother never bonded with me. My oldest sister was 11 when I was born and she pretty much took care of me. She even tells me she feels she's my mom.

I was on Avonex for 4 years. It lowered my WBC and weakened my immune system to the point that if I was around anyone sick I would catch it. So I totally understand having to isolate yourself because of your immune system.

I had been going to church since 1989. The last church I attended for over 3 years. I served in various forms, prepared meals for sick ppl, catered the womens conference, etc. Then one time I was having to have a steriod treatment b/c I had been sick all winter from the weakened immune system. DH told several women in the church I would be having the treatment and asked if they'd call and check on me. The steriods are very hard on my body. I lay on the couch all week. No one called. The following week I was feeling better. Then someone did call....to ask me to prepare a meal for someone in the church who was sick. I told the woman I wasn't feeling so well myself.

I haven't been back to church since. I went off the Avonex and for the past two years haven't had a cold since.

Unfortunately I live next door to a nut job who came into my backyard a couple months ago and attacked me.

I had an MS attack because of it. (I can't prove it was b/c of the attack, but I KNOW it was)

Had MRIs done and my MS doctor called and wants me back on meds.

It makes me so angry to think I was doing so well and b/c of this nut job I have to decide if I can endure going back on meds.

I don't have the strength to save the world. I don't even have the strength to save me most of the time. If I'm able to keep up w/ the housework I feel like I've accomplished something. But then I wonder, this is what my life is for?....housework?

I too love to sit outside and watch the birds and animals. I have a bunny too that lives in my yard.

I try to be grateful I have a roof over my head and food to eat.

I too have realized I wasn't living in reality. That I thought my life was one way, but the last few months I've realized how my life really is...and how some of my relationships really are. Next week I'll be married 13 years. I'm seeing my DH and our relationship in a whole new 'light'. It's been very...sobering.

I get my social interaction via the internet (emails, forums) or by phone. Right now at least that's all my strength will allow.

If you were a healthy person my advice would be to get out and find some kind of interaction with others.

But what can you do when you're not a healthy, normal person and you can't interact with others normally? Maybe hearing a voice would help. Maybe getting some phone numbers of people you chat with online and talking on the phone with them would help some.

You are definitely not alone in your feelings. And you definitely aren't alone :grouphug:

Actually just talking about all this with you wonderful, sensitive people IS helping me feel SO much better.

Unless YOU have actually experienced the "Going out to be with people then getting SICK for MONTHS because of it" Syndrome, you really can't understand the total feeling of Hopelessness. I used to have a lot of friends as a teen but my Mother interfered with everyone of them and I lost all my friends. Friends I should be able to have contact NOW with but I have No idea where they are anyway. But that ship has sailed. I think about how I would like to go to a museum or live theatre or a Festival but first off I don't like going alone and second I don't KNOW anyone who would go with me and third, I'd Probably end up sick and is it worth it? :( Kind of a Dead End, isn't it?

Yes, I know what you mean about just keeping up with what needs doing in the house is such a chore sometimes, no MOST of the time. It's just OLD. I've done everything THOUSANDS of times already, it has JUST lost it's charm. :o Pleasure from just doing simple things is eluding me these days.

I also had a sister but she was 13 years older than me and she left home when I was 5 so I really have no memory of her and I as siblings. My Mother had 7 pregnacies but only 4 children, me being the last one born but she was TIRED and Worn out by then and really sort of pawned me off to neighbors and friends most of the time. She worked and travelled a lot so I hardly ever saw her. I don't remember any "Tender" times with her. I think I was just in her way and a bother. she didn't want me. she SAID she did but her actions told me otherwise. Yet when I had My daughter she was right there for HER. Which upset me tremendously to see her doing things for her that she never did for me and pushing me aside during the whole thing. My mother was NOT very nice to me at all. I will NEVER get over it either.

I totally understand about the mother issue.

God designed us to have a bond w/ our mother and when that doesn't happen it is practically impossible to 'fix'. You're dealing w/ some very deep wounds. But I understand them. :hug:

When I don't have anything to do, I'm usually on the net or one of the rooms. Thats why I asked, how come no one hardly goes in the chat rooms :(

Wiix and Baxter...

:grouphug:

That is SOOOO sad about your mothers!

I was also the youngest - of six! - and my oldest brother was 12 yrs old when I was born. But I was lucky. I felt close to and loved by my mom. I can't imagine what that must have been like for you two.

I think my mom clung so tightly to me because my father died right after I was born. She needed the comfort, you know?

I'm also lucky that my immune system is like fort Knox, lol. I never get nothing but weird disorders nobody can dx or treat.

:rolleyes:

So I'm home alot too. But you know, you can tour the Louvre at home( online)? I checked that out... very cool, if you want to do that. I bet other museums are online too. And you can watch some movies, TV shows, and stuff like that. Just search em up. No germy people. And your bunny and iguana can come too - even better.

I like to set up my laptop with a movie in my bird room and watch a show with my birds once in a while. You wouldn't believe how much they enjoy that.

:)

They especially love the popcorn and stuff, lol.

The dogs don't care about these things, but birds love Pirate movies.
:p

I found something recently that is kind of fun, name pictures for Google. It's fun when you first begin but you do run out of ideas after a while but you can always go back again when you are rested: http://images.google.com/imagelabeler/

I just read the posts by Wiix & Baxter. Wiix, I have epilepsy. Do you know or think you do? Either way, you should see your neurologist. Maybe he can find a certain thing that needs looking at, to help you 'feel better' and you then can try different meds to help you. Also, I know what it's like to 'not have a mom'. My mom died of cancer 3 months before my 9th birthday. But perhaps you'd say it's worse to have a mom who doesn't seem to care. I was too embarrassed to ask my dad 'girl stuff' & a mom coulda helped. All sorts of little things. When I was going to get married, so was my GF. Her, her mom & I went to the bridal salon when she tried on her dress, when she was putting it on & said "Here mom, hold my watch" I started to cry cuz I knew I'd never be saying that to my mom. I'm home alone alot too. (BTW, I'm 50) Mostly my kids are at school, work or out w/friends and I can't look forward to my DH coming home cuz many times he is out of town. (June 2 he starts his longest trip....till mid. Sept. Only able to come home every other weekend.) I don't drive & as I said, my kids are usually not home to take me places. So I go without. I too am close my one of my dogs. One mostly lays on the coach all day but my other one is great. She is so soft, like my big live stuffed animal. I talk to both of them too. I had a terrible ache in my head & it hurt so much, they looked & knew something was wrong, your pets can 'read you'. Cheer up hun.