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-   -   A Question about a neighbor................. (https://www.neurotalk.org/social-chat/48089-question-neighbor.html)

Wiix 06-17-2008 01:07 PM

It's NOT like we have a Hostile co-existence here. I have been friendly towards her. I even took her cat when she went into hospital for a week. I did ask her WHY she moved from where she came and got sort of a vague answer. This may be the reason. IF she has a mental problem or physical that causes her screaming, living HERE is not going to fly. This is a very quiet building with high ceilings, hardwood floors and marble hallways so sound TRAVELS Immensely. This IS going to be a problem for her and those who live around her. She does need to be somewhere else, not here. This will only end badly I think.

It isn't MY fault so please don't blame me for reacting to this as any Normal person would.

mrsD 06-17-2008 01:07 PM

Well...
 
If men are coming and going and this worries you too, I'd stroll outside and look at license plates and write them down in your log that is keeping track of the screams. I would be discrete about it so as not to arouse suspicions.

Do you know her full name? Does she go to work every day?
How old is she? Family? living alone?

I'd try and Google her, and also check the free public records for your state and county. It is amazing what a person can find out these days! ;)

For a small fee you can even find out if she has a criminal record.

Since it has been 2 months already, a welcome wagon approach would be awkward.

I for one don't think your neighbor has a medical reason like Tourette's. I just get a feeling about this at this point.

But keeping yourself busy with the log and documentation is one way to keep yourself less anxious about it all... acting is always better than reacting.

Wiix 06-17-2008 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by who moi (Post 303260)
ummmmm...that she's trying to sell herself on ebay?? LOLOLOL

do what you need to do, girlfriend!

did you get the new Super Mario Brawl???? I might invest in a WII later this year

:hug:

OH My. :( I have the feeling you are being VERY Sarcastic.

Wiix 06-17-2008 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrsd (Post 303277)
If men are coming and going and this worries you too, I'd stroll outside and look at license plates and write them down in your log that is keeping track of the screams. I would be discrete about it so as not to arouse suspicions.

Do you know her full name? Does she go to work every day?
How old is she? Family? living alone?

I'd try and Google her, and also check the free public records for your state and county. It is amazing what a person can find out these days! ;)

For a small fee you can even find out if she has a criminal record.

Since it has been 2 months already, a welcome wagon approach would be awkward.

I for one don't think your neighbor has a medical reason like Tourette's. I just get a feeling about this at this point.

But keeping yourself busy with the log and documentation is one way to keep yourself less anxious about it all... acting is always better than reacting.


I guess I could look at her mailbox.

soxmom 06-17-2008 01:36 PM

Does she have a boyfriend::o ? I once lived with someone whos girlfriend
was really loud when they were "friendly" together.:o:o:confused:

Just a thought , Good luck.:)

Chemar 06-17-2008 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wiix (Post 303276)

It isn't MY fault so please don't blame me for reacting to this as any Normal person would.

I dont think anyone is "blaming" you Wixx.....

you did post this as a "question" and so all are just answering from their own perspective.

for me, the "normal" way to handle this would be to first try to find out possible reasons, rather than just telling someone to stop it or report them.
Justasking "do you have Tourette syndrome and is there a reason why you scream so loudly? I am concerned for you" should IMHO let you get an idea of what is going on


I sure DO understand how this could get to you....just trying to explain how it might be from her side too, IF this is illness or disorder related.:o


I guess living with a son and husband who have disorders that cause them to be very misunderstood has made me hypersensitive to the plight of others.

lor 06-17-2008 02:09 PM

Someone said something about calling 911. You can get in trouble by calling 911 over & over but you 'could' tell them there must be something wrong, she just screamed. Next time tell them she screamed again & you are getting very worried'. This way you have a ligitamate (sp) reason for calling them & she's the one that will be warned then ???.

I think this is how it works.

who moi 06-17-2008 02:22 PM

well, I was on my way to take a break...

but I wanted to assure you that I was NOT being sarcastic...

these were my points:

1) I've been on that end. But I understand that others need their sleep. So I choose to find a place that I can live in. It is VERY hard to find a neighborhood that you DON'T bother. And what if someone has TS and can't afford to live in a nice secluded neighborhood but can only afford low income housings? How do we become courteous by NOT being able to help our tics when NO meds would helP?

I was homeless for 2 weeks cause I wasn't able to find a place that would let me stay. But hey, that's MY sad story...

2) most people with TS or disorders that others "look" at develop a sense of DEFENSE. It's natural. Get asked a hundred times a day about "what's wrong with you"

you get tired of answering it.

Get teased at 100 times a day makes you tired of even talking about it.

3) I got threatened quite a few times with people wanting to beat me up cause of it, I guess for that, I am in even more fear of exposing myself. I would always used to tell them that I have a really bad allergy. But it was just a lie and making things worse

it's one thing to be teased. It's another thing when someone says that you are hitting on their girlfriend cause you happen to have eye tics. It is something different when you bark or make loud noises and someone says that you are annoying the hell outta them and that you'd be shut up or I am going to kill you...

So, this is how I live...I choose to work for myself and rarely go out...but I CHOSE that life...nobody chose it for me...and I BLAME no one else for it.

There was a time when I was truly angry with everyone and the society and the world...but that's not me any longer...I try to find that body/mind connection and try to connect myself with the world through the www these days...and I've met tons and tons of wonderful folks. The solidifys my belief that the world is a LOT better than I realized...


I think there are many sides to this...

IF you are able to find out what she has, if it is neuro related. She might be open to the fact that you belong to a neuro place and might open up to you. But you DON'T have to do that, that ISN'T your job

Meds don't always help with tics. If they did, TS and Parkinsons would be cured...

IF she's screaming because of her sickled cell, then, maybe by showing her that you understand and care, she might open up to you as well. But you DON'T have to do that, that ISN'T your job...

But if she's selling herself on the street and making OTHER noises. That's different. I was joking about cause Nappy and I were having fun with the bot thread about bot's sister selling herself on Ebay.

I never mean any harm and if I was being sarcastic and mean, trust me, you'd know it.

Oh well, I am pretty weary myself and need to get myself outta here...I just didn't wanted to leave that you thought I was being sarcastic? I can totally understand your situation...

GOOD LUCK IN WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE, in ALL sincerety

Wiix 06-17-2008 03:11 PM

Wow!!! wm. That was a complete turnaround on your part. :eek: Your First post made me sort of NOT like you, the second shed a whole new and different light on who you are. :eek: I wouldn't think those posts TWO were the same person.:o

:hug:

I am getting a whole education on people with Tourette's in here BUT I don't think that is my neighbor's problem.

It Really has to Suck to have this problem. If I had it and was reacted to by society in general the way it's being described here, I would probably think about a detatched home somehow, AWAY from other people. The fact that I was bothering someone whether I could control it or not would probably bother me too.

I once designed a group living type home that would cater to something like that. I titled it "The Spoke". I wish I had saved that drawing so I could show you but I threw it out Long ago.


It had a central HUB/Common area but each individual living space for ONE person connected to this HUB by a corridor and each living space was Super Sound Proofed with grass and gardens inbetween each POD. The entire structure looked, from above, like a bicycle wheel. That's why I named it "The Spoke". I was into designing unusual living spaces at the time and did many Round homes. It was just a phase BUT IF I had the resourses to implement such a thing, I'd do it. :winky::hug: How nice that would be. :rolleyes:

SandyC 06-17-2008 04:17 PM

Wii, did you know Who Moi also designs interior spaces? He's really good at it and was helping Twinkletoes with ideas on building wheelchair accessible housing. How cool is that? You both have something in common. :D

Ok, back to your situation. I don't have any advice except to maybe try and talk to your neighbor. I wouldn't start calling 911 without trying to get to know her first. Know for sure that she doesn't have an illness causing her screaming. If I called 911 on someone only to find they were sick, I'd feel just awful. The scariest part is what if the one time she screams, she really needs help, and no one calls because they are used to it? Scary.


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