Hi.

I wrote something previously, but I just edited it. It wasn't proper in this type of post. I'm just going to address your husband's behavior.

He's completely clueless as to your needs. The fact that he holes himself up in his room for all these hours (by himself), and is an engineer, well, it tells me one thing.

This guy has a possible diagnosis of Aspergers going on.

Click on this and you'll learn all about it.

http://theemergencesite.com/Tech/Tec...rgers-Big4.htm

It's not the most terrible thing to have. It's just that people with Aspergers do not like to be sociable. They are into themselves, and many are enginners, computer people who are perfectly content to be alone, and work alone. It's just how their brains work.

They are often married to opposites who take very good care of them, and they simply like to be left alone to do their work. Oh, they'll come out for meals, come out for bedtime, they have normal sex drives, THEY JUST ARE NOT COMFORTABLE HAVING COMPANY OVER THE HOUSE, and sitting and shooting the breeze on the porch.

To them, this is an inefficient way to spent time.

It's a very mild form of autism. It's mostly men. 99% of them are men.

Most men are never diagnosed. It was discovered by Hans Asperger in 1944 and it's named after him.

It has been said that Bill Gates and Albert Einstein had Aspergers.

My son has it by the way. In his case it took him away from us and he spends 100% of his day on the computer and in a virtual reality world.

There are millions of woman like you, married to guys who don't get it.

Now how can you MAKE HIM GET IT!!!!

Ah, that's the bonus.

YOU CAN.

It takes a lot of determination.

Let me know what you think about what I just wrote, and I'll give you some tips in a private message.

I even have my own forum on parents of kids with aspergers.

People with Aspergers just need to be handled differently.

And it helps when you know they have it VERY EARLY IN THE MARRIAGE.

But all is not lost.

Believe me, all is not lost.

Melody

:hug: cheryl

i am sorry your having a rough time right now ... sounds to me that a little one on one communication is needed ... remember that each day one of you is having to face the question of "what can i / can't i do today" while at the same time the other is facing the question of "how can i make things easier/ less stressful" sometimes these to very simple issues can cause hurt feelings ... also, when you guys do talk and you feel he is saying one thing but maybe meaning another ask him.... dont just assume that that is what he means ... and let him know how you're feeling... chances are he isn't aware of how you feel about your life at this moment ... without communication though .... how can he ...
my thoughts and prayers are with you .... keep us posted .... you have friends here