One more thing I forgot to put in when I made my post.

IF I KNEW THEN WHAT KNOW NOW!!

And this is an important one.

When I walked into my home and saw my mother at the kitchen table with a glass of scotch (I was 13 years old, and I thought EVERYBODY's mom was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a glass of scotch, I THOUGHT THIS WAS PERFECTLY NORMAL!!!, Every day.

Well, because of what I know NOW about alcohol abuse, I would have told my father "Dad, you have to realize that mom has a drinking problem, we must try and get her help".

I know that people have to help themselves, but give me a break, when one does absolutely nothing, and just sits there and watches while a person destroys themselves with booze and pills, and they have such personality and mood changes because of drinking....well, If I had known THEN what I know now.... perhaps if I had told someone, then that someone might have driven her to an AA meeting.

But back then (almost 48 years ago), no one knew about AA and people had social drinks in the evening with their dinners.

but honestly, coming home at 3 p.m. and seeing my mother just sitting there with that glass of scotch, well, no one did anything, nor said anything.

Life would have been a whole lot better if that issue had been addressed and dealt with.

But we can't go back, can we??

If I knew what I know now

I wouldn't have gotten married right out of high school.

I would have gone to college sooner than I did ( I started at 45)

I would have gotten out of my marriage sooner than I did (but not before I had my 3 wonderful sons)

I would have taken more time to play and less time to work

I would have traveled and explored more places.

Thats my list of things I would change, but my list of things that I would not change one bit, goes on forever! Life has been good!!

Something right along the same lines that a friend of mine and I were talking about the other day. She is going through the diagnosing process for some sort of condition and is morning her old self. So . . .

I do wish I had the physical agility and body I had when I was younger but with the wisdom I have today.

Ah, the wisdom we have today!!

If I had HAD that particular wisdom way back when I was 24, I would have not fallen in love with a certain Italian Thug who thought it was okay to use me as his personal punching bag. Oh I fell MADLY in love. I had just lost 87 lbs, and a whole new me, BUT I NEVER CHANGED MY THOUGHT PROCESS, I had no self esteem, so even though I looked like Elizabeth Taylor, my thought process was

"this guy LOVES me???

Yeah, and he put my head down the toilet bowl.

The stuff we put up with when we are young and stupid. Thank god I wised up, broke up and moved away from my neighborhood. Do you know he came looking for me a whole year later, dressed in a tux, and wanted to marry me. My friend who lived across the street, well, he knocked on her door begging her to tell him where I moved to. I had moved 6 blocks away.

Oh my god, thank god he never found me.

This type of thread is good for making us realize how much we learn by growing and educating ourselves.

Thanks.

If I knew then what I know now......

I wouldn't of done so much bad stuff in high school and actually graduated with my class instead of three month later.

I wouldn't of listen to the devil in me and listen more to the angel that was telling me "no don't do it".

I would of hiked / climed more mountains when I could

Saved the money I spent on drugs and alcohol when I was younger (wow I could be traveling now )

Spent more time with my *girl* friends in high school instead of listening to the loser boyfriend I had - but that loser boyfriend gave me a beautiful daughter that I wouldn't change for anything in this world!!!!!!!!!!

Gone to college out of high school instead of now at 40

Spent more time with Gram and listened to more of what she had to say. I miss her stories now.

but I agree with Tkrik - all the experiences I have done has made me who I am today - good, bad or indifferent. And with AMN - I just wish I had done more when I was younger.

You know, this thread has been really good for me..I'm not looking back with the "shoulda,coulda,woulda's"..I'm stopping to realize right now, I can go any number of directions from where I am. Makes me think of the choices I'm making now, so I don't live a life full of regrets later..Thanks for that!

My MIL has a plaque on the wall, suppose to be german-like speech:


We get too old soon
And too smart late.

Kids don't listen, every next generation makes the same mistakes. Like Billy Joel sang "We didn't start the fire, the worlds been burning since it started turning."

If I knew then what I know now......

1. I would have gone to graduate school soon after college. I loved college, so continuing basically made sense. I think many folks wish for more education. And BTW, I am at an "untraditional" age with grown kids, and I have finally made it back not too long ago.
2. I would have spent more time with my mother before she died (she died young).
3. Even though I have a really nice husband and we get along well, I would not have been so willing to let him "call the shots" so often and would have asked to see a family counselor if things could not be resolved.
4. I would be more consistent with managing my finances, saving and not allowing myself to get into debt. I'm working on this stuff now.
5. I would have taken better care/respect of my physical, spiritual and emotional health consistently.
( I am also working on this currently).


I am grateful for my decision early on to marry a very special man in my life whom I love dearly. We have been married for over 25 years. I'm also grateful that a few years ago, I took the time to work on some things that I had been neglecting (see 1, 4 and 5) and it has really made a positive change in my life.

If I knew then -

I wouldn't have gone out on that first date, moved in with him before I even graduated, or married him. I would have stayed single or waited till I met someone I couldn't live without.

I would have decided TO grow up, and what I wanted to be when I did.



And I think I would have kept trying to get a band together.

If I still could, I'd have my kids. But I'd be a whole lot tougher on them. I was such a pushover. Why didn't they have Nanny 911 back then?

Polar Express is right though. It's not about regrets, it's about realizing that doors have closed but windows are open.

I've blown a lot of chances and screwed up a lot of stuff. But then Perlman finished a concert with one string, and I have at least two strings left.

Paul Simon said, in You can call me Al, 'I want a shot at redemption'.

Every day you wake up you get another shot.

If I knew then what I know now...

1. I would have taken that legal receptionist/secretary job offer and not minded the commute

2. I would have gone to Bates instead of Bentley where the v-ball coach wanted me to play for her and not given a rat's behind that my hs xbf was at that school nor that I really wanted to be an accountant..shucks, I ended up changing majors anyways...(I was good at that sport)

3. I would have dumped my now-dh(then bf) that first May as a couple....

4. I would have followed up with the neuro that second bout of ON

5. I wouldn't have been so dependent on a relationship to make me feel complete...I now know that comes from within...