[MelodyL]

Hi All!!

Have a quick question.

What is the correct approach when one is faced head on with a 16 year old, over six foot, non verbal, severely autistic kid??

I sometimes am faced with this (in my neighborhood).

When he exhibits destructive behavior and screams, everybody stares (because they don't know about autism).

He has family members he lives with but they are getting on in years and I don't see how they can maintain any control.

What does one do when a severely autistic kid (big), is so out of control that he screams and yells at the top of his head.

There is lots of head banging and house shaking and it's getting scary.

I believe it's because he can't communicate and is frustrated.

Any tips would be most appreciated.

I love the family and things seem so hard.

Thanks much.

Melody

[weegot5kiz]

Mel have you talked with the parents, maybe with them aging they would appreciate some input as to what to do

[Pamster]

Sounds like he might need behavior therapy if he's not already getting it, and that can hopefully help him to get a little better at communicating. If not maybe they need to think about residential placement. I know it's been on my mind since my autistic son (12) is overly aggressive and out of control when at home. I know placement is coming.

[MelodyL]

Originally Posted by Pamster

Sounds like he might need behavior therapy if he's not already getting it, and that can hopefully help him to get a little better at communicating. If not maybe they need to think about residential placement. I know it's been on my mind since my autistic son (12) is overly aggressive and out of control when at home. I know placement is coming.

Hi.

Unfortunately, I can't talk to the parents because they just drop him off in front of the house, and pick him up at night. Lots of stuff going on in this family. I see the WHOLE FAMILY a few times a year.

It's a BIG family. Lots of professional people in this family. Sometimes, a person wants to interfere but then sometimes a person CAN'T.

People (in this case) want their privacy. I completely understand.

I think all I can really do is just wait, listen, and if they need my help, well I'll be happy to help. But I can tell you one thing. The parents, and grandparents, do NOT go on the internet and look up information on Autism.

That is abundantly clear.

Very old world type of people. And one other thing.

There is a lady around here (I've noticed her for 17 years). She's abut 45 or so. She is extremely mentally handicapped. (Not autistic). She speaks but no one can understand her. She knows what she is saying but no one else does.

Her parents did not believe in sending her to any type of special needs school for any type of special needs training (or whatever special needs schools do for people with her particular kind of disability).

Her parents actually send her shopping with a shopping cart. Do you know how many times I have seen shop keepers literally take her by her shoulders and heave her out the door because she is screaming (she knows what she is saying but because no one understands her, everyone is frustrated and nothing is accomplished).

I've seen her go into butchers, and local supermarkets with a list. She goes shopping. But because she yells and screams, everybody goes nuts and they kick her out. They actually hand her dollar blls to make her leave. And she goes back in 5 minutes later.

I once asked someone, (and she must have been 33 or so at the time). "Why do her parents send her out without anyone to accompany her". and they always sadly say "they didn't want anyone to know, they didn't believe in sending her away for help, so they just let her sit on the stoop". (And I've seen her sit on the stoop talking to herself".

They've since moved, but I have never seen such ignorance in all my life.

This woman might have had a much better shot at life if she had been properly schooled and instructed in managing her communicating skills.

She wound up never being able to communicate.

The autistic kid I know does not verbalize at all. Not one word. So at 16, I have no idea if he can be taught to communicate. I mean, the van picks him up and takes him somewhere. I gather he does SOMETHING all day long, no???"

Very frustrating (especially with more and more of our younger people being diagnosed with various forms of autism today).

Thanks for the input,

Melody

[Jomar]

Gosh , it seems like one of the family members should be able to look up info & find some sort of help.
as a kid gets big they don't always listen or do what they should...

[Autism Spectrum Disorders, or
Pervasive Developmental Disorders

Autism is a collection of behavioural symptoms, not a specific disease. These symptoms are found in several specific medical conditions as well as the autism spectrum disorders. The terms Autism Spectrum Disorders and Pervasive Developmental Disorders refer to a group of disorders characterised by delays in the development of basic functions including socialisation and communication. This group of disorders includes Asperger's disorder (Asperger's syndrome) and several other disorders in addition to autism. ]
http://www.thechildrensclinic.ie/autism.html#aspergers

But if he is disruptive, unsafe, or acting out in harmful ways maybe child services could be called and then he may get him the help needed...

Or possibly call the police if he is doing harm to himself or others, but be sure to tell them he is autistic- tell then many times, so if he isn't following their commands they don't shoot him.

It happens - they only know the person is not following commands and even worse if the person makes a wrong move.

[MelodyL]

I completely agree with you.

I have indeed tried to open up a dialogue (in Italian and in English). I was met with "But he's so smart, you should see him on the Playstation"!!!

Now how do you reply to an ignorant comment like that?

You don't.

The parents absolutely know what he has. I don't think they've explained to the Grandparents all the complexities of autism.

The grandparents only say "he's autistic". I know they don't know what that means, what it REALLY mean, I mean.

I have been there when he is banging on the walls and destroying the house and they start to sing to him to try and calm him down.

He has no communication skills whatsoever.

I don't know what he is being taught. Can a person be taught anything when they have no communication skills and they dont' verbalize?

I know other instances where they use behavior modication to get the kids to behave. Not the most nicest method I read about. Other people have told me what happens to their kids when they go to the special needs programs. They spray water in their faces when they misbehave.

But what else can they do?

The sad part is that he looks like a perfectly normal 16 year old boy. And he's absolutely gorgeous.

I once met the grandparents in the bank and they were walking out. I said Hi to the kid and he shook my hand. I never was so surprised in all my life.

It was like he was in "calm mode".

then to see him jumping around climbing on stuff and banging his head.

I think it's because he's frustrated and can't communicate.

What do you think would happen if one day I walk over to him and I do the binary code thing.

I heard that in severe autistic cases, their minds are like computers.

I picture myself looking at him and going 1 01 1 01, just to see if he would respond.

Let's just keep our fingers crossed that he has more "calm modes" than "acting out modes".

Melody