I guess it depends on what your family is like. You know them better than any of us so do what you think is right. I am just sorry to hear that you are in a situation in which you have to keep it under wraps. That in and of itself must nerve racking. My parents are very old school and when I applied for SSDI I did not tell them because, like you I didn't want to deal with thier reaction. A few months after I applied I was at my parents house and my Mother suggested I apply for SSDI. I was shocked but relieved. My parents finally accepted the fact that I could not work due to my psychological disorders. I wish you the best.

Honestly, you need to do what is best for YOU. Only you truly know what that is.

Yes, I would tell the truth. I try hard not to lie to people, because I am firm in my beliefs and do not think that it is right to lie, even if it is just a little fib or to protect yourself.

Does that mean that I would look down on you for doing the opposite of what I would do? Of course not.

Ultimately, this is your life and you need to make your own choices. There's nothing wrong with asking for opinions or advice, but in the end--it is up to you.

I would tell the truth... but if you feel that strongly that you don't want to tell them the truth, then do what you need to do to protect yourself.

I absolutely agree that it is not anyone else's business. As long as you are doing the best you can do in this life and are not causing problems for others, you are free to do whatever you'd like.

I truly wish you the best and hope that once you make a decision, that things go smoothly for you. Take care--and do what you think is best.

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Some people consider any mental health issues to be a sign of weakness and there is little you can say that will overcome their prejudices.

You also don't need the additional stress that their comments might bring you. I think your decision not to discuss it with them sounds wise.

I handled my situation differently. I'm pretty vocal/open about most things.....and my ssdi application and final approval was one of those things. A key difference is my family and close friends were very supportive of me. None of them would 'make fun of me' for being on ssdi.

I do have more casual acquaintances that have not been so supportive. Jokes about me seeing 'Dr Summeroff', etc. In their 'defense', they see me only on my good days when I've taken a bunch a pills and am all showered and dolled up.....they aren't here when I'm in bed and in pain. Some of them, I have been able to educate and enlighten. Some will still make snide comments periodically. Oh well

If you are anticipating a problem with your m-i-l, I wouldn't mention anything to that side of the family. Just keep repeating "I'm working with a good doctor and he says I have to give this more time."

I wouldn't lie, I just try to keep putting people off/be as nonspecific as possible. If someone comments on your not working, repeat "I'm working with a good doctor and he says I have to give this more time." If someone asks how you can afford xyz if you aren't working, just say "We are getting by, thanks." If someone asks if you've thought about ssdi, say "Thanks. That's a good idea."


Hang in there

Thank you Finz..that is good advise and I will definitely use those phrases!

I am getting really good advise on both sides here. I thank everyone for their input!

I love this website. Everyone has helped and supported me so many times.
Thank you!!!!!!

That's what we are ALL here for.....sometimes it's giving advice or support and sometimes it's to receive

I wouldn't tell your FIL. What I would do is tell him you decide to take his advice and apply, waiting 4/mo or so and tell him you were approved for your back issues, not the psych issues. I think it is the easiest solution to your problem and then who cares if your MIL tells anybody. Good Luck with your decision!!!

I agree with the above post 100%. See I have had 6 knee surgeries over the past 2+ years. While I won for mental issues mainly I tell everyone it was from the knee. No one needs to know anything other than you or whomever you want to know.